Niples+Jack "Arr! missiles" - continued

JP by Jack/Andy and Onion/Seymour
who: Jack and seymour, what a team!
when: nowish
where: Missile launcher control room.
<snip>
"Jolly good, if it is a tip I might bring some polish, damp cloths
and
bin-bags if that's alright"
"Erm… thats nice!" Said Jack and hung up.
"No it's not, it'll be dusty and horrible!" Seymour retorted,
although there
was no-one at the other end to hear it.
"oh." he said, noticing this problem, and set off to B-deck.
<end snip>
"Joe, are there many pirates on the way to the missile launcher
control room... and where IS the missile launcher control room?"
Jack sub-vocalised to Severn, trudging slowly up to B deck, the only
clue he had as to his destination.
"its on B deck" came the response.
"i know, but where on B deck!?" Jack almost shouted out loud.
"near the stern... the back of the 'dwarf" Severn explained.
"ok, cheers!" Jack said and tore off up the corridor at top speed,
he knew Seymour would get there first if he didn't, or at least,
thought Seymour would.
Several torn up pirates later, Jack hadn't even broken into a sweat,
and Seymour came pelting round the corridor, with shouts of "Arr!
gettim!" and "come back 'ere you scurvy dog!"
As Seymour rounded the corner, Jack could see 5 pirates running
along behind Seymour, waving swords and pointing pistols at him,
firing blindly.
"this is too easy" Jack thought to himself as he let Seymour run
past him, and quickly throwing a magnet to the other side of the
corridor, where it stuck at about neck height, the Cheese wire
attached to this being held at the other end by Jack. You can guess
what happened to the pirates as their necks made contact with it.
Blood splattered just in front of Seymour, who jumped back,
screaming "no!! this was just dry-cleaned yesterday!" the he looked
on the floor. "And what a mess! Was there really a need for
something that extreme?!"
Jack gave him a look as if to say `be grateful or you're on your own
next time!'
Seymour stopped complaining and cleared his throat "okay okay, good
job Jack" he said, Jack didn't reply, he just nodded.
The missile launcher control room was filled with dust, spiders
filled ever corner, fleeing for cover as Jack walked in, breaking
down all the webs without even hesitating, Seymour followed
gingerly, in the mighty Security guards wake of destruction. A
spider spun a thread down near his face, "ahh! gettit off gettit
off!! It's a baby Hymenoptera!" he shouted, whipping out a can of
Raid spray and zapping the bug at arms length.
"hows this work then?" Jack asked as they got to the control panel
itself, the lights weren't on.
"There should undoubtedly be an 'on' switch somewhere" Seymour said,
keeping his arms close to himself, not wanting to touch the dust,
luckily he had the sense to bring plastic bags, which he had tied
onto his feet now.
Jack turned it on, it whirred, and surprising all it took was 2
lights to turn on. All of the buttons were encrusted by a thick
layer of dust, Seymour took out his brush, and began dusting them
down carefully, using his Porta-Vac to vacuum it up, Jack took the
more masculine approach and exhaled powerfully towards it.
"Excuse me!" Said Seymour, hands on hips as dust was blown in his
face. "Do you have to blow that all over me?"
Jack ignored him and concentrated on the controls. "So how do we
work it?"
"Well I don't know do I? I used to be the Captain, I get lackeys to
boss around and do it for me."
Jack scowled at him.
"Actually with the bunch of useless lackeys on this ship, I HAVE to
do everything myself. Use that control stick to aim it at the pirate
ship" Seymour said, pointing to a Joy-stick that was still covered
in dust.
Jack grasped it, and moved it around until the pirate ship came into
view on the external camera.
"arm a missile with those controls" Seymour instructed, pointing at
a group of flick switches, which weren't even dust covered to start
with, strangely enough, there was a faint smell of Raid coming from
them... month old raid. Seymour flicked these switches himself, and
instructed Jack to pull the trigger.
Jacks finger put pressure on the trigger, closer and closer it came
to firing a missile, before suddenly a spacesuit-clad pirate
appeared on the camera, with a pair of wire cutters in his hands,
and a warning sound flared up -
**WARNING, CONTROL SEVERED, MISSILE LAUNCHER POWERING DOWN** it
said, in a robotic version of Captain Cannons voice. The pirate
waved, and flew back to his ship.
"DAMMIT!" Jack shouted, pounding his fists on the control panel,
which dented it somewhat. He turned and walked out, but Seymour had
already left, and was dusting himself down with a brush that looked
suspiciously like Stalin's 'tash.
"What now oh great and mighty ruler?" Jack asked with a great amount
of sarcasm in his voice as he said 'great and mighty'. Seymour shot
him a look that could only mean one thing 'I hope you actually meant
what you said'.
Jack ignored him. "This is great, we can't even fight back, all we
have is a disabled missile launcher…"
"Actually incorrect. Look!" Said Seymour. "They're stealing it!"
They looked through the monitor and saw that the pirates were
uncoupling the weapon and towing it back to their ship.
"And that's not all they're getting, they must have got to the
Flight Deck, they've hotwired some Starbugs!"
"Thieves!" Said Seymour.
"That Starbug is towing a tank of lager!" Said Jack.
"oh never mind, I don't like lager."
"That one is towing some casket of wine hampers!"
"THE BASTARDS!" Seymour exclaimed. Jack was shocked to hear the
Royal Ambassador come out with such an outburst. "We must get to the
Flight Deck immediately!"
<tag to anyone, everybody with their own ships in the Flight Deck
might want to protect them!>