EAT HIM!

Phil nodded, then eve pressed the accept button.
"DNA seqeunce modified and orginal pattern stored..."
The tube slid up and the new form of Phil came into view...
<END SNIP>
"Christ!" exclaimed Dean.
"Well, no, actually, a pile of manure." said Jay, trying not to laugh.
"Indeed." Amber started sniggering, "Hey dad?" she said, waving tentatively at the manure, which responded by throwing itself on her.
 
It was at this, rather, inopportune moment, that a certain cold, half-insane miner by the name of Keith staggered into the room.
"I knew it! I'm insane, I'm looking at a pile of manure trying to kill a young girl. I've cracked!" he said, falling against a wall.
"Well, no, actually, that's her dad." said Dean.
"And now you're trying to convinve me this is normal? What more proof do I need?"
"Well, actually, for the BD, on the 'Weird Shit-o-meter' this is pretty low, wouldn't you guys agree?" said Andy
"Hear, hear." murmered the crew.
"Well," gagged Amber, "when you've quite finished, get this pile of yak droppings off me!"
"Oh, yeah, sorry."said Dean, and he and Jay rushed forward, and hauled the lump of manure off Amber.
"That's a bad XO!" said Jay, wagging his finger.
 
"Right," said Eve, "Hang on, now, much as I hate to say it. Dean was the last person to use this machine, and also he's now smart. So, Dean? Help me use this machine."
"Ach ja." said Dean
"And stop speaking German! We know your smart due to some feat of DNA Modification, but don't rub it in. Now, what do these buttons do?"
A rather comical raspberry noise filled the air, followed by a whistle then a pop.
"What did you say Dean?"
"I said........I can't speak German anymore!"
"Damn, you mean the effects are only temporary?" said Jay
"Looks like it."
"Hello ladies and gents." said Canazza walking through the door, and looking completely unfazed at the pile of yak dung.
"Well." said Dean, "let's see if I can remember anything."
 
"Yellow....Green......Blue.....Orange!" said Dean, ending with a flourish.
The tube shot down, and whited out, and the pile of manure was hidden from view.
"Let's see what happens."
 
The tube stayed white.
 
"What's going on in there?" asked Eve, rather worried.
"I don't know, but I reckon we let it finish." said Jay, "but I wish it would be quick, I'm getting hungry."
"I'm famished." added Dean,
"Hey!" said Alota, "We're in luck, it's starting to clear I think."
"Is it?" asked Kevin, having finally realised he wasn't hallucinating, but realising that he was smegging hungry...
The tube lifted, and Dean, Jay and Kevin all through themselves at the resulting lifeform, "HELP!" yelled Phil.
Amber, Alota, Canazza, Eve, Tara, Keats and Jack all finalyl managed to pull the 3 away.
Pull the three away from Phil.
Pull the three away from Phil the toastie.
Pull the three away from Phil, the cheese and ham toastie.
"EVE!" yelled Alota, struggling to hold back teh ravenous Jay, "CHANGE HIM!"
 
Dean "Toatie!" Thomas
 
OOC: Welcome Kev! Have a ball. We're all nuts, and this is fairly normal for teh BD actually...