Re: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Flatpack and do DIY..on the battlefield?

Whoops. "Back" at the bottom should read "bag". Damn my non-existent proof-reading.
 
Chris

----- Original Message -----
From: Chris Allan
To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroupscom
Sent: Saturday, January 17, 2004 10:21 PM
Subject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Flatpack and do DIY..on the battlefield?

  "And you wanted superpowers?"  "You're quite right, I must be so petty, Mr Look-At-Me-I'm-A-Giant-Lighter."  "When you two have quite finished arguing!" snapped Alota, "We've got a mission to get on with!"<END SNIP>
"Excuse me miss Alota ma'am," said Dean's head, "but when you've finished giving orders could you possibly put my left leg back into the bag with the rest of me? Thank you so much." he added, as Alota complied.
"Furthermore could someone carry my head so I can see this time, rather then put it in the bag with the rest of it?"
"Dante'll do it." said Phil, Dante, lacking any courage with which to stand up to Phil, said nothing, but wordlessly picked up Dean's head and placed it under one arm.
"Thanks mate." said Dean. "It's rather annoying that since the polymorph removed my fear I can't re-assemble."
"I think I've got an ointment for that..." said Keto, rummaging in the bag he'd brought with him.
"SOME STOP HIM!" yelled Jay,
"Here it is." said Keto.
"Hang on." said Keats, reasonably "Why on Io would you have an ointment for this sort of un-foreseeable emergency..."
"Don't let him try it!" said Dean, "I don't want to be a chicken!"
The party was somewhat interrupted by the crashing of a Blue Midget about 100metres away. As the crew got up from where they had been blown by the shockwave, Jay could be heard above them all.
"DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!!!""Yes?"
"So, by some miracle, someone else crashed a ship?"
"Looks like it. Mine's back over there a bit." said Dean, and his arm, a few feet away pointed in the correct direction.
"So who was piloting it?" asked Jay, wandering off towards the steaming midget. Then changing direction and heading towards the crashed ship.
Leaving Dean on the ground.
"Oi! Oi!" Dean shouted but to no avail. Just then, Keto homed into view. And emptied a vial of ointment over Dean's head.
"Not good." said Dean, feeling his head tingle.
 
"Not good." said Alota, seeing that despite their words, they had let Keto use his ointment.
 
"Not good" said Keto, as Dean's hair burst into flames.
 
Dean's head turned green, then blue, then red, then ochre, then it suddenly expanded. 200%, 300%, 400%. Dean's limbs expanded too, bursting the back. 500%.
 
And they stopped.
 
"Great." said Tara
"Fantastic." said Dante
"Superb." said Jay
"Interesting." said Keto.
"So, now we have..." said Phil, "Our very own self-assembly "giant" kit?"
"Pretty much." said Jay, "only it's not Swedish. It's Ionian."
 
Dean "500%" Thomas