Re: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Niples-\"Fun in the sub\"

<SNIIIIIIIP!!!!!>
 
"Chill!" Said Jay looking on his WAP phone. "according to this online history book this sub was supposed to be taken over by Russians, and sail to England where it was sunk by depth charges from the Ark Royal off the coast of Bournemouth. So all we need to do is sail to England, bail with the nuclear particles we have to collect and then watch Saturday morning TV in England for a while until we get picked up. Jobsagoodun!"
<End Snip>
 
Jay flipped his phone shut and slipped it back in his pocket. "The reactor's about 5 decks down, at the aft section, question is how are we gonna extract the plutonium?"
"Rubber gloves?" Efof suggested.
"Relax!" said Eve, and reached into the backpack she was still carrying, "I have a little gizmo for just that job" she pulled out a weird looking instrument "See, just insert this end against the reactor and it'll extract the plutonium without us ever coming into contact with it"
"Excellent" Tara said "Now all we need is to get past the guards without being noticed..."
"Easy.." Jay said
"Easy?! EASY?!?!?!" Tara said "How in god's name can you call this easy?"
"When you live with Alota, when she's in a bad mood nothing else seems like a challenge" Jay mused.
"Ok..I'll give you that.." Tara put in "But you gotta admit this aint exactly gonna be a wlak on the promenade.."
"No It'll be easier" Jay replied "We won't have to pull you out of every store on the way!"
"Oh shut up.."
Jay looked at Eve "Do you have any 22nd century weapons in there?"
"As a matter of fact I do" she said and pulled out two handguns. Jay took one, and tossed his rifle to Efof. "If we use these, they've got nothing that can match us for firepower"
"Oh my" said Seymour "We cant use blasters, not here!"
"Why not?" Jay said "Just be careful not to blow a hole in the hull, no different to using them on BD"
"I mean we cant use these in front of the people on this ship, we can't let them see 22nd century technology, think of the effect it could have on the future! Imagine, the russians could copy it and conquer the world! We may never be born! They could destroy the galazy as we know it! They coul..."
 
SLAP!
 
Jay slapped Seymour.
 
"Seymour...I told you not five minutes ago that this sub is destined to find itself on the bottom of the English Channel, in less than three hours, no-one will survive, not even the ships parrot"
"THE PARROTS GONNA DIE?!" Tara whined "WE CANT LET THE PARROT DIE!!!!"
 
It was about now Jay tried to induce a coma by repeatedly hammering his head into a bulkhead.
 
<Tag>   

----- Original Message -----
From: Onion
To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, May 30, 2003 4:10 AM
Subject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Niples-"Fun in the sub"
Seymour, Jay, Efof, Eve and TaraRussian infiltrated subMiami dock<1980's Saturday morning going live snip>"Well then theres only one explanation..." Eve said"This sub has been hijacked by the USSR!""Anyone speak russian?" Seymour asked.Everyone shook thier heads."This is gonna be tougher than I thought" Jay said. "Smegski...."<end 1980's Saturday morning going live snip>Whilst the others debated what to do about preserving the timeline, Efof wandered off into another room on the sub. It appeared to be a control room with lots of televisions.Efof quietly changed the channel to something more interesting and sat cross legged on a swivvely chair. The program on was called "big-bertha" and seemed to be about a large machine with eyes that made toys. Efof was confused, was this machine alive? And it was being forced to excrete objects of entertainment for human children? Things like this really made him wonder about the human race.Suddenly two officers walked in behind him, from their angle Efofs extra arms were hidden. With a thick American accent he said: "Hey man, the radars picking up British TV programs again? Hehe, crazy Brits, I saw this show on the other day about a guy called Timmy mallet hitting kids over the head with a big spongy hammer… crazy brits… hey, is the A-team on?"Efof realised that he shouldn't reach up to change the channel because his extra arms would be shown."No, put Alf on!" said one of two more guys walking in from another door. The accent was slightly more Russian. "Alf is funny guy, he has big nose like American…erm…like WE Americans!""A-Team is so much better!" said the yank, getting on his proverbial high horse."Ahh maybe you want to be cool like Mr-T. Foo!" said the more Russian guy.The yank stepped closer, his friend tried to pull him back but it was too late. He punched the Alf fan. "I'm no foo… erm I mean Fool!"The man Efof suspected was Russian pulled out a gun. Efof watched in amazement and curiosity as if he was watching a movie. He even reached for the American chocolate bar on the side, but after a bite realised that American chocolate was disgusting."listen comrade!" spat the Russian. "Ve vere going to wait until later, but now is a good a time as any- we are taking ower this nuclear wessel!"The American pulled out a gun too, but was shot and went down. The second yank shot the original Russian as the second got out his gun. The Russian was punched in the face, then the American was pushed backwards, in the scuffle Efofs hat was knocked off his head revealing his… bits.Both the Russian and the American looked at each other in shock and confusion, and almost gagged and immediately thought it better not to look straight at it. Then just shot each other.Seymour and Jay ran in. "what was all the noise?" jay was ready with the machine gun he picked up, and Seymour was ready with fisticuffs. "Oh dear God Efof, cover yourself up!" jay and Seymour tried to look everywhere else but Efofs head. Tara and eve just giggled like schoolgirls until Efof pulled the hat back over his head."They're all dead" said Tara."thanks for the expert medical opinion" Jay said sarcastically."Did you interfere at all?" Seymour asked. "we don't want to have changed history at all""erm..well…I changed the TV program…." Said Efof. Charlie chalk was now starting."Nooooooo" Seymour dramatically fell to his knees. "We have killed all of the hijackers! We may have changed history as we know it!""Chill!" Said Jay looking on his WAP phone. "according to this online history book this sub was supposed to be taken over by Russians, and sail to England where it was sunk by depth charges from the Ark Royal off the coast of Bournemouth. So all we need to do is sail to England, bail with the nuclear particles we have to collect and then watch Saturday morning TV in England for a while until we get picked up. Jobsagoodun!"<I want to carry on, but its 4:10am and I need sleep!>JMC's  best....brightest....the most drunk.....www.BlueDwarf.co.uk-Your number one resource in all things Blue Dwarf related,Take the Blue Dwarf Quiz now!To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:JMC_Blue_Dwarf-unsubscribe@egroups.comYour use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.