RE: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Seymour, Alotta+Jay \"Ooh Velour\"

Jay grabbed  a bazookoid from the armoury
and then darted back to the Drive Room. “ALOTA!” he shouted “Take
cover!”, he waited a few seconds then opened fire, blowing the door to
Alota’s office to shreds.
“I say!” said Seymour “That was awfully
rude!”
The dust settled and the image of Jay,
with Bazookoid held so it rested on his shoulder came into view.
“Get away from my woman NOW!”
he said.
“I LOVE HER!” Seymour shouted, out of
character being his emotions out of his control “I’ll LOVE HER
BETTER THAN YOU EVER COULD!”
”No-one love’s a lady better than me Niples…” Jay said
smugly, taking Alota’s hand and helping her across the debris that just
moments ago had been her office.
“Come on” he said “Lets
go get a drink” The Chrysler’s left Seymour and caught the
express-lift to the promenade.
 
They had just got to the door of Parrots
when they were interrupted. “CHRYSLER!!” came a voice, booming
across the promenade, through the crowd. “NOONE TAKES ALOTA AWAY FROM
ME!!” it was Seymour, he had followed.
“Persistent lil’ swine aint
he?!” Alota commented, Jay turned slowly to face the ambassador. “You”
he said “Are really starting to PISS ME OFF!” Seymour dashed
across and pushed Jay back, against the window of the bar, then grabbed Alota’s
arm and began leading her away. “Come my love!” he said “We can
make a new life together and elope to Barbados!”
 
SMACK!
 
Seymour was knocked to the ground, he lifted himself from the ground,
looked over his shoulder to see what had hit him. Chrysler stood. Fist’s
raised, in a  fighting stance, “YOU!”
“I warned you…” he said “You
smegging ponce!”
“Ponce?! I’m a gentleman! But
I’m willing to forget that of you are THAT adamant on fisticuffs!” Seymour waved his fists like a
lunatic.
“Suits me fine!” Jay replied
and he lurched at Seymour..
 
<tag onion..>
 
-----Original
Message-----From: Onion
[mailto:theonion770@...] Sent: 14
February 2004 13:39To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.comSubject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Seymour,
Alotta+Jay "Ooh Velour"
 
<snip>the comm. Beeped on the wall and the panicked face
of Alota appeared on screen."Jay! Honey…could you come to the
promenade….NOW!?"  Jay could swear he could see a giant teddy bear filling the
entire background of the image. "Er..yeah.." said Jay and headed for the
door "Oh by the way" he said to Cerebrum and Keto "DON'T FORGET THE
FOREPLAY!!!"<end snip>Jay made his way up to the Drive Room in the lift
and had to fight past a giant stuffed teddybear, its arms had been
ripped off making it look scarily hideous, and getting stuffing
everywhere.He turned to the Captains Office adjacent to the
Drive room and heard Seymours voice inside say "Don't you
like my new robe…" he stroked the material he was wearing. "Ooh
velour!"Jay tried the door but it was locked. He turned to
holly's screen. "Holly whats with the door?""Seymour's put a security override on it,
special password protection from when he was Captain. There's
nothing I can do."--Inside the Captains Office--Seymour was sprawled out on the desk wearing a
sleek velour dressing gown. "Come one you know you want to feel
this material, its very expensive, it was finely stitched by plebeian
virgins who were whipped by nuns!"He sat upright and crossed his legs."Gah!" Alotta turned away as Seymours
gown exposed too much of him."Have I not told you how much I admire you as
a captain… and a Woman!" he spouted with a wink."I like it when you give orders… you so
it in a very…sexual way!" He said, rubbing his thighs.Alotta banged on the door. "Help, let me out
of here!"Jay knocked back "Don't worry I'm here, but I
cant get the door open.""Blow it up!""Okay" she heard Jay running off to get
something to blow the door open with."Hey Seymour…" Said Alotta. "Yes my darling!" Seymour raised his
eyebrow."Come and stand by the door for a
bit…"<sorry its so short, got a lot of work to do
today. Tag Jay... fight fight fight fight!>...Protecting
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