Nightmare at Stewie's

Stewie's . . .
Zack waved goodbye to all of his future selves. They were
covering for him while he went to get Cubie from the engineers.
The walk to engineering was rather interesting. People were
strolling around with vegetables in place of various parts of their
anatomy. A pink Christmas tree was bouncing up and down a
passageway, drinking beer and dragging vegetable-people behind it.
At one point he had been subjected to a rainstorm comprised of lime
Jell-o jigglers.
But he'd finally arrived. The engineers spotted him and leaped
to their feet. Two of them reached for crutches. They converged on
him rapidly, anger in their eyes. Zack smiled nervously. "Uh, hi
guys."
One of them tossed Cubie's case to him. "Here! She's all
yours!"
Zack caught the case. "Were you able to . . . fix her?"
The engineer shook his head. "Every time we activated her, she
started beating the daylights out of us. We tweaked her files a
little bit, but I honestly don't know what we accomplished."
Another engineer loomed over Zack, his left arm in a sling. "I
don't remember you warning us that she was such a martial arts
expert. I think you should feel a little of what we felt." He
started to reach a meaty paw toward Zack's face.
Zack stepped back, bumping into the chest of another angry
engineer. "Well, let's just ask Cubie, shall we?" Flipping the
cover open, he tapped her activation control.
The room was suddenly full of people leaving. Cubie stood there
in a purple flight suit, glaring at the retreating backs. "Try to
make me appear naked again, and I'll . . . " She looked around,
surprised. "Oh, hi Zack. Can we go?"
Zack rested his thumb on the deactivate button. "Are you going
to kill me?"
Cubie laughed. "No. Why? Is that something I might do?"
Zack smiled and shook his head. "Of course not! What a silly
question!"
Cubie frowned. "Well you brought it u-"
"So have they repaired your time-jumping capabilities? Can you
link with the STCP mainframe?" Zack's smile widened as he quickly
changed the subject.
Cubie concentrated for a moment. "No. I'm still not making the
connection. Maybe I'm locked out permanently! Maybe I'll never ST-
jump again!"
Zack chuckled. "No . . . I'm pretty sure we'll be on the move
again before too long." He frowned momentarily. All of his doubles
had looked a few years older than he was. Perhaps it would be a
while before they could jump again. But he figured that Blue Dwarf
was a passable place to hide from the STCP.
~Oh, what the heck.~
As they returned to Stewie's, they observed several other
strange things. A giant hamster was conversing with Death in a
burger joint. A herd of tomatoes rolled by, trying to nip at his
heels until Cubie stomped several of them. And the exterior of
Stewie's was covered in lasagna.
Upon entering the store, they were greeted by their future
selves.
"Ye gads we looked great, didn't we?"
"Look at you kids! Hardly a belly on you at all, young man!"
Zack fended off several attempts to squeeze his cheeks. He
noticed for the first time that all of his future selves were
predominately gray and pot-bellied. Cubie of course was unchanged.
"How long are we stranded on Blue Dwarf?"
The future selves smiled at each other. "Can't say, Zackie-
boy! Temporal anomalies and all. Besides - knowing would just bug
you. You can't do anything about it."
The oldest Zack cleared his throat. "All right, since we're all
here, I want to remind everyone of the Zack-Cubie reunion to take
place at the Riviera in Las Vegas on October 12th, 2552. Reserve
your rooms now and avoid the rush. We'll be taking up half the
hotel."
Several cheers went up, and then future selves started
disappearing down jump-tubes, leaving a flabbergasted Zack to gape at
an annoyed Cubie.
"Is this a common occurance with ST-travel?"
Cubie snorted. "Only when done by irresponsible ninnies like
you!"
Just then the doors opened and a group of shoppers came in.
Zack started toward them, absentmindedly rubbing a rash on the back
of his neck that he'd just noticed. "Welcome to Stewie's. How can I
help . . ."
Zack stopped in his tracks. His worst nightmare in the retail
and service business stood before him.
"Konichiwa!" Shouted the two dozen Japanese tourists. They
immediately lifted Nikon cameras and started taking pictures of
everything in sight.
~~~~~
Will Zack and Cubie ever regain their temporal freedom?
Can Zack overcome his terror of Asian tourists?
Will Cubie beat him half to death again without warning?
Will Stewie, upon seeing the new exterior decoration, discount the
Parmasan cheese?
Stay tuned . . .
~~~~~
Zack Richards