The Wotsit Thingummers that drive the Smegger

"Ok, rodger that Green midget 5, landing bay 17 is open, dock 4 please." said Dean, leaning over the comm console, and wondering why he, as current senior officer aboard the original Blue Dwarf, was acting as Air Traffic Controller.
For simplicity's sake, all the alternate Blue Dwarf's craft had been given the suffix Green and our's stayed Blue really.
"Blue Dwarf control, this is Green Bug 3 over."
"Green Bug 3 please state current pilot over."
"It's you you dumbass over."
"Hey Dean."
"Morning Skipper."
"Skipper?" Our Dean's left eyebrow rose a few notches.
"Why yes. Isn't that your nickname over here over?"
"Well...no actually over."
"Right, well, requesting permission to land over."
"Rodger that Green Bug 3, please ehad on bearing 263 at altitude bearing 107 for bay 6. Please join the queue for an avaible dock over."
"Wilco over."
"Oh, and when you get here, I'll meet you, I fancy a trip over to your ship over."
"Gosh, a poet too. Right, will do skip. Over and Out." came the voice from Green Bug 3.
 
Dean leant back from the comm, wondering what his alternate self was like. Wondering who he was in a relationship with. From what he'd heard so far, these thing were pretty messed up.
"CAPTAIN ON THE BRIDGE!"
Dean's thought's were interrupted by an ensign's bawling. Leaping to attention he whacked his knee off the comm console in front of and twirling aorund landing in the swivelly-seat with the broken castor. Rolling backwards, the seat slammed into Alota as she walked through the door and sent thm both flying into the Xpress lift. Hard.
 
Dean extracted himself from the lift door, before helping Alota out of the now broken plexiglass TV screen.
"Sorry?" Dean offered.
 
Meanwhile, down in landing bay 6, a Starbug MkIII, with upgraded everything touched down smoothly at Dock 1.
"You."
"You."
Dean and Dean gave each other a hug, before suddenly breaking off.
"Ahem, well, umm.."
"Let's pretend that didn't happen and empty your craft out eh?" said our Dean eventually.
"Good idea Skip."
"Skip." muttered Dean, trying not to mention the bush kangaroo.
 
<1 HOUR LATER>
 
"...and so! I told him, hey, jsut use this cardboard haystack instead!!!"
"You sure showed him!" said our Dean, in amongst fits of laughter.
"Hell yes!"
The Deans turned around to unload the next crate...
"Oh, we've finished."
"Right, how about that tour I was promising you?" said Alternate Dean, gesturing at the cockpit.
"Well, would you like to fly?"
"I wouldn't dream of removing from you that great pleasure. You're a man who loves his craft, I know. I'm the same."
"You see? You, you, you get me! Just like Vanessa!" said Alternate Dean, closing all doors and initiating retro's.
"yeah... what?"
"Hey Dean, check the backwards transistors are holding up o the frequency fluctuations ok, I had a minor problem with a current violation on landing and I want to know that the retrofitted bearing adjustment kit is up to scratch and won't short under too much pressure from the AGP."
"Woah, Vanessa?"
"Skip! The Transistors! Getting some bad readouts up here!" said Alternate Dean.
"Cor....so you and Vanessa are an item?" asked our Dean, before bending over what he termed "The wotsit thingummers that drove the smegger"."
"Of course, why, who you with?"
"Jas of course."
Alternate Dean looked blank.
"Oh you know, Nurse Starbolt. The one with the blinding red hair and the absolutely enormous..."
"Oh yes her...she has got rather long fingers hasn't she?"
"Well, imagine she needs them when helping with the surgery." said Our Dean.
"I suppose so."
 
<MEANWHILE - ABOUT 1 KLICK AWAY>
 
"Listen dude..just cos you let her get killed in your timeline dont mean its gonna happen here..shes tough, and the most lethal marine we have!" Phil stepped in before Jay lost his mind again. "OK GUY's ok...leaves one question, how are we gonna get the assault team TO the Death Jar?!" 
<END SNPI>
"Well..." said Jay, "there is one thing."
"What's that?" asked our Phil.
"Well, I'd have to clear it with Dean first."
"Clear what with me?" said Dean, swaggering into the room, arm around Vanessa with Dean walking on his other side.
"DEAN! VANESSA! DEAN!" Jay, seeing his sister, was now officially, on the brink.
"Oh smeg. Jay." said one of the Deans, "This is your dead sister Vanessa. Alive."
"Vanessa!" Jay looked at his brunette sister, his eyes starting to well up with tears.
"Erm.. excuse us just one second..." said Alternate Jay, "Dean? Come with me please."
"Certainly." said Our Dean, happy to leave the room.
 
Jay and Dean walked down the corridor. "Can we use your craft for this mission agfainst the Death Jar?"
"But of course." said Dean
"Excellent, go and prep the Raven, we'll ahve the teams down shortly."
Jay dissappeared down a side passage.
"Jay?" but it was too late, he was gone. Whistling wather worriedly, Dean continued down the corridor.
"Dean?" said Kara's voice.
"Yeah?" Dean turned to face the speaker. It was Kara, but alive.
"Hi, you're looking lost. Can I help?"
"Um.. yeah, I'm from the other ship and I'm looking for a craft. The "Raven" or something?"
"Oh, sure, come this way."
"Thank you."
 
<BACK IN THE CONTROL ROOM>
"I can't believe Charles did that." said Vanessa to Our Jay, "it's just wrong!"
"Tell me about it."
"What the?" said Alternate Phil, tearing his eyes away from the scene in front of him.
"LOOK!"
"Where?" said Alternate Dean, spining round.
"THE RAVEN!" yelled Alternate Phil, pointing out the front viewport at teh craft ahead of them.
"The whatty?" said our Jay, also looking at where Phil was pointing.
"THE RAVEN!" yelled Alternate Dean.
"Ok, no. Guys, watch my mouth. What is this you are talking about?" Jay talked slowly, like he was talking to dumb kids.
"What? We don't have one." said Phil
"One what?" asked Jay"THE RAVEN!" yelled Alternate Dean!
 
Dean "The Raven" Thomas
<OOCk, a few peeps know what the Raven is. Most don't... all shall be revealed. Oh, and 2 apologies. Firstly for not posting, secondly for thsi one being so long>