Niples "Taking a walk outside"

Blue Dwarf Promenade Monorail
Above the Promenade
As the monorail stopped
<monorail snip!>
"We've stopped!" McJohn shouted, displaying his talent for
emphasizing the damn bloody obvious.
"No sheet!" responded Elian.
"Probably one of the drive contact circuits!" said Efof.
"I figured that! I'll go down and fix it," McJohn replied, and
promptly began climbing out of the back of the monorail when Jay
Clone #854 (McJohn's Unlucky Number) fired at him.
The clone missed, but the monorail lurched enough from the impact to
send McJohn falling to the promenade floor. Then the laser rifle
landed on his head.
<end monorail snip>
Seymour made his way past the crowd of people rammed onto the
Promenade monorail that had just been saved from the clones below to
the front car. "Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me please, please don't
touch me, excuse me…"
The cheetah and scorpion Jays scowled at them from below, unable to
reach them. The wasp-Jays swarmed around, and occasionally hit the
glass windows, hoping to get at the crew.
"Efof, I never thought you would be clever or brave enough to save
us all like this!" The Royal Ambassador commended him.
Efof was continually poking the pink tree that had just climbed
aboard "look, its getting annoyed, hehe, it's a tree that gets
annoyed!" He looked up at the Ambassador as it looked like the tree
was about to twat him one.
"Well I was just serving up some drinks in Parrotts when all these
scorpions came in, and I though, hmmm this is a bit odd, but of
course I didn't think that RIGHT away cos I never worked a Saturday
day shift before, so for all I know this could have been pretty
normal, so anyway they came in and started wrecking the place up and
I'm like argh, get out you punk ass wierdos before I pop a cap in
your ass and they're like all raaargh, so I went woah, that's some
crazy shit and then…"
Seymour folded his arms. "Is this story going anywhere? I can barely
understand what you're talking about, you've been watching too many
street-jive hiphop gangster films haven't you?"
"Yeah!" Efof said excitedly doing the actions with his
hands. "Anyway, I was like this is crazy man, even for your human
standards so I saw the monorail up on the promenade and thought I
could get away in that. And the controls for this are just like that
model Hornsby one you have in your apartment…"
Seymour shot him a stern look to get him to stop talking, Efof being
as slow as he is didn't get the message and looked confused.
"Like the model railway you have in your apartment…"
Emma Roberts overheard the conversation. "Seymour has a model
railway?" Other people started to take interest and laugh at Seymour.
Seymour shook his head frantically. "Of course not…"
"Yeah, its bad-ass man!" Said Efof. "He's made little tunnels and
everything for it, a little station with little hand painted people…
he even has a station controllers hat and…"
Efof found Seymour's hand over his mouth. "I'm sorry, he's a little
confused, being with humans for so long has corrupted his little
Ffionian mind, he's been corrupted by our television- see the way
that he talks?!"
"Seymour has a train set! Seymour has a train set!!" Emma mocked,
others started chanting too.
"Stop it, I'm a Royal Ambassador… RIGHT THAT'S IT, NO KNIGHTHOOD FOR
ANY OF YOU LOT! I can send a blacklist to the royal family you know!"
Suddenly there was a lot of commotion outside. The animal clones
seemed to be moving away and something else was moving closer.
<snip>
They stood about 12 feet tall, It was Jay Chrysler from head to
waist, but that was were the similarity ended, from waist down was
what could only be described as a killing machine. Two immense
mechanical legs, which ended in talon-like claws, from the waist
extended four metallic tentacles, all that had the same `claws' on
the end, the clones snapped these open and shut, revealing missile
launchers.
<end snip>
"Ooh eer missus!" Said Efof.
"Indeed!" Said Seymour.
The mechanoid Jay fired a rocket up at the stationary Monorail which
hit the rail above that the monorail connected to, all carriages
shook from the blast and everyone screamed as the power in all
carriages flickered and went out. There was a groaning sound as the
broken rail snapped and the monorail lurched forwards and downwards.
"We're coming off the tracks!" Seymour cried and urged everyone to
get to the back carriages, which would be the last to fall off the
rail.
The mechanoid clone reached up and tried to grab the first section
of the monorail that was slipping off the track. He shook it
violently and curiously.
A lot of girls screamed, including Seymour.
Efof held on excitedly. "Woah what a ride!"
All the carriages were now pointed downwards, with only the last one
still connected to the rail above, and the clone holding the first,
shaking them all to pull it off the track.
Seymour pushed his way to the back. "Excuse me, important person
coming through! I have rights to be saved first!"
He reached the last carriage and realised he couldn't go any
further. The only place to go was out of the window. It wasn't too
far a jump to the upper level of the Promenade from here. He raised
his trusty spoon and belted the window. It bounced straight off and
he stood shaken. "Bugger, safety glass!" He took another swipe at
the glass and the spoon glanced off. He tried to act manly as
realised his hand really hurt.
"Mr Ambassador!" came Dante's voice behind him. Semour took a step
back and the without saying a word, Dante impressively and
effortlessly put his hand through the glass.
"Thank you my good man!" Seymour saluted. "I'll recommend you for a
special commendation from the Queen of England when we next get back
to Earth."
Dante looked slightly impressed.
"You'll probably be the first alien ever considered for a Royal
commendation" said Seymour.
"I want one too!" Efof said in a pitiful voice behind him.
"Shut up" said Seymour.
Everyone started jumping out onto the upper level of the
promenade. "No! Me first, I'm a very important person!" Seymour
whinged.
Everyone fled the promenade and took refuge in the blockbusters
video store. "Mr Ambassador!" Boomed Dante as Seymour hid cowered
behind a stack of his favourite chick flicks.
"Yes? …ooh `gone with the wind?'"
"We need some weapons, we cannot defeat those big robot Jays with…"
he looked down at Seymour's choice of weapon. "…spoons! And there is
no way of getting to the Armoury, its guarded by those …things. Our
best bet maybe to get to the shuttlebays and take some weapons off
the ships."
Seymour thought for a moment, ducked as a missile blast from the
robot clones on the promenade knocked a display DVD flying and
embedded it into the wall above his head.
"Remember, I was Captain of this ship for a reasonably long time,
there's a way…"
***later***
A team of Blue Dwarfers donned spacesuits in one of the upper access
hatches and decompressed. They stepped out onto the exterior of the
ship. Towering blue buildings and communication masts climbed out of
the asteroid pocked and dirty belly of the ship, making the hull a
very interesting and impressive looking place.
"When I came up with this idea I thought you could all come without
me!" Seymour whined. "I don't like zero G atmospheres, it makes me
nauseous!"
"Stop your bitching and show us the way" Dante deadpanned.
"There's two shuttle bays on each side of the ship, I suggest we get
to the closest one and get as many weapons off the ships as we can"
Seymour gulped and breathed deeply. He was turning a nasty shade of
green in his helmet. "I think you gentlemen better go without me…"
He turned to go back but Dante spun him around. "Show us the way!"
He said.
<tag, any one want to go for a walk outside? we're heading to the
shuttlebays for some big ass weapons!>