Absoloutly nobody was kung-fu fighting.

Who: Canazza and Timmy
Where: The alternate BD, roaming the corridors
It had been 2 hours since Canazza and Timmy (in Timmy#2) left the others in the Flight deck, and they had been continually blasting away clowns and bits of wall/floor/ceiling, dodging ointment and pulse blasts for nearly 1 and a half hours.
They had stopped at the living quarters to steal someone's portable Stereo and any music they could find.
Canazza turned the droid around another corner to face yet another line of commandos.
"What the smeg is this?" Canazza complained over 'ride of the Valkaryies' "It's like some kind of computer game"
"just keep dodging" Timmy said while reclining back, he had selotaped the fire button down and was listening to the music.
all of a sudden Canazza's view was obscured, one of the commandos fired ointment on the Plexiglas bubble canazza was looking through
"I CANT SEE!" he screamed,
"turn around then"
"Oh," Canazza turned around and made the droid walk backwards while looking out the rear of the bubble.
It was kind of pointless since in the confusion one of the commandos blew Timmy#2's legs away and they came crashing to the ground.
"Bugger," Canazza said, they were now immobile, and the only cannons working were the ones Timmy had facing forwards, "How goes it down there?"
"They're all dead, there are no more heading for our position"
"well," canazza said, "There are four out this side"
"Well, why aren't we dead yet?"
"They only seem to have hand-to-hand weapons, and weird black masks."
"oh, ninja clown commandos" Timmy realised he'd left the forward cannons firing and removed the strip of selotape. "That's good, all we need to do is find a projectile weapon and they're dead"
Canazza noticed something behind the 4 Ninja commandos, "we have to get to the locker first. I think I know how"
Canazza opened the hatch and they both tumbled out.
The ninja commandos advanced on them
"STOP!" Canazza ordered, "I am the imperial commander Canazza"
The commandos stopped,
"You're the alternate" Said one of the commandos
"What if he isn't." Said another one
"Behind you is my alternate" Canazza pointed behind them. They turned, and Donald was fiddling with one of the consoles.
"Okay, one of you MUST be the real commander" They turned back, and Canazza  had a bazookoid pack, Timmy had one trailing along the floor behind him.
"Wrong" The Commandos advanced again but Canazza and Timmy fired 4 heat seekers that completely disintegrated the commandos. Canazza ran towards Donald, who had seen the commotion and was running off. "I want to know what he was doing with that panel."
"y'know," Timmy said, "That was rather too easy"
"You're paranoid" Canazza dismissed.
"That wouldn't have worked unless..."
They rounded yet another one of the Dwarfs many corners and came face to face with a wall of Ninja commandos, a small fat ferret at their feet running around in circles.
Behind them stood Canazza's alternate, the REAL Imperial commander Canazza, holding a smoking (oozing?) ointment gun.
"... unless the real Commander was here"Name: Dave Canazza
Status: in deep smeggy pudding