Re: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Major Harris \'Oh hell!\'

**Action**
JMC Blue Dwarf
Funeral procession room (or junk-jettison room as it is more commonly known)
Sunday 24th December (Space date 24.12.2100)
The crew gathered around the coffin in honour of Keiran Loes, Sam Young,
Maudlin "Death-wish" Palmer-Smythe and Penny Lloyd.
In fact, the remains of either of the crewmembers could not be retrieved,
and even if they could, what was left wouldn't have fitted into a rich-man's
purse.
Instead, the photo's of each of the crewmembers were placed on top of a
class-9 probe- ready to be buried in space.
Captain Cannon, dressed in his most formal of hawiian shirts stood up to the
podium ready to read his speech. The crew stood silently and watched, some
of the more weepy of them crying over the loss of such fine officers (mainly
the men who fancied Penny). Some of them taking out the tissues, something
they had become accustomed to doing when thinking about the attractive young
officer.
Whitewolf had started preening himself nervously.
"We are gathered here today..." started Cannon sullenly. "...to offer you
low prces at the Christmas season, with up to half price off...."
Cmdr Niples coughed in annoyance and the captain realised he was reading an
advertisement for mcKenzies shop. Cannon chuckled nervously and turned his
paper over.
Seymour groaned and felt his forehead in annoyance. Thoughts bombarded
through his head.
He had wanted this to be a nice occasion, one where they could reminice and
say how much they would miss his beloved Penny Lloyd.
'Beloved' the word was stale in his head. He had never told her how much he
had liked her. And now she was gone.
Maybe other members of the crew felt the same way as he did, he couldn't
tell.
Other guest speakers stood and talked too, Lt. Whitewolf even stood, picked
a few balls of furr from himself nervously and then scuttered off as he felt
the pressure of everyone staring at him.
When the speaking had finished, the formal funeral processions commenced-
with the traditional bugle playing, a gun-salute, some fireworks, ice-cream
and chips, and the probe which was used for the coffin was placed on the
conveyer-belt and moved slowly towards the airlock.
Niples grimmaced and saluted, and the probe was honourably sent into space
with a loud flushing and gurgling sound.
***After the funeral***
The Blue Dwarf headed back to the dimensional-rift in space where they met
up with Efof in the Space Eagle. Niples had been so caught up with the death
of Ensign Lloyd and the others that he had forgotten about his prize
posession, the slick green fighter. And the guy piloting, what was his name
again?
Efof docked, no doubt he had a good story to tell. Especially why the Space
Eagle was covered in gash marks and had a cow tied to its lower hull.
Another ship that they met on their way was a transport ship carrying some
new crewmembers, the ship docked and the new crewmembers made their way
through the ship.
***Science labs***
Harris arrived in the science labs after hearing reports of a fight going on
there, he was pissed off and ready to take out his anger on someone.
He arrived to find TWO Johnson's fighting on the floor, each desperately
grabbing for the remote control to the dimensional drive.
"GET UP!" he yelled.
The Johnson's stood up.
"Which of you is the real James Johnson?"
"Me!" they both said simultaniously.
Harris groaned....
***Outside the Captain's office.***
Three thugs from the security department, Tom, Dick and Harry,
pounded on the door to the Captain's office.
"Come in." A voice called from within.
Tom, Dick and Harry made their way inside of the office and looked
down at Captain Cannon who was now hiding under his desk.
"Can… Can I help you with something?" Cannon asked weakly.
Tom began to punch his fist into the palm of his hand and grinned
evilly.
"::Gulp:: … This is about that comment isn't it?" Cannon asked
quietly.
The three thugs nodded and then advanced on the Captain.
***Drive room***
With a little bit of trouble with some of the doubles who were still on
board, Cmdr Niples headed back through the dimensional rift they had created
and back into the 'Normal' universe. It wasn't as nice as the one they had
just come from, but at least it wasn't as bad as the one where the Warship
Blue Dwarf had come from. But it was somewhere to call home.
Well, home- but still very far away.
The drive room crew were running a few members short. The pilor Kieran had
gone so Nik Florentyn the stand-in took his place.
Johnson and the Captain had both mysteriously dissapeared, and Kayn seemed
to be missing as well- but he was seen scurrying around earlier trying to
find some spare ship parts which may have fallen off when the Evil BD
attacked them.
***5 minutes later, In Cmdr Niples office***
"I'm sorry sir, we couldn't find the Captain so is it alright if we come
in?" asked a polite voice through the door.
"Yes come in" answered Seymour. It was nice to have a new voice around the
place.
"We are the new crewmembers sir," said one young man as three others walked
in.
"Sir Paradigm III, Joshua Barns, Aron Dek Hares and Stromile Keegan at your
service sir" chanted all four in unison. Which always made Niples worry.
His attention turned to the old grey man, who had been the last to be
announced.
"Ahh, our new mining chief! Nice to meet you."
"EH?" asked the old man, holding a hand to his ear.
"I said its nice to meet you sir" repeated Niples, being tolerant for the
old mans hearing.
'Old man winter' remained stern of face. So Seymour realised he must need to
repeat it again.
"NICE TO MEET YOU!" he yelled in a voice which would have made Doom
Harbinger jealous.
"OF COURSE ITS BLOODY NICE TO MEET ME!" shouted the old man. "WHY ARE YOU
SHOUTING ARE YOU A BIT DEAF?!" asked the grey miner, thinking that Niples
must be deaf to have to shout like that.
Niples pressed on in case he insulted the old man. He gave each crewmwmber
their copy of a duty roster and saluted them as they walked out of the door.
"SEE YOU LATER!" shouted the old man, in case the commander didn't hear him.
Niples sighed. Another batch of new crewmembers. Would they last very long?
Would they be able to stand the pressures of ship-board life, or would they
break into tears on their first mission, or would they even crack when they
first meet Harris? Or Doom?
The attention of the entire ship was broken when the voice of Lt.JG Kayn
Bestrom came over the comm.
<com> "Could all the senior staff please come to cargo bay 29. I have a
surprise for you....!" <com>
<OOC- So the BD is back in the normal universe, Niples biggest crush Penny
Lloyd is dead, the Captain is in trouble with some thugs and Kayn has built
a ship out of scrap.
Will Efof get the kicking of his life after Niples sees the SE?
Will Harris find the right Johnson?
Did the Alternate Kayn die from too much Teletubbies? Or did he crave for
more and find the emergency supply of 'Tweenies' and 'Bob the builder?'
Will Captain Cannon ever grow out of his nappy wearing stage?
Will Phil make his time machine before the next christmas virus wipes
Saddam?
Only you can decide on YOUR Blue Dwarf!!!
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