Niples "Embarassed Ambassador"

Ambassador Seymour Niples
Outside Canazza's quarters
There was a knock on the door and Canazza opened it. A figure
strolled in wearing a long trenchcoat (in good quality suede) and a
dark woolly hat that covered most of his face.
"Urm.. can I help you?" asked Canazza who looked like he just got
out of bed. In fact he had, and he was still wearing teddy bear
pyjamas.
Seymour took off the hat and coat and Canazza was hit by guilt and
fear, and started to look around for an escape route, but turning
his head that quickly made him too dizzy.
"About last night…" Seymour said with anger.
Canazza tried to run away but fell over a sofa, causing it to tilt
back. Seymour pushed the sofa back down again with his foot, causing
Canazza to bounce forward into a sitting position.
"Ok I'm sorry it wont happen again…" Canazza pre-empted his
apologies hoping it to soften the blow.
The Ambassador put his hand up to stop him and started to talk very
loudly, canazza cringed as the noise rattled his head.
"There are certain things that Royal Ambassadors must do to protect
the name and image of the sovereignty. And that… that mishap… or
joke last night was an insult to the Queen, the image of the Royal
family, and to myself!"
"But its true that the Queen is a slag…" Said Canazza, and Seymours
scowl made him shut up, realising he wasn't making it any better.
"On this fine Dwarfstar vessel…" Seymour reeled, but Canazza
sniggered. The ambassador actually agreed with that snigger so
started again.
"Oh the BlueDwarf I have worked long and hard to earn the kind of
respect than only one chosen to be a Royal Ambassador to the Queen
can aquire…"
"Yeah right." Said Canazza, then instantly realised he's said it out
loud and desperately tried to retract the words from the air. But it
was too late, Seymour was turning purple.
"INSOLENCE!!! I have the respect of an age-old tradition, its only
this ship is full of such uncivilized foul-mouthed morons like you
that tend to ignore this authority! But this is the chariot I have
been given and now people like you will not turn against me!"
"Eh?"
"I was made a mockery of last night, and you will be punished!"
"Just me? What about Dean, Jay, Phil and MP?"
"Ah, the other cretins in on this sick joke! Then they will be
punished too, and I will also let them know of your dishonourable
quickness to `grass them up'."
"Oh shit!" Said Canazza, realising what he had done.
A few minutes later, Seymour had called Dean, Phil and Jay into the
same room.
"Hmmm, now let me think of a suitable punishment… ah yes, cleaning
up my quarters from last night. A little too many people had been
sick- it appears someone had put alcohol in the punch…"
Dean whistled.
"And then you can polish my floors, and clean out the cupboards, I
had the unearthly disgust today of looking in my pantry and finding
a used contraceptive in my olive jar and a posterior print on a
squashed bread loaf, and then I could discuss with Captain Whitewolf
about a more ship-wide task, like painting the hull perhaps…"
Just at that moment Seymour's mobile phone went off to the tune
of `God save the Queen'. He answered it.
"Hello, ahh, yes. Yes, you coming now?"
The others were confused as a strange light lit the room, and a
swirling wormhole appeared in red white and blue colours. Dean, Jay
and Canazza thought it was something to do with the new wormhole
drive that had been fitted on the Blue Dwarf, maybe Zodar was in
Engineerings using it to get rid of MP. But Phil recognised it as
the one he had created for the Queen to use to travel backwards and
forwards to her favourite holiday destination, New Ibiza.
The Queen jumped through the hole and it closed up. She was still on
the phone to Seymour.
"Ahh welcome Ma'am!" Said Seymour still realising he was on the
phone even though she was in the room. He bowed. Everyone else did
enthusiastic nods while looking at the extremely low top the young
queen was wearing. Her nipples were showing through the material
too, hyperspace must be cold.
"I was just punishing these men for making a mockery of yourself and
my status ma'am." Said Seymour greasily.
"These guys?" Said the queen. "Awww but look at them, they wouldn't
hurt a fly!"
They all tried to do innocent faces.
"Especially this one," She turned to Canazza and ran her hand down
his cheek. "he's very cute. You wanna go to the cinema? Straight to
the back seat?" She propositioned.
"Erm…" Canazza looked around and considered the alternative.
"Yeah okay lets go!" The Queen took his hand and they danced off.
Canazza stuck his tongue out to Seymour as he passed.
"And let the others go Seymour, don't be a nasty pasty!"
Seymour scowled. "Yes ma'am." And pointed to the door. Dean, Jay and
Phil left the room eagerly before he changed his mind.