Yahoo went screwy: She's Back, but we still have a problem.

OOC: Once again, Yahoo's system of e-mailing posts is running a few days behind schedule, I only JUST received "Mission: Boned" from Phil despite it being posted yesterday. And this, rather rubbishy state of affairs has led to 2 conflicting posts (as it always does, bummer eh?) Still, as I'm a good Samaritan, I'm going to attempt and combine the posts, (aren't I nice?), anyway, so, what follows is a combination of my post "She's Back! Damn." and "rambomageesh's" post: "Ummm, we have a slight problem..."
 
Chris
 
Ahem: Post Begins:
 
""This is the Dean Thomas who crashes everything, the dean thomas who has nearly killed me several times by hurtling space bugs towards the drive room, the same thomas who i'd liked to slap with a wet kipper then by him a drink as an apology"
"Er...I guess so ma'am"
"Then patch me through!"
<END SNIP>
"Righto, just give me a minute here..." John said, looking at the console in some distress,
"Hurry up, i need to contact him NOW!" Alota yelled, the famous anger once again spouting forth."That may be slightly difficult, we seem to have a slight problem......or not." John added, as Dean's face flashed up on the comm screen.

"Just what ARE you guys doing over there? You've been zooming all over radar screen! You left the rest of the fleet a few klicks back, you going to rejoin us? Who's piloting that ship anyway? And..oh hang on, very funny." Dean could be seen to get up from his seat in the cockpit and head back to the midsection.
"Who put the hallucogenic drugs in me beer. Come on! I just saw Alota upright."
The only reply was a drunken roar, it seemed the big TV showing Phil, Jay, Kara, Amber and Rufus' exploits was a big hit.
"Sorry about that Tara," Dean said turning back around. "Just tell me, is Alota actually standing next to you?"
"Yes she is." said Tara, "ALOTA! NO!"
Alota had just attempted to slap the comm screen with a wet kipper.
"Well, good to see things are still normal around here." said Dean, "unfortunately, much as I would like to relinquish command to you so that I can go and get bevvied, as you've not been certified fit by a doctor I can't."
"Well, the least you could do is inform me what's going on."
"Alright," said Dean, "But ONLY when you put the kipper down AND if'd you'd be good enough to tell me who those gentlemen standing next to you are?"
Alota dropped the kipper and John looked down at the console of the ship, the homebrew had eaten away at the navigation panel, the scanner was giving off strange squggling noises and the lights were flashing and fizzling more than Mettalica Concert. He moved to try and hide it from his new superior's view."Well," said Tara stepping in to view whilst Alota dropped the Kipper into the new hole in the console. "This gentleman here is John Keats...."
"Hang on." Dean started to rifle through some files, "Oh yes, you just joined the crew didn't you? Well, welcome aboard, I'm your direct superior, I'm second-in-command of the Navigation department..."
"It's ok," said Alota, "we don't know how he managed it either."
John looked at the console, then at Dean, and decided that as he was his new superior he should try to make a good impression and own up. "The Consoles had it sir, im afraid i doubt we'll get anything other than third degree burns from it now..."
"What? You could get something else from it before?"
"Yes Dean, that console is actually a science console, it does things."
"I'll take your word for it."
At this moment, Jack stood up, probably ending a vicious conflict with himself. "Umm, i.. i.. i think i can do s-s-something with the console, sirs and ma'ams""Who the hell is he? Where'd he come from?"
"That corner actually." said Tara, pointing.
"Oh. I see. Well, do your best, if you can fix it it means Jay'll shout less.
"Where is my husband anyway?" asked Alota
"Hang on." Dean could be seen fiddling behind the camera,
"Thomas! What are you doing?"
Suddenly, the camera popped off it's stand, and Dean lifted it up and took it through to the midsection.
"Look at the TV. See those guys?"
"Dean, I've told you before! No cartoons when you're on duty!"
Dean doggedly continued, "Bender is Jay. Jay is currently in the AR machine trying to bring Captain Cannon to justice. In there with him are Phil as Homer, the Powerpuff girl is Amber, Rufus is currently Martin the Martian and I've no idea who the other is. hang on."
Dean shouted to the group sitting drunkenly around the screen, "Who's the little robot?"
"Kara!" came the reply.
"Well, that's fairly self-explanatory." said Dean to the camera.
"Indeed." said Alota, "Now, more importantly, why are they chasing down the former captain of the Blue Dwarf? Where'd he come from?"
"I have absolutely no idea, ask Holly."
"I'll do it as soon as we get back to the Dwarf." Alota said, tapping herself on the head, as she made the mental note.
"Aha..." said Dean, walking back towards the cockpit.
"Aha what?"
"Well, XO Chrysler ma'am, that could be tricky."
"How?"
"Erm... Tara you want to explain?"
"No I'm good thanks. You're doing fine." Tara smiled, rather evilly.
"Oh thanks. Well, the BD doesn't, erm, well, it's, erm... non-existent."
"You mean stolen?"
"No, gone. BOOM! exploded! But all for a good cause."
"What cause is better then my home?"
"The safety of the Earth qualify?"
"It would do."
"Good. Basically Evil Jay came back with the Hymo-thingummies, you know, those evil bug type things and they tried to wipe out the planet with an extra-large version of one of Phil's creations, and the only way to stop it was to crash the Blue Dwarf into the "Death Ray" as we now call it. Unfortunately it exploded."
"I wish I was back in the coma now."
"You're not the only one. I was on the bug-ship with Captain WW when Evil Jay stabbed him with a big stick-type thing, oh you know, a, erm, medieval type thing!"
"A sword?"
"That's the one. And so we brought his body back to the dwarf but I'd barely landed before having to take off to defend the ship from an invasion of the hymo-wotsits, with WW's body still onboard. I think it's somewhere in the deep freeze actually."
A scream could be heard from Jasmine Starbolt.
"Yeah, it is in the deep freeze, I remember now."
"Dean that's sick."
"Well, better then having it decay in front of you." said Dean, stating the obcious.
"Point."
Jack stood up from where he had been huddled over the console, "It's ready for activation."
"Are you sure that cutting of the plumbing an rerrouting it through this small cocktail of wires and components will really repair the comunications, and also pick up ham radio??""Not as sure as i was 5 minutes ago!" Jack admitted, "Ok, let's swith her on."
"..pare to be boarded, you are under contr.. <crackle, fizz, crackle> ..en december, please have all identif.. <crackle, phut, fizz> ..upon boarding, repeat, you have been captured by gre.." At this moment, a large globdule of solder from the circuit gave in, and the circuit cracked into several pieces.
"Did you hear that too?" asked Dean, after a slight silence among the assembled gang.
"Unfortunately yes."
"Ok, guys, listen, we've got your co-ordinates, we're coming over, whatever happens: DON'T LEAVE THE SHUTTLE! And that's an order!"
"Great, now I'm taking orders from Dean!" added Alota, "THings really are going downhill fast."
Dean "The Good Samaritan, and all round post fixer" Thomas
<OOC: A note to newbies, but old ahdns would do well to listen to: Yahoo's e-mailing system is quite often up a certain geographical feature without a certain instrument, and so we'd all do well to check the site regulalry for posts, instead of relying solely on e-mail.>
 
<OOC: Actaully, now I read that, it sounds very authoritarian. It's not meant to, oh well. Damn.>