The Final Chapter of the Doppelganger Fiasco

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Transcript of Monologue by Stewie McKenzie
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I caught my breath as I hobbled back to Zack.
"Anything the matter?"
"No, just old age being attacked by
yourself."
"Oh no, not him again!" sighed Zack impatiently.

"Well sorry! It's odd that he seemed calmer,
I wonder why ...".
Then I remembered to show Zack something
before I showed him his office.
"Oh yes Zack, I must show you new waterbeds
that I imported from Ruta III."
We went to the Bedding section when I took one
look,
"Hey ..."
Major Harris
Outside McKenzie's
Harris was clutching the smegger's bee like
he was trying to crush an egg. He had to do
another tedious job for McKenzie - a
waterbed slasher. He hated doing things which
possibly involved holograms. However, the
Major never the less went in to see Stewie.Myself/Zack Richards/Major Harris
Inside McKenzies - Bedding department
I was very concerned about this. Not about
who did it - he knew it was Mad McKenzie as
it smelled like toilet and it said "Mad
Stuart McKenzie slashed this water bed."
I was concerned about replacing it.
It was rare that Ruta III was at war with
Sontar so their lovely waterbed exports
were horribly expensive and only came once
every 28 months. At last Harris arrived.
I saw something egg shaped in his left hand
making his knuckles white. I'm not surprised
- it probably was an egg. But then
I looked closer and saw a glimpse of a light
bee before I was hit by his fist. Not hard
thank gaw.
"McKenzie. Richards. Before you come telling
me all about your oh so precious waterbeds
I have in my palm the light bee of your
doppelganger."
I couldn't believe it.
"I don't believe it!" I said, "If you don't
mind please place the light bee under your
right boot and crush it senseless."
"Are you tellin' me my job?" asked Harris.
There was a pause, followed by
"Does it have to be my right boot?"Myself/Harris/FeBuggure/Cmdr Niples/Cpt Cannon
Garbage Shute
"If I had the heart I would've given him a
proper funeral."
I looked at the jam jar of partially crushed
light bee. Then Harris handed me a tatty
brown paper bag which I placed the "ashes"
in.
"Does he deserve a paper bag?" the Captain
piped up. The Commander gave him a funny look.
"The man was a maniac killer!"
"Exactly. Should'a just shoved the bits in the

shute and flushed the smegger into space.
We all thought about it.
"Yeah all right," I said and tipped the
contents into the chute and did what the
Captain suggested.
"Well," said FeBuggure, "Bet he didn't see that
one coming,"
"Oh well," I sighed. After a few seconds of
reflection time I said,
"Who wants ice-cream on me?".
We all cheered and left the garbage centre.
When we did leave we didn't see a semi
transparent figure's head 'n' shoulders appear
from the shute. It was .. yeah you know.
Like you really didn't see this one coming!
He was fading every so often. He was trying
to get a hand hold to escape when he pressed
the "flush" button. I could of heard a loud,
"BUGGGGEEERRRR!!!!!!". I knew then that the
Doppelganger fiasco was finally over.
THE END!!!
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