Hostage situation

Who: Cerebrum, TseTseng, miscellaneous Black Ops elves
Where: The car
TseTseng's cell phone rang; he pulled it out and answered it. "Hello,
TseTseng
here. They what? When? Where the hell where his secret service elves? On
their egg-nog break? Bloody unions. Get all the teams ready. Pull them off
leave! Gather them at main HQ, and get me some satellite coverage."
"Damnit," he muttered, snapping shut his cell phone. "The Easter Bunny
launched a surprise attack and kidnapped the fat man. Cerebrum, looks like
you're going to prove yourself in our organization sooner than I thought.
Some bunnies have taken hostages at factory seven, and they're threatening
to blow the place up, unless Santa's sled is delivered to them. I have no
intention of giving into their demands. We're going to lead Gold team in and
terminate the furry menaces. Driver, take us to factory seven."
The Black Ops elf driving the car slammed on the brakes, and twisted the
wheel in the traditional fashion of an ace vehicle expert. The vehicle
promptly swerved out of control and slammed into the side of a building.
"These roads are covered in ice, Mr. Superspy," TseTseng angrily shouted at
the driver. "Now we have to walk!"
At factory seven, TseTseng and Cerebrum met up with a team of elves wearing
black uniforms and mirrored bubble helmets.
"And what weapons will we be using?" Cerebrum said, skeptically. "Candy
canes? Pop-guns?"
"Bazookoid mark 2s," TseTseng responded, pulling some out of a weapons case.
"How'd you get these?"
"Blue Dwarf merchandising," he replied, proudly. "It's the latest thing.
Give the kids a fully functional assault weapon for Christmas. Fun and
educational."
"Gee, you learn something every day," Cerebrum said, loading the weapon and
flicking off the safety with the ease that only a trained psychiatrist can
achieve.
"Let's move in. Gold one to three, you're with me. Gold four to six, go with
Cerebrum here. Alpha go, beta go, move, move move!"
The teams hit the factory fast. Cerebrum and his elves encountered no
opposition until the main assembly line, where some bunnies were about to
shoot some hostages. Thinking only of the hostage's lives, Cerebrum grabbed
an elf standing next to him, and threw him in front of the rabbits weapons
as they pulled down on the triggers. The guns were apparently silenced, as
there was virtually no sound as a huge red stain appeared on the elf's body
armor.
The elf stood up, and looked down at his chest. "Hey, this isn't blood," he
said. "It's paint. They're using paint guns!"
"Silly rabbit," Cerebrum shouted. "Paint is for eggs." Then he and the Black
Ops elves demonstrated that bazookoids, while not for anybody in specific,
could be applied as a general solution to just about any problem, including
hostage taking rabbits.
Outside the factory
"Hostages have been secured," TseTseng said into a radio. "Get central
command on. Okay, TseTseng here, we've secured the factory. Any word on
where they took the fat man?