Hamsters and the Matrix on a low budget...

Who: Darth hamster, Jay and a surprise double appearance by MP...
Where: Somewhere in space between the Death jar and the two Bd's (hey,
It stills applies...)
When: Just as Jay put on the E.V.E. suit.
<snip>
White Wolf looked at his watch, then at Mini-Phil, who was now wearing
his 'discovery' over his face, White Wolf gave him a 'whats he doing?'
look. MP just shrugged.
"IF I didn't have one myself..." Jay's voice came from inside the
locker, just before the door was blown off its hinge and Chrysler
stood before the hamster in the E.V.E.1.
"Now this.... could be interesting..." White Wolf said.
<end snip>
Then the Death Jarrette drifted by followed by the Raven complete with
MP looking out the viewport and waving excitedly at them.
The Dark Lord glanced downward the 'discovery' wearing Mini-Phil
standing a short distance away from them and suddenly asked puzzledly
"How can that little turd be in two places at once?"
"Well, whenever we're in a alternate universe there's always two of
everything." replied Jay matter of factly.
"Ahh..." Murmured the Dark Lord knowingly for moment, before frowning
and then interjecting, "But that doesn't still doesn't explain it..."
"Ok, maybe this will!" exclaimed Jay as he leapt into the air aiming a
quick jump kick for the A.D.A.M. Suits chin.
As EVE's foot connected a heavy blow to A.D.A.M.'s chin, a black
clothed mime popped from out of no where and held up a cardboard sign
with the word ">SHA-BLAM<" on it.
The Dark Lord went, "opps - had it in the wrong mode!" As he flipped
open a small hatch on his left arm and turned a dial that labeled
"suit combat mode" from current "Champions, camp style" toward "Matrix".
Then he closed the hatch and started to jump into the air, and six
black clothed mimes popped from out of no where, grabbed him and
lifted him up into the air.
"Curse the Emporers Accountants and their damn budget cuts!" Hollered
the Dark Lord as he saw this, while throwing a punch at the E.V.E.
suits midsection.
The mimes holding him up rushed him forward, causing the A.D.A.M.'s
fist to slam into E.V.E. very hard. Whereupon another four black
clothed mimes popped from out of no where and picked up jay & the
E.V.E. suit and threw him hard into the wall, where it made a dent
showing the E.V.E. suits outline on the Phoenixs exterior.
"That little dent is going to raise your insurance premium!" Snarled
Jay as he manuevered the E.V.E. suit to extricate itself from the dent.
"Oh that's going to scare me!" goaded the Dark Lord as the six mimes
rotated A.D.A.M. suit in place as if it were doing a matrix like
paroette in mid-air.
Jay goosed the E.V.E. into grabbing one of the four Mimes in front of
it, and threw the mime at the Dark Lord, whereupon the three remaining
mimes caught the thrown mime and slowly guided him on by the
gracefully slow motion dodging A.D.A.M. was being guided out of harms
way by the other six mimes which were holding up the A.D.A.M. suit,
until one of the mimes stumbles, causing all them to fall and make a
loud crash as the A.D.A.M suit smashes into the opposing bulkhead.
Causing the mime that was holding the cardboard sign to quickly
scrabble out a word on the back side of it, and hold it up for Jay to
read, ">SA-Whoosh<" as he bounded over to grab the A.D.A.M. suit by
the throat.
"You broke the Booble head doll on my cockpit console! I'm gonna make
you pay my deductible for that." Screamed a furious Jay.
"Booble head?" replied a surprised looking Dark Lord, "Here, have my
Mime instead!" while grabbing the nearest mime by the scruff of the
shirt and thrusting the mime towards the E.V.E. suite.
"I want my deductible!" yelled Jay frothing at the mouth as the
E.V.E. suit backhandedly slapped the Mime aside.
A mime lawyer popped out of nowhere and quickly handed Jay a set of
court papers. Jay looked at the papers, "I being sued for Sexual
Harrassment?!?"
The Mime Lawyer pointed toward the Mime he'd so recently backhanded,
the Mime pulled on a blonde wig and made silent crying motions.
Apparently the mime was a she. The Mime Lawyer slapped another court
paper into Jay's hand, entitled "Addenium: And for Emotional Distress
& Mental Anguish"
"I didn't know that Mime was a lady!" explained Jay, "You can't sue
me for that." while continuing to throttle the A.D.A.M. suit
"Ok, how about this!" said the Dark Lord as he (with five mime
assistance) drew back his leg (matrix like), and kicked Jay in crouch.
Jay just stood there & smiled.
"He mustn't have any dingle berries..." Muttered Darth Hamster, "I
see it's time for me to break out the big guns." as he reached over on
his right arm, flipped open another small hatch and quickly punched a
button labeled 'Deploy the Numnuts device'.
"What in major Harris's name?!?" called out Jay as he involutarily
looked down as he heard a hatch in the A.D.A.M. suites crouch open up,
and heard a fast whirring sound as small cannon extended itself
outside the suit with small quick burning fuse, then when the wick
disappeared into the cannon it sprouted a flag that said "Ha! Gottacha!".
"Why you little gay Prick!" Shouted Jay drawing back his fist asnd
getting ready to punch Darth Hamster really hard.
"No, Prince is a little Gay, I'm just a prick..." replied Darth
hamster as another larger cannon slowly extended as all the Mime's
instintively grabbed thier crouchs and winced as it went off. The shot
blasted the E.V.E. Suit accross the Phoenix and into a cockpit window,
cracking it severely. Now the E.V.E. suit was clutching it's crouch as
Jay's eyes were crossed for a moment and was quietly muttering
something about Alota.
Darth Hamster snapped his fingers to disperse the mimes, Who popped
back into nowhere. "Essence of Midget..." Muttered the Darth hamster
grabbing up the oddly duplicatd MP and starting for his ship, the
Vicious Hamster, as Jay started coming around and yelled, "Smeg! You
cracked my Windshield! Hand over your Policy number, right this
instant!"
Darth Hamster merely grabbed MP's 'discovery' away from him and
finger snapped it into Jay's face before disappearing into the Vicious
Hamster, as Jay yelled, "Argh! Midget germs!" while clawing the panty
off his face, then after he pulled them off and looking that them,
"Hey! These are Alota's! No Lard butt gets to see my wife's underwear,
except me!" as he bolted after the Dark Lord.
Jay just made it to the hull breach in time to see MP excitedly
holding up a Alternate time line celebration issue of Playboy the
"Girls of JMC" who's cover had the Alternate Alota upon it, as the two
ships began to separate, with the Dark Lord now piloting his once
again. The Dark Lord called out to Jay while smirking, "Essence of
Midget, His horniness - Who would have thought? I may just keep this
little guy around yet."
The Vicious hamster pulled away for a second, then pulled back for
a moment, "See you in 1984, Mister Chrysler - If you can figure out
the time!" shouted the Dark Lord goadingly while indicating his watch,
and laughing mockingly and waving goodbye, then the Vicious Hamster
shot away in streak of colors.
<Tag!>
- White Wolf