The Hamster takes a powder. Or should that be - "gets powdered"?!?

OOC - Well, to make a long story short, AT&T (my Cable Internet
provider) literally gave me the finger and DELETED my
Cmdrwhitewolf@attbi account last wednesday, all because I had paid
their bill a little late. To start things off with horrid customer
service the A******s insisted on setting me up as new user with
Comcast, instead of simply reactivating my account because Comcast is
taking them over. And because the Comcast techs are UTTER gimboids,
they had to have me physically at my house to flip on the switch
which they flipped off While I was in the office, and insisted I
actually had to hand this *same* tech a check to start up the
internet service, WHEN I HAD JUST PAYED THEM OVER THE PHONE VIA CC TO
RESTART MY CABLE TV IN THE SAME FRIKKIN PHONE CALL!!!! (And wouldn't
you believe it? The dirty bastards had the nerve to charge me $30 new
account setup fee, too!)
And the techs who setup my Internet account must have been from
IdiotsRus training school because 1) They screwed up the DNS record
for my acct, leaving me unable to resolve any Domain names to the
internet, (I was able to connect to Ip addresses I knew by heart but
that was about it) for most of one day, and 2)a complete twit (who
has no business being employed in the IT industry, Btw) flat out
ignored *both* my explaination that she needed to create me a NEW
account after I spoke to a DNS Tech who noted to me that that part of
the setup wasn't done with my acct yet AND what was put in the
trouble tickets note, and just simply transfered my old account info
over from the ATTBI systems into the Comcast.net systems incorrectly.
Because of that Idiotcy on her part, my Email doesn't work, which has
yet to be resolved...
JEEZ louiz... If these morons weren't the de-facto *MONOPOLY* where
my home is, I'd have demanded a friggin refund and switched to thier
competitors by Now!!!! But I can do is just keep *!@#$%^&*?~!@#$%^&*.
>:{
- White Wolf
RPG -
=====
Who: Captain White Wolf, XO Phil FeBuggure, Mini Phil, Chief
Navigator Jay Chrysler, Ambassador Seymour Niples, And several
Ambassadors from earth.
Where: Looks like we're in the frying pan, You know - the Hymenoptera
Home World.
When: How am I supposed to know how these bloody bugs keep time?!?
"Well, it's certainly been nice talking to you!" Said the huge
hamster as the soldier bug he has vainly trying to chat with for the
past few minutes before it suddenly turned away and wandered off.
White Wolf looked around, and quickly realised he was alone in the
tunnel.
"Uh oh.", thought the overgrown hamster, "You idiot! You violated the
first rule of D&D. *Never* get separated from the group while in
strange alien place! It's almost certain the DM with have you meet
with a disgustingly pathetic death..." The mamamoth hamster quickly
whirled around and glanced down at the floor hoping he could use his
tracks to find his way back to the main group. He was in luck, there
was fresh tracks leading away behind him.
He quickly started back up the tunnel, while reaching into his cheek
pouchs and grabbing out several plastic baggies as he thought to
himself, "Good thing I remembered to stowed away a pack of omni
grenades and one fully disassembled falconhammer series assualt
cannon in my cheek pouchs before we lifted off - I'm definitely gonna
need it here!"
<several minutes later>
The Huge hamster re-entered the spherical shaped hive area from a
side tunnel and held his gun at ready as he cast a very nervous eye
around at the several preying mantis like bugs below who were busy
fishing out and grooming some odd looking live things from a bank of
vats. He quickly dropped into a defensive crouch, ready to fire at
any attacker when some liquid in one of the vats spat and gurgled
loudly. He paused, and visually scanned the rest of the area with his
beady hamster eyes looking for any signs of aggression. So far, the
bugs didn't seem to react to his presence.
"Perhaps, the Hymenoptera mirror earth ant colony in this way too -
where the whole colony only reacts to intruders when a certain alarm
pheromone is released during a percieved intrusion.", Thought White
Wolf, "But man, they sure don't look like their grooming your average
worker Larvae down there..."
He watched as one of the 'mantises' finished grooming one of the
little white things, and carefully picked up it up in it's mandibles
and quickly charged up towards him.
White Wolf nervously sprang to the side worried that it had noticed
him, but it ignored him and exited through another side tunnel next
to him.
