Soft Landings

Who: Canazza, Timmy
Where: The Promenade
When: Shortly after they, and a pile of rubbish fall through a small wormhole
the pile of rubbish landed with a thud on the ground, spreading over a 2 square yards of the promenade.
Canazza and Timmy followed closely behind it.
Luckily for them they landed on an old mattress that happened to have surfaced on the impact.
The promenade was rife with mini wormholes. Every shop entrance contained one, People were walking into McDonalds only to run back out two seconds later followed by a woman with wet hair and a towel, who seemed rather miffed.
Canazza decided to steer clear of that place. He decided to take a peek in Parrots.
Timmy, being thirsty for more booze, was already way ahead of him and Canazza had to run to catch up.
All of a sudden Timmy stopped and looked into a shop.
"What is it now you oversized Lego brick?" Canazza spat, nearly tripping over the droid
"Look" he gestured to the Army surplus shop. And sure enough, there was a man falling.
he was going in one wormhole, and exiting another directly above it, getting faster and faster, just inches above the astroturffed floor (it was supposed to look outdoorsy and rugged, but it just made it look like an under 18's football pitch)
Canazza walked up to the man.
"Umm... can I help?" He offered
"I..." he swooped by
"Feel..." he went by again
"Sick..." the man said, and he continued to fall
Canazza looked around the shop. It was an Army Surplus store, surely there should be something there to help him.
He ran about looking and found nothing that would gently break the mans fall.
That is, until he came across
"PARACHUTES!" he squealed with joy, only to be deflated two seconds later, "Used - One Careful owner, deceased" he read the sign.
"Bugger it" he grabbed the chute and tossed it to the man. "Put it on"
the man tugged the rip cord and the chute opened, it perfectly fitted inside the wormhole, which was lucky because a few seconds later it disappeared. The man landed with a substantial thud.
"Are you okay?" Canazza asked
"I've been freefalling for thirty minutes without a parachute over the same patch of air. I threw up after ten, how the hell do you think I feel?"
"I meant any broken bones?"
"I'm okay, the astroturffed floor cushioned my fall" he got back up and made his way out.
Canazza walked over to a computer terminal
"Holly," he said, "Can you please tell me what the smeg is going on, i've checked the wormhole drive and nothing's wrong with it"
"Dunno dave, Probably the wormhole drive... have you checked it?"
"uhhh... I just said, I did"
"Oh, right, sorry"
"How many wormholes are there on board"
"About 26" Holly stated, "Give or take a hundred"
"A hundred!"
"Give or take 26"
"Holly, is there a wormhole in your brain or something,"
"Yes" Holly replied, he blipped off screen for a moment, "About 2 million of them"
"2 million wormholes?"
"No, circuits"
"What about 2 million circuits?"
"Thats how many I have"
"This is pointless, you're pathways are corrupted"
"Pointless like a sharpened bush"
"Corrupted like a westminster politician" Canazza had a disturbing thought, "If you're circuits are corrupted, are we flying in the right direction?"
"Yes," Holly stated, "Straight into that Gamma Nebula"
"Umm... Aren't Gamma Nebulae lethal to ALL lifeforms?"
"Pretty much i guess" Holly blankly said, "I suppose that's the wrong way to go then?"
"Yes, just stop the freaking ship and go nowhere"
"I can't do that, need a navigation officer"
"right, locate Efof"
"F off yourself" Holly was offended
"Efof Yuwankar"
"Get lost" Holly blipped off screen
"Nutcase" Canazza turned around, "We'll have to check everywhere then"
"First place" Timmy said, "Is Parrots"
"Agreed"---===Dave Canazza===---