**ACTION** Deano goes Down

Dean had been talking in the bar to the new crew intake, when he had started
to scratch his head.
"Damn" he said to Johnny, "My head really..." <thud>
Well, Johnny B Good, the latest addition to the crew, didn't quite know what
to do when 2nd in command's of departments starting passing out on the
floor. Of course, those who knew Dean well would just have kicked him, and,
if that didn't work, whispered "sober" in his ear.
As it stood. John called the medibay and asked for an ambulance. The Medibay
promptly guffawed and said "What you think this is? The smegging Ritz?"
"He's 6'10 for smeg's sake!" replied Johnny, "How am I meant to carry him to
Medibay?
"<click-buzz>" was the reply, as medibay hung up on him.
<MEANWHILE - ON EARTH, IN PLANETARY GOVERNMENT INTELLIGENCE, A DISCOVERY IS
BEING MADE...>
"Sir?" said a subordinate to a superior.
"What?" he snapped back, spraying doughnut crumbs over the vicinity.
"You know our escaped prisoner? Colonel Mayhem?"
"The one that escpaed last year and is currently subject to a massive
manhunt? Well, womanhunt in this case."
"Yes. That's her. We've found her."
"WHERE?" The superior leapt up, knocking his box of doughnuts to the floor
and picking up the telephone.
"A space vessel sir. The JMC Blue Dwarf. A filthy mining ship full of morons
and space-core rejects. But it has a good lapdancing club in the seedy end
of the promenade.... erm... so i've been told"
"Arrange an arrest squad. Several divisions strong, she's dangerous and
needs to be apprehended. Come on! MOVE MOVE MOVE!"
The subordinate skittered out and started organising an arrest squad.
It lifted off barely 40 minutes later. The best that Earth had to offer.
<BACK ON THE DWARF>
Johnny staggered into the medibay, carrying Dean's comatose form and dumping
it on a bed. "Hello?"
"Now what?" said Keto, irritably, coming out of his office where he had
been planning an empire made entirely out of soft cheese. Not for any
reason, just it was better then the real paperwork he had to do.
"Dean's, umm.."
"So what? Do what we usually do?"
"What's that?"
"Put him on the floor please." said Keto, pulling on a rubber glove.
"What's the for?" said Johnny, placing Dean on the floor.
"It makes it look better when I do <THUD!> that." said Keto, savagely
kicking Dean in the ribs.
"Smeg. This might be serious dammit. Ok, I'll do a quick examination." said
Keto, sounding exhausted at the prospect. "Back on the bed."
Keto pulled out some equipment and started testing Dean for somethings and
not for others.
<BACK IN PARROTTS>
"Would Jay Chrysler, Phil Febuggure and Captain Whitewolf please come
immediately to the medibay." came over the intercom, the music cutting out
for the announcement's duration.
Phil, Jay and WW left the bar where they had been drinking, and lumbered,
weaved and walked (respectively) their way up towards the medibay.
"Whatttch?" slurred Jay.
"Oh god." said Keto, "You need to be sober for this." Then, he took a tube
of ointment out of his pocket and forced some down the throats of the 3
bystanders. Who promptly coughed, spluttered, gasped and then threw up on
the floor.
"Smeg! What was that for?" asked Phil,
"I was sober too!" said WW.
"Well, now you all are. Look at this."
Keto led them through to the operating room and showed them a sheaf of
papers, covered with numbers.
"Wow! You can right out a series of numbers." said Jay, irritably, "why'd
you call us up here."
"Well, this should be a 0. But it's a 1."
"Prizes for observation." said Jay.
"Well, what it means is that Dean here has something metal in his brain."
"Probably some shrapnel or something from one of the large battles that
we've all been involved in. Such as bar brawls...other bar brawls..."
"Well, I thought so too. Look at this." and Keto led them over to the
operating table, where Dean was lying, knocked out, with a series of tubes
lying around and in his body, and a gruesome looking instrument over his
head, which currently had a probe poking out of the machinery and up Dean's
nostril.
Keto indicated the TV screen.
"What's that?" asked Phil, staring at the image.
"I believe it's a microchip." said WW, staring hard at it.
"Correct." said Keto, "But, if I zoom in." He did so.
"My god!" said Phil
"Evil Keto & Cerebrum Miming Empires Inc." read Jay.
"So that microchip comes from the alternate reality?"
"It must do. After all, we didn't alter our timeline, merely adopted a new
one. So what happened there is still memorable and real." said Phil.
"Well, even so." said WW, pacing slowly. "Why don't you just remove the
chip."
"I can't. Not from the outside." said Keto. "It might turn him into a
gibbering vegetable if I get it wrong. Whilst I see no problem, Nurse
Starbolt would probably viciously attack me. We need to get inside of Dean.
Obviously this is impossible."
"What do you mean?" asked Jay.
"Well, for example. Get inside of Dean. Physically inside of him, and cut it
out from in there."
"That IS impossible." said Jay.
"No." said Phil. "A few alterations to the wormhole drive in my lab and it
could work. All we do is shrink the exit hole, and it should be compressed
when it comes out. We could shrink a Blue Midget and the things inside it
down small enough to get inside of him."
"Would it be safe?" asked WW, still pacing.
"No." said Phil, straight away. "No Guarantees."
"We'll continue this discussion with Niples." said WW, "He'll know best.
Let's go to his quarters. He's probably there still cleaning up after his,
ahem, party."
<IN NIPLES' QUARTERS>
They entered as seymour was scrubbing the floor with a hanky tied around his
head. "Damned stains wont come out!" he femininely moaned.
<after they updated the Ambassador>
"...so, you can see our problem." finished WW.
"I see." Niples sat down on the bronco. It promptly threw him over and into
the opposite wall. "Blasted thing." he muttered, getting up.
"Actually, there's a further complication." said Keto.
"What? It gets worse?" asked Jay.
"Well, my analysis of that chip says it was broadcasting a signal."
"Yeah, but to Keto & Cerebrum's Evil Empire. Which doesn't exist. No
problem." said Niples.
"Well, yes, but it's broadbasting on space frequency 782.57284" said Keto,
reading it off a piece of paper.
"So?" asked Jay
"I see where this is going." said Phil. "Space Frequencies within the 700 -
899 Range are reserved for governmental organisations."
"uh-huh?" said WW.
"Well, 750 - 809 are reserved for the prison department."
"So, you're telling me, that Dean is now broadcasting a signal to the prison
department?"
"Actaully, he's broadcasting as an escaped convict." said Keto, "We'll have
the marines down on us in no time."
"GET THAT THING OUT OF HIM NOW!" yelled Jay, and, whilst the others ran back
to the medibay, (apart from Phil, who went to the lab), Jay read out a list
of people to come straight to his office.
"Alota, Johnny B Goode, Keats, Jack, Kara, Canazza, and Tara."
When they arrived at his office, Jay let them in. "Ok, this is top secret.
You, along with Niples, Keto, Phil and myself are all to be shrunk down and
placed inside Dean to perform a ground-breaking medical manouver. Meet in
Phil's lab at 0500 hours..."
"Jay. That's been and gone. It's 7:32 right now."
"Ok, right, 0900 hours then. Ok?"
Dean "Oh, I'm comatose" Thomas
(Actually, Seymour helped. A bit. Maybe. Make it a JP :)).
<OOC: Ok, this is the action guys. Let's go go go!! Those of you on the
outside, don't worry! There's plenty for you to do too! See next ACTION post
for details!>