Stickytape and Coathangers

OOC: Sorry I haven't posted much, I've been busy with school and personal projects. This is Take #2 of this story, which failed to go out because I'm in AOhelL - that period when AOL just won't stop &%"£ing crashing
Who: Canazza
Where: A random Starbug
When: A short time from now in a Galaxy quite close to here (this one infact)
"Must endure cramped compartments for hour on end wasn't in my job description" though Canazza, as he crawled through a cramped compartment in the 'Bugs engine room, then he though "Wait... it was"
For the past few days, since the Dwarf was destroyed, Canazza had been assigned the duty of checking a number of Bugs and cataloguing their inventory, crew manifest, fuel and checking their key systems.
Right now he was in a trailing vessel who's speed was marginal to say the least, and was falling quickly behind the rest of the group.
He reached the end of the compartment and looked through the viewing hatch out into the fuel injector. It was virtually empty, the flow-control valve seemed to be jammed in position.
the intercom crackled "Have ye found our problem?"
"Yes, I have, Your flow control valve is jammed"
"our what now? Can ye fix it?"
"Well, there doesn't seem to be any physical obstruction, so it must be the controls, hang on, I'll check the Relay junction"
"Yarr, I sent one of my boys down to take a look at it, he said he'd fixed it but he didn't" Canazza flipped open the panel
"Well," he let out a breath, "That's because it's held together with Stickytape and Coathangers"
"Aye, and? I though that would work"
"Well, METAL coathangers maybe, not Plastic ones. Luckily, I have some materials in here that should do the trick" He rummaged around and pulled out some old Tea Cake foil wrappers and started making them into strips and using the stickytape to secure the relays. Strangely enough though, all of the connections he made were to the life support systems, which he had already bypassed earlier.
"Okay, Fixed" Canazza turned to the viewing port and waited to see the fuel-flow increase
"It's not working" the man said over the intercom
"It should work" he rotated round to face the panel again and prodded a few things, "okay, try increasing speed now"
"How do I do that?"
"You mean... you don't know how to increase speed?"
"No, None of us know how to fly"
"So... why were you expecting the ship to go faster"
"It's all automatic isn't it? the ship launched by itself, it set a course by itself, ofcourse, one of my shipmates spilled a cup of coffee on it... then it started going slow."
"Hang on, I'll be right up"
Canazza left the tube, and headed for the cockpit, he was hounded by strange looking people dressed in various gear, from Cabin-boy to Sword wielding Pirate, all wanting to know if he wanted a drink.
He entered the cockpit, someone was already in the pilot seat so he sat in the co-pilots seat.
"yarr." Said the man, Canazza noticed a distinct look about him, black hat, black coat, black eyepatch, ginger beard.
"Hi"
"HA HARR!" said the man, who leered at him, showing his one single gold tooth
"oh... You are either a bunch of Waiters from Parrots or..."
"Or?" said the pirate
"...Or, you're a bunch of bloodthirsty space pirates"
"CORRECT! HA HARR! We were all waiters at that old bar, but now we are free do be Pirates! No more ship, no more rules! LET THE LOOTING BEGIN!"
"Unfortunately, you're all morons"
"But we have you, You can fly the ship, let us go on raids and terrorise the other refugees."
"Make me" as soon as the words came out of his mouth, Canazza wished he could suck them back in as ten pirate people surrounded him with swords.
"Look out Blue Dwarf crew, Gingerbeard is coming" Canazza was jabbed in the ribs. he turned to the controls and lay in a course for the trailing ships in the pack.
<tag anyone who 'wants' to get raided and pillaged>Name: Dave Canazza
Status: It's been a while since i've taken my pills