Re: Efof- \"Corona Nightclub\"

Corona Nightclub
2am
The music in the nightclub faded down and the lights turned on.
Everyone mulled out except for Efof who was still dancing on the
podium energetically from his sugar-high.
"Efof I think they want us to leave. Efof?"
Efof snapped out of his dancing trance and froze his arms in mid
dance looking a bit like John Travolta with rubber limbs.
"Ooh they've turned the lights on, I can see what i'm doing better!"
"No Efof that means your supposed to leave, I think they turn the
lights on to make you realise how stupidly you've been dancing and
embarassingly go home."
"Oh I suppose we should." Said Efof, getting down from the podium.
There was an awkward slience between them, one of the kind that the
longer you leave it, the more awkward it is to say something and
break it. Efof of course didnt adhere to normal human rules like
this and quite spontaniously said "fancy going for a walk?"
Kara looked around, tired and wanting to go back and put her light-
bee on recharge. Instead she smiled and said "why not!"
***Outside, On top of the Dwarf***
"Efof, when someone asks you to go for a walk at 2 in the morning it
doesnt normally involve spending half an hour putting on a heavy
space suit, waiting for you to figure out where to put your extra
arms in yours, and trekking all the way out of an airlock half a
bloody mile up onto the top of a spaceship!!!"
"I'm sorry, but you didnt have to wear a suit as well!"
"Hey, if my light bee fails i'd rather it be stuck inside a
spacesuit magnetically attached to the ship rather than me slipping
off and ending up back there!" she pointed behind into space.
They got onto the top deck where all the exterior Blue Dwarf
buildings rose like skyscrapers from the ships hull into space. In
the distance was the domed Drive-room, and above a bright blanket of
stars.
"Oh Efof the view is beautiful!" Kara smiled and gripped one of the
Ffionians hands.
"This?" Efof wondered. "I was going to take you to see the solid
human waste distillation plant over there, you can see all the
little lumps get vapourised, its really cool!"
"No, I um... think we should just stay here!" she said
<Tag! To Kara or if anyone wants to embarass Efof on his date!>
--- In JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com, "Capt. Emerald"
<acerimmer1986@h...> wrote:
> Kara stared at the alien do his little varion of dancing. Kara
wasn't much
> of a dancer really. Actually she never really remembered anything
of the
> sort not involving a severe amount of drinking anyways. She
laughed to
> herself as she remembered her long off days on Red Dwarf. Every
time they
> went out it happened somehow she'd always be told about her time
on the
> dance floor but she never really had any recollections. Damn. She
had to do
> something.
> Kara didn't want to hurt Efof's feelings or anything. Maybe she
should have
> a few drinks? Nah...she had put that off but maybe it would be
nice. She did
> need a good time. She went up to the bar and ordered the strongest
drink,
> she wanted to get pissed as quickly as possible no matter what.
>
>
>
> Smeg On, Captain Emerald.
> "Fear me for I am a writer!(evil laughter)"
>
>
>
>
>
>
> >From: "Onion" <theonion770@h...>
> >Reply-To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com
> >To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com
> >Subject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Efof- "Corona Nightclub"
> >Date: Tue, 26 Aug 2003 20:53:07 -0000
> >
> ><snip>
> >"She kicked him in the nuts towards the wall...." where another
> >microwormhole took the flying pervy one somewhere else..
> >"Is that normal round here?" asked JBG
> >"Na...normally she uses her left foot.." said Dean rubbing his
> >head...
> >
> ><End Snip>
> >
> >Efof Yuwn'Kar with Kara McGellan
> >Corona Nightclub
> >
> >Efof and Kara watched as the scuffling broke out in the nightclub,
> >they were pushed away from the action and couldn't really see what
> >was going on.
> >
> >"Oh my Gods!" Efof screamed "Its one of those pub brawls that I've
> >seen on Earth's educational action movies!"
> >"You mean films Efof?" Kara laughed at the aliens still frail
grasp
> >of humanity.