"Whew..." He thought, "Okay, I better catch up with the scooby gang
before I'm missed, and an intruder alarm is really sounded."
He glanced back down at the floor looking for his tell tale hamster
footprints, but unfortunately for him the floor here was made of
stone, and provided no track.
"Okay." He thought, "Now what, Mr.D&D-know-it-all..."
He paused, glancing around at all the different tunnel exits and
thought, "Time to reach out and touch someone!" while pulling out his
cell, then He saw the familar face of the short sighted Ambassador
coming out of a tunnel a few pace saway from him, and he said, "Boy,
Am I glad to see yo...."
He cut short as he saw the Ambassadors head was connected to a
grotesque bug body - whereupon he smartly
yelled, "YYYEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!" and quickly
threw his Cell fone at the horrid creature hoping to momentarily
distract it while he attempted to hot foot it into another side
tunnel.
Unfortunately, in his panic, he charged right into bug factory
central, and nearly wound up with the worst grooming of his life.
Fortunately for him though, these weren't just another bunch of gay
hairdressers who'd got techy because he refused to tip them. Though,
unfortunately for them, 'tip them' he did with the business end of
his falconhammer gun, punctuating the air with multiple bursts of
gunfire at whatever got too close for his comfort. Bug, vat, wall and
even a poor bat who had innocently taken up residence in these parts
was a recipient of the 'tip o lead' that the big spending hamster so
generously shared as he noisily made his way out of the room.
"What the smeg is this stuff, anyway?!? Hymenoptera hamster-paper?!?"
Yelled the Hamster as he paused to quickly untangle himself from the
cottonly webbing mass he'd dashed through a moment before, while one
of the Mantis's had reached out for him as he was changing ammo clips.
The mantis bug advanced towards him. "So sorry, I'd love to stay an
have tea & Crumpets at this really nice delegation reception of
yours. But I just remembered, I left a ham & cheese crossiant
toasting in my new toaster back on the ship!" Called back the
hamster, while he butted the creature in the head with the back end
of his gun and slapped a new clip of ammo into his weapon before
charging off down a short side tunnel into another room. Whereupon he
nearly ran straight into a hulking soldier bug. He ducked
desparately.
"Ha Hah!" Crowed the hamster outloud as he conventiently slid
underneath Octipod, then followed up with a, "Aw Crap!!!" As he slid
right off the ledge that was behind it and everything went black as
he went >WHUMP!< into a some kind of huge dust bin being pushed along
on a lower level crosstunnel by a worker bug.
{Some moments later}
The titan hamster startled awake, sat up in the bin covered in green
dust and sneezed. Then he spoke towards the faceless worker bug
mindlessly pushing the bin along, "Thank goodness for Hymenoptera
baby powder, right?" The rotund hamster sneezed some more and
complained, "I wish didn't have a nose like you - oh mmmaaan, this
stuff reeks worse than Mini-Phil did after being flushed in the loo!
This is where I get of the Dung express..." he saw bright light
indiciating a tunnel exit looming up ahead and quickly climbed out of
the bin trailing a small green dust behind him as he went.
White Wolf looked around him in the bright light, and said, "I've
gotta be seeing things!" as he blinked the dust from his eyes for a
moment and watched in puzzlement as several worker bugs filed on by
soundlessly and loading the bins into a what looked like several
fully automatic JMC supply ships of all things! One of the small
fleet of ships quickly lifted off and disappeared out of sight.
The great hamster quickly entered one of them, and saw another set of
worker bugs were loading the contents of the dust bins into a O2
resupply tanks. White Wolf then went forward and brought up the
flight program on the onboard computer.
"WTF?!?" Muttered the hamster as he saw that this ship was programmed
to resupply the Blue Dwarf, "I've got to warn somebody!" He quickly
dug for his cell phone, and then slumped as he realized he had thrown
it away earlier. Then he heard the distinctive roar of a starbug
landing nearby, he ran back and poked his head out the of hatch, and
spotted Dean & Cerebrum through the windshield.
"Now this is the kind of shrink visit I like to see!" thought the big
Hamster, going over to meet them.
<Tag Cerebrum, Dean, anyone?>
OOC Note to Jay & Phil - if you haven't already guessed what the
Green dust has got on him is... Just post yr question in the council
chambers, and I'll explain over there, okay?
:)
- Tim.