The Raven lot

Who: Seymour Niples, Seymour Butts, Phil+BFG, MP, Alotta, Eve, Jack, Phil, Tara, Kyla and Keith
Where: on the Raven
When: After the Rebel Blue Dwarf jumped into the middle of the empires fleet
 
The Raven flew out of the rebel Blue Dwarf's hanger bay avoiding a constant stream of other friendly fighters that swarmed around for protection. Dean could have sworn out of the corner of his eye he saw Efof in one of the fighters waving frantically with a massive grin on his face.
 
Seymour Niples came into the cockpit, the others were congregating in the rather roomy midsection (to say theres a big f*cking tank in there!) while Seymour Butts tried to entertain them with his break-dancing.
"Good day there Mister Thomas, how goes it?" Seymour chirped.
 
"Erm.. not bad thanks, just heading us straight for the Death-Jar right now. We're pretty much on a bee line so I hope these guys can keep the clowns off our back."
 
Seymour was quiet for a few moments, watching through the windscreen as swarms of clown fighters started scrambling out of the attack-carriers.
"hmmm, they are a bit delayed- must be putting their makeup on!" Chortled Seymour then said. "ooh that reminds me, I havnt used any nail moisturiser today- look at how dry my cuticles are getting!"
 
A crackling came over the radio.
::Raven this is Blue Dwarf command. What is your status? Over::
 
Dean spoke back. "We're doing fine thanks, just about the encounter enemy. Most ships are keeping formation.... well, apart from one."
 
Seymour looked at the fighter Dean was talking about. It was directly in front of them weaving around like a dog walking in front of his owner waiting for him to catch up.
 
"Good Jove! Thats Efof! Whats he doing? Punch me through!"
Dean gave him the microphone.
"Look at me, look at me!! Wheeeeee" Efofs excited voice came over the radio before the Ambassador could even speak.
"Yes yes, we see you Efof, very good. Now pay attention, theres work to be done!"
"oh okay." came back a more sullen voice from the alien.
 
A group of clown ships shot first and flew to the left, another group fired and flew to the right. A group of rebel BD fighters split off to follow the first group letting the second volly of fire hit the Raven full on.
 
Seymour held onto the wall frame for support as the ship shook.
"Woah woah woah!" Yelled Dean through the radio, "give me some cover here!"
"I'm on it," called a voice, and from very close above Rio's fighter flew straight over them and dived downwards to follow the Clowns- guns blazing.
Dean had to steer away slightly to avoid missing her.
 
**Rio's fighter**
Rio hit the first clown ship with her lasers and its engines started kicking out black plumes of smoke. The ship skidded and went into a spin, allowing Rio the time to fly last and chase another. The Alternate BD fighters were amazing, agile and fast. She overtook the clown fighter she was chasing and flagged the pilot off with a hand gesture. He looked confused for a second and scowled. She rammed him, forcing his fighter to turn away. She forced him into a U-turn so that they were goingback the same way. She came up alongside the clown again and pointed ahead.
He clown was confused. He carried on looking at her as she pointed to something in front.
 
The clown looked ahead just before he smashed into the skidding fighter Rio had crippled seconds before.
Both ships exploded in foamy bubbles of custard.
 
**Efof's fighter**
Efofs fighter flew straight through the custard and got covered in it. He couldnt see a thing, and he soon found the weaknesses of these fancy-fighters, they had no windscreen wipers!
He carried on the same heading hoping that the custard cream would eventually wipe off. Space is infinate, what could possibly get in his way?
 
***Back on the Raven***
Alotta had come to the cockpit now to see what was going on. "Please try not to get us shot any more, I dont think Phil tethered his tank down well enough- its sliding all over the floor and scratching the walls..."
"Scratching the walls?!!" Dean shouted. "of MY ship?!"
"Yes, MP almost got squashed against the side when we were playing 'hide the midget', well we wern't really playing, we just wanted to keep him quiet."
"Please do the world a favour, and play 'hide the Butts'" Said the ambassador, referring to his less refined doppleganger.
 
"Are you two not getting on very well then?" Alotta assumed with a wry smile.
"Hardly, all the man talks about is 'fit' women, and how much ale he can drink."
"Oi! Thats all there is in life WORTH talking about!" Defended Dean.
"Plus he is a bloke..." Added Alotta.
"Am I not a ...'bloke'?" Asked Seymour, cautiously phrasing a term he never used.
"We're not sure what you are..." Dean said under his breath.
 
"The man has no goals in life, no asperations, no achievements..." Niples continued.
 
Suddenly Seymour Butts came running into the cockpit with MP at his heels. "Guess what?! I just realised I can belch the tune 'god save the queen'!!"
"What an achievement!" Alotta humoured him. "And its Seymours kind of music too!" she grinned at the Ambassador as he turned away in disgust.
 
"Oh my god!" Niples shouted, looking out of the window.
"That fighter with gunge all over it is coming straight at us!!!"
 
<OOC- Tag to anybody who can come up with an idea to save us!!>
 
================================David "Onion" BallAmbassador Seymour Niples, Blue Dwarfwww.BlueDwarf.co.uk================================