Efof-\"Health + Safety\"

<snip>
Kara saw that the new crew member was getting very angry so she
bought him three FootWiser lagers which shut him up surprisingly
fast and he stumbled off only to pass out in the hallway ten paces
away from the exit of Parrot's Bar.
<end snip>
Efof, Kara + a collapsed Skylar
Parrotts Bar
"Oh no look he's collapsed!" Kara said pointing at the recently
exited Skylar.
"OH GREAT!!!" Said Efof and then wondered why Kara instantly looked
at him funny. "I've just finished doing my health+safety training,
this gives me a good opportunity to put it into practice!"
He rushed out onto the Promenade where Skylar had fallen flat on his
face.
"So what do we do first?" Kara said following. "Check his breathing?
Pulse?"
"Well what I just learned was…. Bend down like this…" Efof
demonstrated. "Keep your back straight…. Then pick him up, still
keeping your back straight!" He picked Skylar up in his 4 arms,
keeping his back perfectly straight.
Efof beamed. "Good innit!!"
"Errrm Efof…. Are you sure that extremely useful bit of health and
safety wasn't just for picking beer crates up?" Kara said.
"Oh…" Said Efof. "I suppose it might have been."
He dropped Skylar from his arms and he thudded to the floor.
"Nevermind," Said Efof. "I'm sure I'll learn what to do with drunken
people someday in my training."
He looked at three of his arms before he found the fourth one with a
watch on. "Right its time for me to get back to the drive room, this
ship doesn't just control itself you know!" Then he moved closer and
whispered. "Sometimes I hold the joystick in place with a spatula so
it almost DOES control itself, hehe!"
"Riiiight…" Kara said rolling her eyes.
<tag Kara or Skylar? Ran into a bit of a dead end with this post!>
--- In JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com, "alaina correll"
<giglojowatdono@h...> wrote:
>
> Skylar frowned at the turn of events. "What the bloody hell is
going on?
> What the fuck is with this guy! And I'm not twelve I'm eighteen
and bloody
> well look it!" Kara saw that the new crew member was getting very
angry so
> she bought him three FootWiser lagars which shut him up
suprisingly fast and
> he stumbled off only to pass out in the hallway ten paces away
from the exit
> of Parrot's Bar.
>
> >From: "Capt. Emerald" <acerimmer1986@h...>
> >Reply-To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com
> >To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com
> >Subject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] La da da!
> >Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2003 17:32:31 -0700
> >
> >Kara peeled Efof away and smiled. "I'm just trying to talk with
the kid.
> >He's new and all. Just trying to talk and warn him of stuff and
so on. How
> >was I to know he was going to make a move?" Kara asked. She
noticed that
> >Efof seemed to grow worried at the mention of "making a move."
Kara laughed
> >and shook her head. "You don't need to worry Efof. If you want to
go out
> >sometime I will but it has to be some where decent. I won't be
seen hanging
> >around waste and so on." She said. She noticed the new crewmember
was quite
> >confused by the chain of events.
> >
> >
> >
> >Smeg On, Captain Emerald.
> >"Fear me for I am a writer!(evil laughter)"
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > >From: "Onion" <theonion770@h...>
> > >Reply-To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com
> > >To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com
> > >Subject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] **Actionette** "Marines Marines!"
> > >Date: Mon, 15 Sep 2003 20:58:00 -0000
> > >
> > >OOC-I just realised nothing much has gone on outside of Dean
for a
> > >while so I'll pick up from last week. This is an
**Actionette**, not
> > >quite worthy of **Action** status but hope it has enough
narrative
> > >to explain a few things.
> > >
> > >Cerebrum lead the confused Marines away, the butch men were
looking
> > >at his business card. Dean was being helped to medi-bay.
> > >"…and now look at the injuries, he's bleeding! So may sue for
> > >physical and emotional damage, and the trauma of being mistaken
for
> > >a woman!"
> > >
> > >MP was humping the legs of one of the female marines. She
brushed
> > >him away although secretly must have enjoyed it as she slipped
the
> > >midget her number.
> > >
> > >Efof and Wirrals stood there unsure what happened. After a
moments
> > >pause Efof thrust his `Hero' certificate in the air.
> > >"THE HERO PREVAILS!!!" he said dramatically.
> > >
> > >Wirrals found himself start to sober up. "Right, back to
Parrotts"
> > >he announced.
> > >"BACK TO PARROTTS!!!" Efof said even more dramatically.
