A tale of 1 Canazza and 2 Canazza-like corpses

<snip>
Canazza jumped out into the doorway, bazookoid ready, charged with a shield-penetrating mime created invisible bazookoid blast.
The alternate, with mime-shield penetrating blaster, fired, at the same time, Canazza fired too.
One hit, one missed, and only one Canazza was left.</snip>
Who: Dave Canazza
Where: The Starbug
When: Several hours after the snip
Blue Dwarf's cargo bay doors opened wide, the green space craft shook violently as it screamed into the bay, Scorchmarks on the windshield virtually blinding any pilot.
The airlock door opened and A figure emerged in a cloud of smoke.
Canazza stumbled down the steps and collapsed at the bottom, one of the security team hurried over to him.
"Get a medical crew down here" he shouted to the others.
"my alternates, they..." He lost consciousness.
The medical crew arrived and carted his body away. One of the medical team spoke
"Is there anyone else in there?"
"I don't know" replied the crewman, "We should go in and see"
The two peered through the smoky gloom, there was something flickering through the smoke, a light of some sort. They made their way over it, but half way across the medical ensign tripped over something, he turned and bent down to see what it was, the face of the man they just carted off stared back at him.
"HOLY SMEG!" He stood upright again, "I think he's dead"
"That's nothing" The other one said, "I found a robot, he's still active, the light we saw was his head - OUCH!" he dropped it, "Sparking"
He fumbled on the ground and picked it back up again then handed it to the medical ensign, "kinda small, it's probably his head"
"Naw, Doubt it, there's legs and arm on it"
"We'd best get this to engineering" He turned and looked in the general direction of the corpse, it was enveloped in the smoke, "And clear out the smoke, there may be more bodies"
Several hours later, the smoke was cleared, a security team backed up with medical officers recovered the remains of two Canazza's, both of which were in the mid section, along with the decapitated E-45 and the deactivated Elwood who were in the hold. Engineering declared E-45 repairable, but they were unable to retrieve his Ram chip, so no memory of the incident.
Elwood is in repairs being oiled, Timmy on the other hand suffered another bout of amnesia, forgetting everything that happened that day, and in his words it was "a bit of a smegging annoyance"
When Canazza awoke the security team began piecing together the events.
Canazza's and Elwoods testimony confirmed that Donald was killed in self defence and that Canazza's alternate's twin was indeed an evil sod hell bent on taking over our timeline.
What was not confirmed was if Canazza REALLY was Canazza and not his alternate.
"I told you three times before" Canazza rubbed the bruise on his cheek where the interrogator struck him - by accident mind, he tripped and Canazza caught the flailing fist -"I fired, he fired, he missed, scorched the windscreen, my bolt went straight through him and shorted out half the systems"
"well" the guard said, "I don't think we are going to resolve this deadlock soon"
"Right" Canazza said, and having been in this situation before knew what was coming
"Protocol states I have to let you go" Canazza went to stand up, but the guard sat him back down again, "But, Space corps Directive 141b states that in the case of alternate realities or timeline anomalies where one cannot tell if a crewman is really who he says he is having killed off his alternate, they can be contained at the discretion of the attending officer"
"Smeg... why didn't you do that last time?"
"You didn't kill him last time"
"Surely because I know this happened before you can deduce that i'm really me and let me go"
"Nope, the alternate had access to the systems long enough to gather any information on Ensign Canazza from the moment he joined the space corps"
He felt like swearing but there was no way out of it. If he kicked up a fuss they'd suspect, if he kept quiet, they'd suspect.
The guard left the cell and locked the door.
Canazza did the only thing a person in that situation could do, he put his head on the table and wept. He'd been put on Punishment Detail, had his creations kicked about, fought to the death with two insane alternate versions of himself, mimed more times that he cared to imaging and not only that, but he's got nothing but a stay in the brig to look forward to, an indeterminable stretch where he'd be forced to stay in the company of inbred evil retarded sons of welsh farmers.
To be continued...Name: Dave Canazza
Status: Shattered, you have no idea how much work went into keeping this ambiguous.