Keto's Worst Nightmare

Who: Keto, Wildflower, Big Pink Tree
Where: Medibay
When: After returning from Plebe
============================
Keto was sat in his favourite place in the whole wide world -
behind his desk, separated from the rest of the crew by his office
door.
He was still kicking himself over the fact that he hadn't managed
to procure any of the Plebian super-power producing rock from its
moon...but since the choice had either been flee or be killed, it
hadn't been an option. Even so, it was a pity.
Keto was running through the medical manifest of the ship. By now
he had a shortlist of about fifty or so crewmembers whom he could
presumably easily convince that they were the spawn of disliked human
beings (most of them, in fact, being Cerebrum). If the psychiatrist
agreed, he was sure that the two of them could run a lucrative
blackmail-adoption agency. The only problem would be explaining how,
precisely, Cerebrum had fathered all these children. Some plausible
explanation involving time travel, cloning and four gallons of plasma
would have to be thought up.
Keto paused and looked up as there was a brief hissing from the
office air vent and the viral monitor light blinked uncertainly,
before turning back to a steady green.
"Stupid unreliable equipment," muttered Keto, then frowned as he
felt a faint tingling at the back of his throat. He coughed slightly
and it vanished. "Strange..."
The buzzer sounded. Keto had decided, upon returning, that if
there was one thing his office needed, it was a buzzer that could be
sounded when people wanted to enter.
The buzzer sounded again.
Because then, of course, he was free to ignore it.
The buzzer sounded again, and again, and again, and again, and
again and again and again again again again again...
"ALRIGHT, DAMN IT, COME IN!" bellowed Keto, his patience finally
snapping, but not looking up from his work. The door swished open.
*RUSTLERUSTLERUSTLE!*
"I don't care if Wildflower is chasing you," snapped Keto, still
not looking up, "Why would I care?"
"*Rustlerustle...rustle......" continued the Tree.
"Don't be absurd," continued Keto, still flicking through the
papers, "Firstly, you're a tree and nobody could love a tree.
Secondly, you're you, and nobody could love you."
The Tree muttered something in...well, Tree-ish. Keto had had
enough practice to recognise sarcasm in any language, so he growled
and looked up - but the moment he chose to do so was just that moment
at which Wildflower dived through the door, tackling the Tree.
"Tree! My love!" she cried as it wobbled and fell over.
Unfortunately for Keto, the first thing his eyes met as they rose
from the paper was the face of Wildflower. He blinked.
"This is bad," mused Keto's mind as he stared at her, bewitched.
"This is very, very bad," it continued, as he unconsciously dropped
the sheaf of papers he was holding and stood up slowly. Wildflower
was trying to help the Tree up, while the Tree was trying desperately
to get away.
"HELP ME!" Keto's mind yelled, as the Tree bounded out of the
medibay, shrieking in Tree-ish, followed by Wildflower who was trying
to embrace it, followed by the hapless Keto who found himself
compelled to follow her.
====================
OOC: Somebody help me here.