Will the BD ever notice? An untidy Mechanoid, An uncaring Captain,
Who: White Wolf, Wd-40 and a surprise guest, the Polymorph.When: Before... Obliviously!Where: In the Captain's Quarters.
WD-40 called from the kitchen to the six foot, one inch hamster, who was stepping out of the bathroom while rubbing his fur with a large beige towel, "What would you like to break your fast this morning, Sir?"
The huge hamster paused, and draped the towel over his shoulders as he thought for a moment, then answered, "How's about a tall glass of milk, 3 scrambled eggs in Hollandaise sauce, two cheddar waffles with whipped cream & blueberries on top, and four slices of honey cured bacon on the side?"
"Coming right up, Sir." Replied Wd-40 while snapping on his egg beater groinal attachment and starting on the scrambled eggs.
White Wolf noticed him doing that and grimaced inwardly somewhat as he tried getting rid of the lewd mental imagery he got every time he saw the mechanoid use his groinal attachments like that. He shook his head and tried not to think about it, and walked into his adjoining small office, where his computer AI, Sam's, main console was located. He grabbed the old fashioned (and quaint) keyboard, and quickly punched in his security pass codes to activate Sam.
"Hi Ya. sweetie! Shall I bring up your News excerpts?" Chirped the pretty looking Blonde Avatar for Sam on the console screen.
"Yeah, feed them to the monitors located in the dining room." replied White Wolf motioning towards the screens, as he casually wondered back into the dining area. Just as WD-40 came out, pulled out one of the fours chair from around table, and begun setting a single plate, set of silverware, and a white cloth out on the table before it.
The news feeds began playing on the monitors, as the large hamster pulled out the chair at the table, and picked up the cloth napkin. Several explosions, screams, and talking heads started droning on mercilessly.
"uh... Cancel that Sam. What don't you play music?" called the hamster, while sitting down, and unfolding the cloth napkin and placing it over his lap.
Suddenly some rock music began blaring through the room.
"No, No, No - Sam. I meant something nice and soothing... You know, like classical music." Interrupted the hamster while picking up a knife and fork.
"Elevator music?!?" Exclaimed an offended sounding Sam.
"No, not elevator music, Sam. Something with culture, you know, like one of those classic symphonies that everyone says lifts the spirit and soul. That kind of thing..." Replies White Wolf, "Got anything with Amadeus?"
"You mean the one in the movie you watched last week?" Chipped in WD-40, bringing out a glass of milk, and a plate loaded down with waffles, scrambled eggs & bacon, and placed it before the hamster.
"Yeah, that's the one, Sam. Mozart, the child prodigy composer." Finishes White Wolf while gesturing with his fork.
"Elevator music..." Muttered Sam, "I don't know any Mozart. Just copy cats..." then she grinned devilishly as she finished, "He probably won't even know the difference anyhow..." and then the speakers started playing a rendition of 'Night on Bald Mountain'.
The overgrown hamster cocked his ear at it the music for a few second, then nodded and looked down at his plate, noticing that something was missing he commented, "Where's the whipped cream & blue berry topping?"
"I'm making the whipped cream fresh!" Said WD-40 coming back from while using his groinal whipping attachment and finished eagerly, "And if you'd like, I can make you a cup of fresh Cappuccino, so I can try out my new frothing attachment."
The rotund hamster shuddered visibly as the mental image of WD-40 frothing his drink with yet another groinal bouncing frenzy danced through his mind, and quickly replied, "Ah... no. But, thanks for the offer, WD."
"Don't mention it, sir." Said WD-40 ladling out the whipped cream onto White Wolf's waffles, and topping it off with some blueberries, "Perhaps I can use it instead to make a quiche for your lunch."
White Wolf nearly dropped his fork in mid mouthful, spilling a bit of waffle onto the floor, as he blurted out, "Um, Sorry... I can't, WD. Ah, you see, I forgot to tell you - as thanks for loaning you out to help with Alota, Jay's invited me to have lunch with him today."
WD-40 frowned at the spill on the floor, while commenting, "Do you really think it's wise? Your schedule is already so disorganized, sir. It's almost as if you want to keep it as unordered as your vest & duct tape closet. I had a dickens of a time sorting everything into a nice and orderly light to dark colors filing arrangement."
"Um... Sorry, I didn't mean it to be such a problem." Apologized the huge hamster.
"A good captain, is an organized Captain." quoted WD-40, as he shook his head and went into the kitchen again to fetch his vacuum groinal attachment, and put it on. Then, he suddenly noticed there was also another food spill on the kitchen floor, and commented out loud in distaste, "How could this place get so messy in such a short time?", and he grabbed up a nearby trashed can and started vacuuming it up some of the small bits and depositing the larger bits into the can.
Suddenly, a tentacle jumped up the food spill and attached itself to WD-40's forehead, and quickly sucked out all of WD-40's cleanliness compulsion. The polymorph then changed into a cockroach and scuttled away on the floor.
Holly suddenly appeared on the monitor next to amplitudiness hamster interrupting the classical music, "Captain, your needed in the conference room for a department head meeting that Miss Chrysler has just ordered."
"Why, what's up, Holly?" asked White Wolf, while setting down his silverware and grabbing up his glass of milk from the table to finish it.
"Something about an rude interaction, no - that's not it." Holly's brow furrows in concentration as he tries remembering, "Internet? No, that's not either... interboober... intruder. That's it! Something about an *Intruder*."
"An intruder? This can be serious..." Said White Wolf, while pushing from table, and getting up, and just about to take a drink of milk when he noticed that there was a cockroach antennae sticking out of it, and there was another glass of milk still on the table, as WD-40 walked dazedly out of the kitchen with his groinal attachment still plugged up with some burnt waffles, carrying a trashcan.
White Wolf suddenly looking apprehensive asked, "WD, did you bring out another glass of milk for me because this one's got bug in it?"
"You've a bug in your milk? Cool! You better not tell anybody though, otherwise everyone will want one too. Hmm, this room, needs a little something..." Remarked WD-40, up ending the trashcan and dumping the garbage onto the floor, "Ahh, the perfect bachelor touch!"
The huge hamster exclaimed with concern, "Hey, wait a minute WD, what's wrong with you?" as the glass of milk shimmered and tentacle smacked White Wolf's forehead and sucked out all of his concern, then changed into a sparrow and flitted across the room over to the top of one of the monitors.
"There's absolutely nothing is wrong with me, Sir. I just felt this place needed a little loosening up. It was just too neat and tidy for my tastes - Why?" responded WD-40.
"Um... I don't know." replied White Wolf looking shook up for a moment, then turned toward Holly and asked, "Do you know why dude?"
"Because of the intruder, or the dept head meeting perhaps?" hazarded Holly in confusion as the polymorph saw it's chance to for aperitif to it's already bountiful feast, and stuck out a tentacle onto Holly's forehead and sucked out all of his confusion.
The polymorph dropped drunkenly to the floor, and shapeshifted into a topsy turvy (TM) spinning toy top and wobbled it way out the Captain's quarters.
"Hey! Anyone up for a game of laser tag?" exclaimed White Wolf.
A now suddenly unconfused Holly bellows out with a air of confidence to the huge hamster, "Captain White Wolf! I surmise that I've just been attacked by a polymorph, so I think it behooves you to assemble all of your department heads, and organize a search of the ship to capture that foul beast before it does any further damage!"
"So an emotion sucking polymorph is loose on the ship - Who gives a smeg?!?" Remarks White Wolf, "Do you?"
"Well, if it doesn't go around trying to tidy things up, I don't really mind." Comments WD-40.
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