Jp with Phil and Jay.

 
Who : The department heads, plus all who had been affected by the Polymorph
Where : Main Briefing Room
When : After Keto got <slurped>
 
 
Jay walked into the briefing room. For a split second he thought he eyesight was playing up as MP was sitting in Phil's normal seat..."What you doing there get out before Phil see's you..."
 "I have every right to beeeee here Mr Chrysler. As for my doppelganger...he currently trying to hunt down the polymorph with a twiglet..I advised a bazookoid but he insisted on twiglet for some reason..."
Jay blinked, "A twiglet?" he said, taking his seat. "The guy's gonna get himself killed!"
"Possibly yes" replied the midget, "But he no longer holds any fear"
 "Is he going to be joking us Mini-Mr FeBuggure?" White Wolf asked, from the tables head.
"Yes...he said and I quote..'.tell the giant fuzzball I'll be along once I've kicked the bastard in the balls who decided to close down burger king..."
....The door to the briefing room was kicked inwards at this point...Not that impressive till you realised the door was in fact a sliding door. Phil saunted in and sat down..."Bloody thing got away..." he moped...
Jay, decided to test Mini-Phil's theory, "Holly..." he said "Can you please pride us with a jpeg of the most hideous clown you can find?" Holly did better, he gave himself silly green hair and a red nose. Phil didn't flinch. "Fair enough.." said Jay "Now would SOMEBODY mind explaining what's happening?"
 
MP stood up and coughed politely...."Dr Keto if you would be so good..." The lights dimmed..."I've taken the liberty of making a short slide show to explain what is going on...." The film rolled...Mp's voice spoke..."The polymorph is attacking our crew...(a picture of MP showing his bum appeared)...Don't know how that got in there..." MP cliked through various slides showing what was happening.
"Here we have Mr Chrysler flirting with a young lady in Parrots" Mini-Phil said, as one picture slid past, Jay instinctively leapt across the room as far from Alota as possible for his own safety, Alota, did nothing, just smiled at Jay, unnerving Chrysler even more as he slinked back to his seat. "she was....asking..um the time.." Jay said sheepishly.
"Exhibit B: O our  1st officer has lost her aggression...." "Uh huh-huh" "From that outburst you can see that Mr Thomas has lost his, well, sense of good taste..."
Dean looked hurt, Jay didn't believe he could lose something he never had. "So what exactly Is a poly-hoosit anyway?" he said looking to Mini-Phil. "A polymorph, is a shape changing life-form, that feeds of pure emotion, Miss McGellan's Charisma for example" he said pointing a stubby finger at Kara. "And Doctor Ketos' superiority"
 
"What about you?" Asked Jay..."And why can you speak English?" "It'd drained my libido and as that took up 90% of my brain, it allowed my speech centres to fully cognitive thereby granting me full command of the common tongue.."..."Right..." said the captain, who got up to pace to the room..."How do we get this beast off the ship? Suggestions?"
 
Jay looked around the room, from what he could tell, only he and White Wolf has so far escaped the clutches of the poly-doodad. Phil spoke "I say we set off the self destruct, that'll kill the smegger"
 "Yes Phil" said Jay, "But it will also kill us!"
"Scared?"
 "Of having myself spread across the galaxy? you could say that!"
"Or we could force feed it Keto and hope it chokes to death on him, " suggested Phil...Keto just noded in agreement....Phil started to make chicken noises under his breath...
"Sir" said Jay, feeling that perhaps he might make more sense than alot of the crew right now looked at White Wolf "The're all f***ing nuts"
"Be vack in a sec..." said Phil standig up and leaving the room....."Where the bloody hell has he gone..." asked WW..Jay read the note Phil had left...."Dear All : Have gone to old lab to find some old weapons designs...will be back with the polomorphs head on a great big stick...signed Phil.."
White Wolf slapped his paw against his face. Jay looked at him again "Captain, hes a liability"
 
"Liabilty...I wish Harris was here right now...ohchristdidIjustsaythat?" Jay nodded.....
"Suggest someone detains Phil" said Alota "not me of course, that whole fighting thing not really for me" Keto spoke "Mrs Chrysler, dont be so modest! You're better at it than I could ever be
"But of course none of you have a scratch on me!" said Dean "And i'm good looking too"
"Sir......" said Jay
 
MP stood up..."I think under the circumstances I could bring up a convincing argument to prevent my gene-doner doing to much damge...With your permision? " MP nodded towards the captain who nodded an agreement...MP ran off as fast as his little legs would carry him..Keto just smiled..."I rememebr the first day I saw that little guy....what was his words?...EEEEE...hee hee...."
"One question" Jay said "What happens if we do kill it?" Dean looked a bit worried "If its near me I'll get blood all over my suit!" "SHUT UP MORON!" Jay said Dwan opened his mouth again "THATS AN ORDER!" Jay stood up and walked over the front of the room. "I mean, if we kill it, will theyre missing emotions be restored?"
 
WW head snapped around..."Holly....there was an incednt of a Polymorph on this ship before wasn't there...." Holly replied..."yes there was...it took us ages to get rid of all of them...espcially after the joined their powers together and turned into a giant Pickachu..."
"we gotta move fast" said Jay.
"Well we have one problem solved at any rate..." said MP leading Phil back into the room..."How do you that?" asked Keto to MP...."Well basically I prmosed him that when we do finally get the beast corned, that Phil can be the first one to take a swing at it's bollocks..."
"But they don't have bollocks to they?"
"I know...But Phil doesn't..." "Oh you clever bugger..."
"Yes..I am..."