Against His Will: A Very Painful Wedgie Story

He walked like a cowboy who had rode the last hundred miles, on a
saddle made of broken glass, but he felt even worse, a hell of a lot
worse to be more exact. This feeling if he had the time, patiences,
or mental capacity would have been explain as either being caught at
the wrong side of an orgy, or the after math pf a visit to an all
you can eat mexican joint. Of course their was also the mental
pain, of half the sheep new he wore smurf undies, and of course
having the strange feeling someone or something had taken him around
the baseball diamond, and hadn't even left a phone number, or took
him to someplace nice to eat. Worse yet with his underwear over his
head he looked like some strange lucador, with a even stranger
obsession with colonies of blue men, who co existed with only one
female counterpart. Agatha didn't make it any better.
"Your despecable." He said in a humorous way as he finally made it
to work, he couldn't see her, but he could tell she was smirking,
and trying to hold back a laugh. He wobbled over to were he thought
the counter was reaching out for her.
"What are you doing," She said laughing (which is unusual).
"Your going to help me get m underwear off my head." He said as
she managed to spin him around.
"Not if we were married for a thousand years, and then you'd have
to promise me you was leaving town forever." She saod in a Scarlet
O'hara, meets Lady McBeth tone.
"Atleast pass me some scissors deary." She concurred but only to
see what he was going to do.
Blindly he reached around his back back trying to find the elastic,
Agatha smiled hoping against hope he would end up in a emergency
room. Finally the underwear snapped, sending the smurfs flying as
if they were sucked into a Blackhole. He let out a yelp the
underwear found it's destination. In pain he looked around, "Were
are all the customers."
"They left when they found out we served french fries instead of
Freedom fries, but at least you got up this morning." She smiled
brightly.