Merry christmas

<snip>
"HOHOHO What have we here" came a deep booming voice."It's only Santa"
"Only Santa hmm. We'll see about that" said St. Nick and loaded his blaster and pointed it at L'ornts head.</snip>
Where: Parrot's Bar
When: During the last post
Who: Canazza, Timmy, some other poor sods drowning their souls
Parrots bar, usually it was covered, wall to wall with a Mediterranean theme, with the odd splash of lager, blood and vomit here and there for effect. It was much different today. Today, and for the last month, it has been covered in a Mediterranean theme, with the odd splash of lager, blood and vomit here and there for effect AND some tinsel. Very nifty. Very christmasy. And the drunks of the bar were really in the christmas spirit.
Well,... Christmas Spirits.
Canazza sat there, nursing a 3 hour old cola. The vending machine refused point blank to give him a pint of Triple strength "asesino" spanish whiskey on the grounds he had too much already, when all he'd had was a lemonade after it refused to give him a bottle of Vodka.
Timmy on the other hand was behind the bar drinking straight from the taps. The engineering boys thought it'd be funny to fit Timmy with a working digestive system so he can actually drink, and right now he was drinking like a fish. For some drunken reason he was wearing a pair of fake reindeer antlers.
One of the other men rose from his seat and walked over to the silent juke box, inserted some credits and proceeded to select his song. He walked over to Canazza's table, pulled out a chair and climbed upon it and shakily stepped onto the table.
"What are you-" Canazza attempted to complain, but the jukebox had begun loading the song and the man had taken a deep breath.
the man counted down using his fingers, when he reached 0 the music started and the man expelled his breath..."IT'S CHRIIIIIIIISSSTTTMAAAAAAAAASSS!!!"and he began a drunken dance totally out of beat with the classic song, knocking all of Canazza's empty glasses all over the place.
Timmy looked up from the latest bar tap he was draining, Canazza noticed that for some reason, Timmy's nose had gone red, probably another engineering joke,
"Dammit! i've drunk all the alcohol on tap!" Yelled Timmy
"Uh... Timmy, you shouldn't be able to hold that much liquid"
"Yeah..." Timmy swayed, "I do feel a bit weird."
"Yeah, well, stay away from me,"
"He he. The engineering boys fitted me with a fully working digestive system, including a way of getting rid of it..."
"Like i said, stay way from me"
Timmy faced Canazza, grinned, concentrated, then let go.
The mini-bot went hurtling at amazing speed towards Canazza's table, wobbling slightly due to the effects of the alcohol. He flew over Canazza and soaked him, whacked off the man who was still dancing on the table, despite the music having finished, and hurtled towards the open vent where a couple of drunks were trying to get out of the bar. They dived aside as they realised that being hit by a wee-propelled robot isn't a good thing.
Timmy went flying into the vent, he continued for some time, bouncing around corners, until he eventually came to an exit.
Timmy thought he was just drunk when he saw the back of the giant santa claus robot infront of him, but as he got closer, it didn't turn into a skutter, it remained a santa-bot, he noticed L'ornt was staring into the barrel of a nasty looking plasma cannon.
"HO HO HO! TIME TO DIE!" it said, powering up his weapon, just as Timmy flew over his head, glowing red nose, antlers and a trail running behind him, "Rudolph?!" said the santa-bot, looking up, it analysed the trail behind it and saw it contained 98% alcohol and 2% unknown, Santa raised his arm and the finger opened up showing a lighter. He lit the trail behind Timmy as he flew off, the fire went faster than Timmy was flying.
Timmy Hurtled onwards towards another open vent, he bounced around three corners and looked back, the fire was still gaining.
he could hear the familiar sound of Slade up ahead, and he saw two drunks trying to enter the vent again. He blasted out into the bar, fire in hot pursuit
All of a sudden, the torrent stopped, Timmy's inertia carried him onwards into the bar. The fire reached the end of the line. On Canazza's table. It jumped from the torrent line to the stuff that remained over Canazza's head setting him alight.
"WAAAHH!" he screamed, and ran over to the dispenser. "WATER WATER!!!!"
"Happy to oblige" said the dispenser, and proceeded to drown Canazza under 10 gallons of the clear H2O. "I think you need a doctor" he said, then looked at what remained of Canazza's hair, "Or a wig"
Name: Dave Canazza
Status: Wet, burned and Bald... Merry Christmas