Efof's long awaited bio

Name: Efof Yuwan’kar
Age: 451 Ffion Duplegs (About thirty)
Date of Birth: 56.405.79436
Species: Ffion
Weight: Heavy
Height: Five foot six
Interests: “Human culture” (Drugs, booze, sex and violent video games)
Desired Position: His experience at Ffion’s observatory means he knows a lot
about the layout of this area of space, and serves as a useful guide.
Appearance
Efof is like everyone from Ffion, incredibly good looking (to other people
from Ffion) He has four arms and two legs, between which he keeps his nose
(which he’s embarrassed about, it’s a bit bigger than he’d like) and has a,
um, err, trunk on his face. Due to his slightly different body chemistry he
is known to get a little, ah, disorientated by sugar.
Character History
Efof was born on Ffion, a paradise planet where war, crime, suffering and
disease were things of a bygone age, forgotten the same way humans have
forgotten how to wipe their arses without toilet paper (or a milk bottle
full of water).
Efof lived a happy life as the son of a professional meal-eater. Basically
because the farms of Ffion produced more than enough food for everyone,
something had to be done with the excess. Efof’s father’s job was to eat the
excess and turn it into valuable fertiliser.
Efof was going to be enrolled in the family business, but then he ran into
this weird woman who suggested he join the space agency. When Efof
discovered what space actually was he almost immediately rejected her. Life
on Ffion was good, everybody had enjoyable jobs where they fulfilled their
full potential intellectually and physically. Everything was perfectly
balanced. Ffion didn’t need religion because no afterlife could possibly be
any better than this one and by the time people died they’d already done
pretty much everything they ever wanted to do. If, as this woman suggested,
they Ffion contacted alien life, they’d probably only spoil everything.
However something about the job appealed to him. Boredom was a new
experience, and had a sort of novelty value to it. Eventually Efof joined
the mission and worked on Ffion’s only orbital space station. However he
never got to truly appreciate boredom because about a week late a fleet of
alien space ships came and obliterated his entire planet. In a desperate
attempt to escape Efof clambered into a stasis booth, which froze him
instantly.
Six hundred years later he was woken by the crew of Blue Dwarf and
introduced to concepts such as sugar, hard core porn, TV violence, smoking
and loud unpleasant sounding music. He loved every bit of it and joined the
crew without hesitation.
Personality
Efof loves his new life, although he can be a little naïve about Earth
customs, he loves everything about the human race, and is known to over
indulge slightly. Well, a lot actually. In his past life on Ffion Efof
hadn’t access to anything like it, and so every seedy, cheap, gluttonous,
unhealthy, sadistic, voyeuristic, tacky, perverted habit that humanity has
ever invented is for him a fascinating experience to be enjoyed to the full,
and then some.
Quote
“You should have seen where she wanted me to put my nose!”
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