Captain 'Silly Putty' and his faithful sidekick... 'Bonehead'.

When: Before the Big >*BOOOOOOMMMMM*<
Where: In the corridors of the Blue Dwarf.
Who: Captain White Wolf the Deceased, and one of his inanimate fellow
friends.
<Snip>
Holly has Dean been licking your floppy drive again?"
Jay grabbed the comm unit, ignoring Holly "Rio, I need you guys back
aboard, we gotta evacuate.."
"Oh yeh..White Wolf wants you to do that too.."
White Wolf was at this point standing directly in front of Jay waving
his front legs around trying to make Jay at least catch a glimpse of
him.
"Holly" said Jay, "make sure you complete this course correction
exactly.." he pointed at the nav com as he said this, White Wolf
leant over curiously to see what Jay had programmed, then felt the
Blue Dwarf move sharply. Jay took to the corridors and bolted for the
shuttlebay. White Wolf followed.
</Snip>
As the huge hamster was following, for some odd reason he tripped
again, and flew head first through a bulkhead. After seemingly an
eternity of helplessly flailing and falling through insubstantial
deck after deck, the Ghostly hamster crashed to the deck of the
landing bay.
"Feck - I'm never complaining about the ride in express lifts again!"
muttered White Wolf as he sat up and then quickly yelped "Holy Smeg!"
in surprise as he noticed his snout was bent at a bizarre angle while
looking at his reflection in the chrome alongside the take off
runway.
Then a Blue midget taking off suddenly hit him, and he thumped back
to the floor again with his whole left side of his body flattened
from the impact. The ghostly hamster stared at his mishapen form in
the chrome and lamented, "What the smeg's happening to me?!?"
"You have nothing to worry about Captain, You'll return to normal in
your own time. You just have to get used to being a fragged person."
Said Holly from a nearby wall monitor.
The huge hamster involuntarily shook himself and in almost cartoon
fashion reformed back into his normal hamsterish form and asked, "You
mean I've become some kind of Ethereal version of a hyperspatial
geomorphic ectoplasmic entity?"
"Yes Captain, your a hyperspit- Hyperspatula... Silly Putty person."
Replied Holly.
The titan hamster glanced up at the approaching obliterator through
the open launch bay doors, then around the empty launch bay and
quickly asked with concern, "Aren't you supposed to be getting off,
Holly?"
"The lead mainframe programmer said he'd be back for me as soon as he
made sure everybody else has evacuated the mainframe area."
White Wolf frowned and exclaimed, "He left you behind?"
"I thought that too for a moment, when he got into the Blue midget.
But when I asked him if he was intending on leaving me behind, He
gave me a hand written note of assurance that he would be back right
after he refueled at Alpha Ceti fifteen."
"He ditched you."
"He did not. He said if you can't rely the word of JMC officer, who's
can you rely on? Perhaps, I could turn the blue dwarf away from Jay's
ordered collision course if you like."**
"No need to do that, hol. Just maintain your course as he ordered.
Um, did everyone make it off the ship?", said White Wolf as he
quickly changed the subject and rushed to the nearest express lift.
"I believe everybody, except us and some mechanoids who just went
into the movie theater." Replied the bald AI.
"Cripes, You've got to tell them to get to a Starbug!" Exclaimed
Whitewolf.
"They already are."
"Oh good! Um, would you ask this express lift to bring me to the
central mainframe room for me Holly?"
"Sure thing, Captain. Are you coming to play a game of horseys and
pawns?" Asked Holly.
"Fine, fine. Is allie & Sam off the ship?" asked the anxious hamster
waiting for the lift to arrive at it's destination.
"Allie is. But Sam's still in your pc in your living quarters."
replied the obtuse AI, "Do you want to play white or black."
"um, You choose. Ah, would you do me a favor and transfer Sam over to
the Mainframe of the Starbug that the Mechanoids just got into?" Said
White Wolf as the lift came to a stop and he bolted through the
central computer areas main fire doors.
"Okay. It's done. Would you like to have some cookies & tea with our
game?"
"No thank you holly - I'm not hungry right now. Would please lock
down all the fire doors on the level?" Asked White Wolf glancing at
screen which showed the Obilerator mere seconds away from impact.
"Why?" Asked the permanently befuddled AI.
"Ah - um... Because I want us to have some privacy for the game, with
no bloody interuptions." Came back the hamster.
"Right. But are you sure you don't want me to divert the Blue Dwarf
away from it's current course? You could get injured during the
collision you know..." Said the dimbulb AI.
"It's a late for worrying about getting injured - I'm already six
feet under, Hol." Snapped back the Ghost hamster.
"You are incorrect Captain, your not six feet under. I estimate you
being exactly 236 miles off the stern." replied Holly not getting the
metaphor.
"Okay, I'm confused now - If I'm exiting stage left some 236 miles
away, then why are you worried about me getting injured?" Demanded
the hulky hamster.
"Is this one of those wierd Norse mythological questions?" Asked
Holly.
"Huh? What's Mythology got to do with this?" asked the hamster while
frowning a little.
Holly shrugged, "You know, the questions that big god of weather
what's-his-name keeps asking."
The Hamster frowned even more and inquired "You mean THOR?"
"Yeah, that's the bloke. Your question was a Re-THOR-hical question
right?" asked Holly.
"That's Rhetorical, you smegging bonehead! I don't know why I'm even
bothering to save you..." shouted the burly hamster as the Blue Dwarf
crashed into the hymenopteran ship, and the structurally reinforced
central computer area violently shook as it was pushed through
several decks of lesser strength rooms, before being finall shoot out
into space almost opposite of the starbug that contained Elwood,
Timmy, WD-40 and the Keto Brain Bot.
"That's another one of those question's, Ain't it?" Said Holly
simply, as the commodious hamster bounced around the tumbling central
computer cores room like a out of control ping pong ball.
<To be continued...>
** - Just a hint of homage to 2001 and HAL... :)
- Tim/White Wolf
Your (currently) Ghostly Captain...