*Action post* We're not in Kansas Anymore

Who: Everybody
Where: Earth orbit
When: That's the tricky one
The Blue Dwarf reappeared in the orbit of Earth. Almost immediately the
command crew noticed some differences. For instance, bioscanners indicated
that the population of Earth was slightly higher than it should be. There
were combat ships of an unknown design in orbit. There were unusual space
stations in orbit. The planet Pluto was missing. Oh, and about forty tractor
beams locked on to the Blue Dwarf the instant it appeared, effectively
immobilizing it.
"I don't believe it, it's them," one technician in a control room on the
main command space station said to an officer.
"I don't believe it either. It might be a trick. Ask them if it's really
them," replied the officer.
"Yes, sir!" said the technician, then opened a comm channel to the Blue
Dwarf.
"Attention, vessel, are you, by chance, the JMC Blue Dwarf, entering service
on or around the year 2100?"
Alota was on the bridge, trying to sort out why in the hell they weren't
moving, when the message came through. "Who the hell are you?" she snapped.
"I ask the questions here," barked the tecnician.
"Yes, this is the Blue Dwarf. Now, answer my question, who the hell are you
and where the hell is the Space Corps Command?" shouted back Alota Chrysler.
"I'm Technician First Class Corporal Kowalski," he stated. "And-"
"Put me on, you idiot!" snapped the officer, interupting Kowalski. When the
camera oriented on him, he stated. "I am Colonel Sanders, commander of the
Earth Defense force. Though you already now that. You were an idiot to come
back here, Alota, you and your captain and every rebel moron onboard your
ship. Prepare to be destroyed."
With that, he cut the channel, and turned to Kowalski, visions of promotions
and commendations dancing in his head. "Ready the Death Jar."
"Readying Death Jar, sir!" said Kowalski, and activated microphone. "Ready
the Death Jar."
"Understood. Readying Death Jar. Death Jar ready."
"Death Jar ready, sir!" Kowalski stated to Colonel Sanders.
"Fire Death Jar!" roared Sanders,
"Firing Death Jar, sir!" replied Kowalski, then he said into his microphone.
"Fire Death Jar!"
A large object in Earth orbit rotated to face the Blue Dwarf. With a
completly silent burst of energy, since there's no sound in space, pistons
and pressure tanks activated. A large squirt of a yellowish substance spat
out of the front of the evil looking device, and smeared all over the side
of the Blue Dwarf.
"What was it?" demanded Sanders, eagerly. "Metal melters, bio-toxins, acid,
flesh eaters?"
"Let me check, sir," Kowalksi replied, tapping his compute keyboard. "Looks
like it was mustard."
"What?"
"It was being loaded for a test run when we gave the order."
"Then load it with something more lethal and fire again, damnit!" Sanders
shouted.
"Understood, sir," Kowalski said, and turned to do that, remembering to tap
a certain comm button first.
On the Dwarf
A pre-recorded message came in over the comm channels to the drive room.
"There has been a slight technical difficulty. We appologize for the
inconvenience, and assure you that we will be resuming your execution as
soon as possible. We hope that this minor difficulty we will not disuade you
from choosing Evil Empire Incorporated as your executioner of choice in the
future, in the unlikely event of you actually having one. In the meantime,
here's some music to entertain you while you wait."
Elevator music started sounding out of the speakers, and no amount of effort
could get it to shut off.