Ointment!!

Dr Keto walked into the main medical room after checking the giant
boiling vat once more. Casting his eyes around once, he began to
turn and head back when suddenly his eyes registered somebody sitting
patiently (hah...forgive the awful pun) on a chair by the door,
holding a medical examination registration form, as well as the
medical bay's only pen.
Smiling benevolently, Dr Keto headed over towards the man.
"Yes," he asked, "Can I help you?"
Zack looked up at the doctor's approach, then handed him the form
as he replied, "Uh, yes, I'm here to get a medical rep..."
"Ah yes, yes, I see you've filled in the correct procedural forms,"
nodded Dr Keto, ignoring the man. "Please, follow me."
Zack shrugged and stood up, following the doctor deeper into the
medical bay. Eventually, they reached a clinically-white room (one
of the few decent rooms in the medical bay) with a screen and an
examining table.
"Now, if you would like to lie on that table," directed Dr Keto,
"And the procedure will begin shortly."
With that, the doctor left the room. Zack looked around briefly,
then slightly uneasily lay down on the medical table, wondering
whether or not he should get undressed first. He wondered exactly
how thorough the examination would be - with the detail that those
forms went into, it was possible...
Zack's musings were interrupted by a computerised voice announcing,
"Optimisation Procedure beginning in ten seconds..."
"Optima-what?" asked Zack, puzzled. He sat upright, then felt
immediately worried as a section of panelling above his head opened,
revealing a complex network of tubes ending in a series of nozzles
pointed at his head.
"Uh..." he managed.
"Optimisation procedure beginning," announced the computer, and a
rumbling filled the walls. Zack opened his mouth to scream, but then
suddenly he was drenched in a mixture of every liquid imaginable,
streaming from the pipes above his head.
After what seemed like an eternity, the flow was cut off. Zack sat
there, dripping, as the panel retracted.
"Optimisation complete," announced the computer, "Please refill
ointment vats to repeat."
Dr Keto walked in, and smiled at the astonished Zack.
"Feeling better?" he asked.
==============
NRPG:
I'm guessing the answer is "no"? :)
P.S. Don't worry, none of those ointments were dangerous. Much.