Who? Where? How? Why and When?

Recent posting has gone haywire, with fraying tempers, and completely frayed plots. This long, (excessively long) post which follows, is a JP between Andy(Jay), Chris(Phil), Chris(Dean) and Becca(Tara) in an attempt to rewrite the sim (without changing too much) but in a way that makes sense. We shall start, with WW's post....
We would also like to add our congratulations to Amanda, who also helped the creation of the "Time, Chaos and a Phil FeBuggure" sub-plot, and yet was missed off the SOTM award. We would like to put her name forward to be added to the SOTM, making it a 4 way prize.
Anyway, to WW's post (incidentally, for those who are short on time or patience, a summary is avaible at teh bottom of this post:
The huge hamster dashed down the hallway on all fours, when he suddenly thought, "Why the smeg am I running away from my own XO? I'm supposed to be a starship Captain..."
White Wolf halted, snapping his paw up in front of him and calling out to Alota,  "I'm the Captain on board this ship, Alota, and I order you to stop this right now!!!"
"JMC directive 984729876745.2134 states that it is against regulations to attack a higher ranking officer for a death of a friend, significant other, spouse or other loved one, including pet cat's & dog's. And the only exceptions to the directive are if your avenging your own death, and that of rear Admiral Browshay's pet sea monkey's..."

Alota ran up behind, and paused to laugh maniacally for effect while she revved up the chainsaw one more time, and stepped ominously closer.
<SNICK>
<SNICK><SNICK>
WW couldn't make sense of it all, one minute he had Alota, next he had the hymenoptera queen.
Then, on the next <SNICK>

The Elderly Archiver quickly spoke to him, "I was hoping you'd arrive soon, Oh Great Furball! I don't have enough time to explain everything to you, but I knew something must have gone terribly wrong with the currents of time when the book of the Chry'ler prophecies morph into the Dean Chronicles. Phil, the god of war, foresaw such an event might come to pass, and instructed me to give you this and that you would know what to do with it..."
"A gravity balanced & kickback compensated man carry modified Browning M2 .50 Caliber heavy machine gun manufactured with the latest in lightweight durable polycarbonates, along with a handy shoulder carrying strap and ammo sack! Oy, do I know what to do with this..." Remarks the Amplitudness hamster grabbing up the weapon greedily, "Now can you get me back to the point in time where Jay get's killed?"
"Certainly... Just take a bite out of this specially created time jumping beef jerky that We made to help put you at each of the critical moments that need correcting." Said the Elderly Archiver holding out what looked suspiciously like a slim jim dipped in BBQ sauce.
<SNICK>
The overgrown hamster paused as he noticed he was right next to the door of Ensign Canaza's quarters, "But first, I have a minor pissing match to settle with a certain junior officer..."
White Wolf stepped through the door and into Ensign Canazza's quarters just as Canazza was exiting his toilet, while he was buttoning up his trousers.
The huge hamster glowered at him, and screamed maniacally, "Sweet Revenge shall be mine!", while firing the heavy machine gun right on by him and at the toilet bowl, shattering it in to thousands of tiny porcelain shards.
Canazza's hands went numb causing his unbuttoned trousers to fall to floor as he froze in place, utterly petrified, and soiling his shorts as he made the shocked realization that all of the bullets had completely missed him.
White Wolf pointed the gun barrel towards the ceiling and stating to Canazza, "Let that be lesson ensign, Don't ever do that again! Unless you want to be on Canary target practice detail..." as he took out the temporal 'Slim Jim' and prepared to take another bite out of it, he paused and finished, "Oh and, you better have a clean pair of shorts the next time I see you!", and then he chomped the meat snack quickly.
<SNICK>
He found himself in front of the snarling bug queen, single handedly he snapped up the Browning and fired at point blank range as she swung at him. The bullets merely bounced off.
"Smeg! She's Armored, I'm going to have to go and get Armor Piercing ammo & come back." Said the hamster starting to take another bite from the 'Slim Jim' as the Hymenoptera Queen knocked him against the wall, causing him to drop it. The hamster frantically reached down and picked it up and rapidly taking a bite as the Queen grabs him.
<SNICK>
"I shall unfrock you all with my amazing De-buttonier gun!" screamed a crazed Cerebrum at a crowd of rampaging Blue Dwarf crewmembers as he fired his cheap sci fi looking gun, and everybody's trousers suddenly dropped to the floor as the buttons holding them up were dematerialized.
"Thank god I have fur and have no need for trousers..." Says White Wolf hanging from the Hymenoptera Queens clutches as everyone suddenly gets red faced and quick runs to hide their exposure behind the huge form of the queen, momentarily occupying her as she batted them away.
"Put 'em Up in the name of King Cain!" Ordered Cerebrum brandishing his gun at the hamster and queen.
"Cerebrum! What in Smeg's name are you doing? Have you run out of your medication or something?" Asked the hamster.
Cerebrum paused, and pulled out several bottles glancing them, "Nope, I've got plenty... See?",  waving them in front of the hamster.
The hamster saw the prescription date of Dec 24, 2102 and gasped, "What's today's date?"
"Um, Jan. 1st, 2103. Why? Are these expired already?" Asked Cerebrum, taking another look at them.
"Nope, just mean's I've got to take another bite." Replies the hamster.
<Chomp, Snick>
"And the Roswell Sci Fi Conventions Costume contest award goes to - six foot one inch Hamster, and the Alien Queen." Said an announcer.
"What's wrong with this thing?" remarked the huge hamster looking at the temporal meat snack, "Oh, I see what's wrong now, I've took two bites from the wrong end..."
The hamster reverses it, and bites again.
<Chomp... Snick>
Cerebrum and Cain were just closing up the starbug when the huge hamster taps Cain on the shoulder, "Hi there, Grouchie! Did ya forget that I'd agreed on delivering a live bug to ya? And you better take good care of that egg your holding... Cain, meet Mommy. Mommy, meet Cain."
Then the huge hamster quickly chomped on the meat snack, and disappeared, reapearing next to Phil and Tara in the cargo hold.
<MEANWHILE>
Cerebrum and Cain were just closing up the starbug when the huge hamstertaps Cain on the shoulder, "Hi there, Grouchie! Did ya forget that I'dagreed on delivering a live bug to ya? And you better take good care of thategg your holding... Cain, meet Mommy. Mommy, meet Cain."Cerebrum looked at Cain, then at the large slavering alien queen. "Is this aroutine thing you have to deal with in your department?" he asked, as Cainpulled a tranquillzer gun and pumped a dozen armor piercing anti-alienknock-out darts into it."Phil your going to have to finish this last bit, as I can't stand to eatanother CNO flavored bite of this stupid jerky that the Archivers made forcorrecting the fouled up time stream!" Said the huge hamster thrusting theTemporal jumping 'Slim Jim' in his face.At this point, the Queen had been contained and the starbug had left theship. Cerebrum noted that the time stream appeared to be fixed, given thathe had stayed in the present for over thirty minutes now. While Cain wasbusy securing the queen, Cerebrum punched up a comm to MP."I see that the time hopping has been solved," he said. "I'm going to beleaving the ship-"Cerebrum drummed his fingers on the console, waiting for the cheering tostop"For a short while. I will be back," he finished, abrutly ending thecheering. "By the way, I notice from this sensor reading that the ship, as aresult of cascade, is 500 meters away from where it should be. so you'll want
to evacuate the command deck then, in about a minute."Cerebrum told him the reason. The command deck was empty in thirty seconds.In five seperate time periods, protected by chronoton emiters, Cerebrum'smeson cannon rotated and fired a four-dimensional shot, a very impressivepiece of shooting. The beams curved in time, met and headed towards thetarget. The target was supposed to be the black hole, in order to knock itinside out and sent temporal waves through the time stream, destroying thecause of the chaos.Unfortunately, the command deck was now located where the black hole hadbeen before the cascade reaction destroyed it.After the beam hit, Cerebrum looked out the window of the Starbug at thelarge, smoldering hole where the command deck used to be. He shrugged. "Ohwell, you win some, you lose some."
<AT THE SAME TIME>

