COME ON YOU F@@@IN PUSSY!!!!

Who:- Jay, Tara, Phil
Where:- Original BD medi-bay
 
SNIP

"Okay...dont normaly do this...but our test show and i cant belive I'm saying this...is that we need to get him drunk...then the drugs will wear off quicker.."
 
"Ah" said The Cheat, who was nawing on kebab..."Not a good idea..."
 
"Well...he thinks he's Satan..."
 
"Satan we can handle...but we need him clean..." said the Pie, which then burst into flames.
 
END SNIP
 
"Strap him in a wheelchair and bring him up to parrots" said Jay to Tara "I'll go on ahead and order"
"And if Alota catches you in there when you're supposed to be working, AND might I add taking her out for dinner tonight"
"Thats tonight?"
"Yes"
"Um...well..it's vital for the well being of the ship isn't it..she's the captain, she'll understand!"
"Nicely rationalised"
"Thanks"
"You realise of course she wont buy it"
"Only too well"
WIldflower and Tara hoisted Phil into a wheelchair. Phil just dribbled and said in a deep british farmer voice "Would you loike to see moi puppies?" for some inexplicable reason.
"Ok" said Jay "Bucket of JD it is"
"I know..it's drastic but it should do the job" Tara said
"Its for me..I'm the one who's gotta put up with him in the bar like this! Trust me, if I get into the same state it'll be ALOT easier!"
with that Jay left for Parrots, ready to order up the first round
 
The corridor was dark.
 
Darker than usual in fact, Jay struggled to see in the darkness. He took off his sunglasses.
 
Still dark,
 
CLANG!
 
"OW!..son of a..." Jay whined grabbing his face in pain after walking headlong into an open maintenence panel swinging from the wall. "Who the hell? Man..Zodar's gonna hear from me..smegging engineers leaving HAZARDS lying around! None of my staff would be so smegging stupid!. well...except maybe Dean
He caught a glimpse from inside the maintenance hatch, "Hey.." he muttered "This is the ENV control conduit for this deck...someone's but the lights on purpose..."
"But of course!" came a voice behind him Jay turned and could just about make out the sillouhette of a ....something.
"Zo? Canazza?..did you leave this hatch like this?"
The figure just nodded. 
"Maybe you wanna close it?"
The figure shook its head as if to say 'no' then pulled out a spanner.
"Fix it..good idea" Jay said, the figure raised the spanner over his head,
"Wait.."
and swung it down toward Jay, who dived aside "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"
the stranger took another swing, Jay putting his arms up to defend himself. The spanner came down on Jays forearms with a crushing blow, "OWOWOW!! STUPID!!" Jay cursed himself, then dropped to the ground and swept the floor with his legs, tripping his attacker.
"WHO THE SMEG ARE YOU MAN?! You the guy who put phil in the medi-bay?..you mess with my friends...YOU MESS WITH ME!" 
his assailant said nothing in response, just reached up, grabbed Jay by the throat and pulled him to the ground, the stranger pushing thier foot into Jay's stomach as he did this, throwing Jay down the corridor with surprising force, Jay collided with the wall, and began to get up, his back to his attacker.
 
Mistake
 
Jay saw nothing, the corridor was filled with a loud WHACK.
 
Everything went black....
 
<Fine tim i'll smeggin do it for ya! TAG>
 
 
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