Utter Rubbish

Who: Canazza
Where: A large Storage Bay
When: Whenever
Before him stood row upon row, file upon file and tower upon tower of large blue capsules.
They went on into the darkness at the end of the bay, on into the darkness at the sides of the bay, and up to the murky yellowy/green light at the top of the bay.
Canazza, sporting a nifty looking blue bomberjacket and matching baseball cap, stood alongside another man wearing similar attire.
The bay was cold, frozen even.
The man sounded, "Welcome to your new assignment", he turned to Canazza, "You are to spend the next two days fixing all of these" he waved his hands out to the blue capsule shaped objects infront of them.
"what are they?" Canazza inquired
"I assumed you would have worked in waste disposal, They're Blue Dwarf Garbage pods, this is the cold-storage bay. after the non-flushable and non-flammable waste is collected and dried using MASSIVE fires, we freeze them here before shooting them off into space."
"Garbage pods? What about this weird language on the side?"
"It says 'Blue Dwarf Garbage Pod', the letters are just burnt off"
"That could get confusing if some other culture found these millions of years in the future, they could think they were stasis chambers or something"
"I doubt it, you'd need the I.Q. of a salmon to confuse those two"
Canazza looked around nervously, hoping the man didn't catch on that he had confused them...
"anyway, All the pods in Sector 34 Alpha are the broken ones, your job is to fix them"
"Are they filled?"
"Some of them," The man belched, a cloud of air whisped up into the yellow/green murk at the top of the Bay, "the others, well, they can't keep it in" He handed Canazza a mop, "mind your feet"
"Can't you get a skutter to do that?"
"Most skutters won't do it," The man walked forward, towards Section 34, "It's a Union thing"
"Great, beaten by the skutters union again..." Canazza followed the man, mop held in a menacing position, inches from the mans head. He snatched it away as the man turned round
"You'll find everything you need down by the bay,"
"The bay? I thought it was a Section of THIS bay"
"No no no, you know how many Garbage Pods break before they are even DELIVERED here?" He stopped at a door, punched in a code, the door slid open. It revealed a bay 10 times the size he was in, wall to wall to ceiling of broken, dripping and stinking Garbage pods, "Oh, and we can't afford the power to freeze these, so they remain at room temperature."
They walked out onto Gantry that went along to the other sise of the bay and round the edges, there were several ladders down along it's length.
There was a loud rumble from below them, the Gantry they were on collapsed, Canazza and the man went flying into a bank of Lumpy porridge Pods. One of the lumps hit Canazza on the head and knocked him unconscious.
------
Canazza awoke, lying on a floor, the man was next to him, they were both lying in a pool of porridge.
Canazza sat up and looked at his Jacket, it was now white and crusty. The cap he was wearing was gone.
"Call a Tailor! QUICK!" Canazza stood up, brushed off as much of the porridge as possible and helped the man up
"MY CAP!" he squealed! "Those cost $£25 a piece! CALL A HABERDASHER!"
"you have no sense of priority" Canazza replied, "what happened?"
"I was meaning to have the Gantry fixed, Never did. Hey, where's your hat?"
"Don't know, don't care"
"WHAT! get out of my Storage bay"
"Gladly, now, where's the exit."
"Up there" the man pointed to the now fallen section of Gantry platform. "Even if we get up on the Gantry, there is no way to get over to the door, even jumping is too far"
There was a small shadow at the doorway, it spoke
"OI! what's going on down there?"
"dammit!" Canazza stood up
"what?" said the man
"It's Timmy, just what I need right now", Canazza walked closer to the wall and shouted "TIMMY! GO HOME!"
"HAHAHAHA! And miss THIS?!"
Canazza pulled something out of his inside pocket. He pushed the button, Timmy went into a spasm and jumped off the edge.
Canazza caught the plummeting robot by his feet
"HEY! what the hell did you do?!"
"I installed a robotic shock collar"
"WHAT?!" Canazza ignored the robot and opened his back panel.
"righty-o, this won't take a mo" he pulled out a coupled of wires and attached them to the small device he used to shock Timmy with.
"What are you doing you Smegger, hey, wait, I can't - "
"Move? yes, i disconnected you from your motor functions. I've hooked you're arms up to my button"
He aimed Timmy to the top of the wall where the door was. Canazza pushed the button and the arms shot out inspector-gadget style and grabbed onto the ledge. He released the button and the arms retracted, Pulling Canazza along for the ride.once at the top, Canazza climbed up and into the other bay.
He threw Timmy back down to the man,
"Aim him upwards"
The man did so, "READY" he shouted, Canazza pushed the button
The arms shot out and caught hold of something. There was a yelp of pain and a clunk as canazza dropped the remote and the arms retracted.
Canazza held on for dear life to the sides of the door as the robots hand pulled his nipple outwards.
Eventually, the man grabbed hold of the door and the pressure was released from Canazza's left nipple, which was now an inch longer than it should be.
"I enjoyed that" Timmy said, "NOW PUT ME BACK TOGETHER!"
"Okay okay, when we get back to the quarters"
"Hrmf," Timmy scowled at Canazza, who was carrying him underarm, "How did you know about the arms? They were only added the other day by those guys in Engineering"
"Like I'd tell you"
"You two are very very strange," Said the man.
In the weeks that followed:
Canazza had a nipple-length-reducing operation that left him with a small hole in his left ear, no-one knows why
Timmy discovered Canazza's bugging devices in Engineering and proceeded to rip them out and then force-feed them to Canazza.
The Cold-Storage Guy continued to mourn the loss of two of his best hats long into the following weekName: Dave Canazza
Status: Nippletastic