Punching the
> > >air and following Wirrals who had his hands in his pockets.
> > >
> > >
> > >---Back in Parrotts---
> > ><snip>
> > >"So what is an attractive bird like you in a
> > >place like this talking to a smeghead like me?"Why the hell did
he
> > >say that?
> > >Oh,well at least he was being honest. "Hi, I'm Skylar Summers
by the
> > >way."
> > ><end snip>
> > >
> > >Efof regained his position behind the bar, and gave Owen his
> > >certificate, who wasn't impressed but said he's put it up on the
> > >wall with the other bar-tat.
> > >
> > >Wirralls pointed over to Kara and Skylar, who were chatting on
a far
> > >table.
> > >"Looks like that guy's hitting on your bird Efof!"
> > >
> > >Efof looked around and saw them chatting.
> > >"Oh no, what do I do?!"
> > >"Go over and tell him to keep away" Said Owen.
> > >"But..but…well she's not really even my girlfriend yet… we've
only
> > >been on a few dates" Efof whined.
> > >"Have you been on a picnic yet?" Owen asked.
> > >"Well I wanted to take her down to Waste Extraction for a
romantic
> > >picnic but she refused…"
> > >"Refused waste extraction? The BITCH!" Wirrals said
sarcastically.
> > >"Nevermind!" said Owen rubbing Efofs shoulders to give him
> > >confidence. "You like her don't you?" Efof nodded. "Then go for
it!"
> > >Efof climbed over the bar, knocking drinks flying and smashing
> > >glasses.
> > >
> > >He walked over to Kara and the boy he'd never seen before.
> > >
> > >"Oi! This is my girlfriend!" he said and sat down next to Kara,
> > >hugging her tightly.
> > >"Efof your squeezing me!" Kara winced.
> > >"She's mine, not yours!"
> > >"Efof! Whats wrong with you? I can talk to whoever I like!"
> > >"No, only talk tome, pweeease…. I want to be your boyfriend…"
said
> > >Efof like a child, and big puppydog eyes.
> > >Kara laughed.
> > >"Efof you're so pathetic! Anyway you've got the wrong idea.
This is
> > >Skylar, he's only twelve!"
> > >"Only twelve? ONLY twelve?!! I'm a Ffionian, I WAS MARRIED BY
> > >TWELVE!!"
> > >"Really?" Said Kara. Knowing the things she had heard about
Ffion
> > >she wasn't really surprised.
> > >"No of course not!! You humans believe any old tripe I come out
with
> > >dont ya!"
> > >Kara rolled her eyes.
> > >
> > >----Cerebrums office----
> > >A group of Marines sat in the waiting room cross-legged reading
out
> > >of date fashion magazines while Cerebrum had the leader in his
room
> > >on the comfychair.
> > >
> > >"So does this job make you feel angry? Or did you become a
marine
> > >because you were angry?" Cerebrum asked and jotted down his
notes.
> > >"Well…. HEY! This is just a distraction isn't it?! We came here
for
> > >a job and by gum we're going to do it right!"
> > >
> > >Cerebrum groaned. "If you must…"
> > >The marine took out his walkie talkie. "Right men, I want all
teams
> > >to deploy ASAP! We need to catch that woman…man…Dean…thing."
> > >"All teams just to catch Dean?" Cerebrum asked. Jotting
something
> > >down about insecurity.
> > >"No, no!" Replied the marine. "We're also going to have a good
piss
> > >up, find your best burlesque house and rudely whistle at and
harass
> > >all the women officers onboard, oh yeah baby!"
> > >
> > >
> > >---Flight Deck---
> > >Three large troop carriers flew aboard and hundreds of brawny,
bad
> > >mannered, pea-brained, joking marines filed out. Each one
pinching
> > >the Flight Deck Attendants posterior as they passed.
> > >
> > >The lead marine passed over some papers to the nearest person he
> > >could find, who happened to be WD-40. "Space Core regulation
69.5
> > >paragraph 2 states that for the next…"
> > >"Regulation 69.5 paragraph 2? The Space Core council should be
> > >representative of every United Nation aside from the Welsh
because
> > >they're ginger haired tossers? A widely controversial policy
but I
> > >don't see how it applies here sir"
> > >"Okay paragraph 3 then. For the next 7 days the Blue Dwarf will
be
> > >under our control!!!"
> > >
> > ><Ok everyone outside of Dean. We have company!>
> > >
> > >
> >
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