> >"Yes!" Efof said excitedly, "but don't worry I've been paying
> >attention and I know exactly what to do to join in"
> >
> >He punched the guy next to him in the nipple.
> >"Ow you wanker! what was that for?!" the guy shouted back, hardly
> >phased by such a puny punch.
> >"Oh er… sorry. My mistake." Said Efof and put his hands by his
side
> >and looked away.
> >Kara laughed and wondered if she should put her arm around him,
this
> >was their first night out, and she didn't know how efof felt. He
was
> >very good at hiding his feelings.
> >She touched his arm...
> >"Ahh!" Efof spun around, Kara quickly retracted her hand and Efof
> >saw the bloke behind him. "I think that man just stroked my arm!"
He
> >whispered to Kara.
> >"Actually Efof…" Kara started but Efof had already turned around
and
> >started talking to the man.
> >"Erm.. sorry mister, this has happened to me before- I know you
> >humans sometimes have a desire for same-sex relationships, and
I've
> >had this problem before- I think its my hat. Well I just want you
to
> >know that I'm not like that."
> >
> >The bloke went wide eyed. "What?"
> >"Oh its nothing to be embarrassed about! My uncle Clarence was the
> >same, although he was born with both organs on his head. And an
> >extra arm. Funny that."
> >The man thought pulled a funny face and tried to put as much room
> >between himself and Efof as possible.
> >
> >Efof saw Jay and Phil being escorted out by some uptight
> >bouncers "Maybe we should go with them, they'll be on their own…"
> >Then suddenly a mini-wormhole opened up and Jay + Phil popped out,
> >straight from outside.
> >"Bloody useful these things!" Phil said with big grin and Jay
dusted
> >himself off, both of them setting aside their differences
> >momentarily, glad to be back in the club if only just to piss the
> >bouncers off.
> >They both waven middle fingers at the back of the bouncers heads
> >over the crowd and shouted "nyah nyah we go back iiiin!"
> >Which of course the bouncers couldn't hear until there was a dip
in
> >the music and one turned round.
> >"Oh shit!" Jay and Phil ran off into the crowd, blaming each other
> >and fighting even more.
> >
> >Dean came over with Jonny B Goode, who was looking slightly dazed
> >about his first night out on the Dwarf.
> >"Hey Efof, why are you drinking those pussy drinks?" Dean pointed
to
> >Efof's girly cocktail with a grin.
> >
> >"Its not, it's a fuzzy navel! Have they given me the wrong one?"
> >Efof looked around in confusion.
> >"No he means the type of drink silly!" Kara corrected him.
> >"Oh I see! Well I've got a new job in Parrotts as a barhand and
Owen
> >set me homework to taste all the different types of drink that we
> >sell."
> >"That's quite a challenge!" Said Dean, wondering if he should join
> >him just for the sense of achievement.
> >"Yes, I've already tried all the largers, ales, ciders, most of
the
> >spirits and something called a `tequilla slammer'."
> >"Woah Efof!" Dean patted him on the back. "I always thought you
were
> >a bit of a lightweight, and you don't even look half pissed! Well
> >done my man!"
> >
> >Efof went back to the bar and came back with another.
> >"Whats that?" Kara asked him
> >"Its called a gay astronaught!" Which made everyone laugh.
> >"Your really kept a straight face while ordering it?" Dean
smirked.
> >"Yes why?"
> >"Kara whispered something into his ear."
> >Efofs eyed widened.
> >"Like the man over there? And I… oh… well I have to try
everything!"
> >"And its not even alcoholic" Dean said.
> >
> >Efof took a sip and blinked. Then downed it all in one.
> >He blinked once. He blinked twice. He blinked quite a lot for a
few
> >seconds then swayed a little.
> >"That was really sugary…" Efof slurred and his smile grew.
> >"C'mon lets dance!!!!"
> >Efof pulled everyone to the dance floor and boogied away like a
> >gymnastic cat on speed.
> >
> >
>
> _________________________________________________________________
> MSN 8: Get 6 months for $9.95/month http://join.msn.com/?
page=dept/dialup