Dean came dashing through the Driveroom entrance, with Jasmine,and Kara in tow
"MP! You're here!"
Suddenly, the comm went.
"I see that the time hopping has been solved," he said. "I'm going to beleaving the ship-"
The entire command deck cheered and hollered, with Dean and Jay doing a quick rendition of the "Cerebrum's leavin'" dance.
"For a short while. I will be back," he finished, abrutly ending thecheering. "By the way, I notice from this sensor reading that the ship, as aresult of cascade, is 500 meters away from where it should be. so you'll want to evacuate the command deck then, in about a minute."Cerebrum told him the reason. The command deck was empty in thirty seconds."RUUUUUNNN!!! Yelled the command crew, pelting down the corridor.
"EEEEEEEEE!!!"
"This way!" yelled Jas, turning left and legging it down teh corridor. Dean overtook, "Now a right!" he yelled, then fell over Tara's
right hand wheel and falling into Phil who was talking to Sydra.
"Smeg!" he yelled.
Kara grabbed the back of the chair and started pushing, They turned left, and met Alota with a chainsaw.
"Isn't it motorised?" puffeed the hamster running alongside the wheelchair
"Should be." said Jasmine, "it looks like one!"
"Batteries flat." suggested Phil, simply.
"We;ve got bigger problems" said Kara to Dean, gesturing at Alota
"EVERYBODY DOWN!" was Dean's response...
The explosion rocked teh ship, and a fireball was sent down the corridor the BD command crew were in!
SUMMARY:
Jay is Dead.
Vanessa is Dead.
Tara is unconscious and dying in a wheelchair with no batteries.
A large number of BD Crew (including, very breifly, Tara, Phil, Alota, Dean, Jasmine, MP, Kara, WW and Sydra -
sorry if I forgot anyone!) are currently throwing themselves on the floor of the corridor.
 
THERE! FIXED! WE HOPE!