The Hamster War has begun

Location: Warship Blue Dwarf - Tourture Chamber
Time : When Hamsters attack
 
As the room is finally clears of the massive rodent population, a  very bedraggled Phil hauls himself up to the a comm. unit on the  wall, activating it, while yelling "Security! Get me that smegging  hamster!"
 
A final wave of smaller, hairless rodents wearing red flannel climb  over the downed security men while carrying little banners  marked, "Down with tyranny!", "Give us freedom!", "Stop Phil's evil  experiments!". . Phil turned on these with a snarl and grabbed three. Walking with an air of controled dignty back into the tourture chamber, he grabbed some elastic bands, tied them to one side of the chamber, tied the other to the struggling hamsters, pulled back and let go one by one.
 
(eeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkk...splat,eeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkk...splat,eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkk...splat.)
 
As the hamster bodys slid down the wall, Phil grabbed a nearby security officer and pummeled his head against the wall
 
"But sir(thud)....the roden..(thud)..ts have left.(thud, thud)... the ship(thud, thud THUD),"gibbered the almost comatose officer
 
"This is really getting on my nipples!" screamed Phil to the world at large and letting go of the poor guy.
 
(Note:This was Phil's holo nipples, not the commander that Harris had Killed).
 
Who could he cause some pain to ...
 
Kayn's happy face wormed it's way into Evil-Phil's mind.
 
And with that he jogged off to Kayn's cell, only pausing to kick a passing crew member in the groin.

Location: Normal Blue Dwarf, Gents
Time : The Same as Evil-Phil was playing "Bunge Hamsters"
 
Phil walked out of the gents. It would have been a almost unoticed return to grace, but for the fact he was beeing followed by a smell that can only be describbed as , well, lets just call it "Poo.". As Phil walked slowely back to his office, being avoided by all crew members along the way who kept waving(it looked like waving) at Phil, he asked Holly to fill him in on events that occured.
 
"Another Dwarf?"
 
"Yep, and this one is even more evil then ours?"
 
The though of an Evil Harris made Phil judder like he'd been drinking schnapps too much.
 
As he Walked into his Lab, he spied WW working on the holo-suits and began to help.
 
** 5 mins later **
 
Phil left the Labs with WW, he said to Saddam "Choose an appropriate image for the holo-projecters and make it a good one."
 
"RIGHT OH PHIL AND WELCOME BACK"
 
Saddam, began to flick through the images in his libary until...
 
Yes. This one would do

Location : Warship Blue Dwarf, Kayn Cell
Time : 5 Mins after Evil Phil's Last action
 

Nice Kayn was singing to himself. He found a different walk of life to his 'friends' on board the Evil Blue Dwarf. He poured himself a coffee and drunk it slowly whilst chanting and meditating.
 
He felt the engines slow as out of the window he saw a huge yellow mass with red cheeks fill the space infront of them
 
Evil Phil unlocked the door and was holding a black executioners mask and an axe in one hand.(Evil-Phil was grateful for the weapons lockers and executioners mask's that were placed at stragic Locations about the ship)
 
Evil-Phil grinned with a big wide manic grin that he reserved when he was about to cause anyone a large amount of pain. He was about to put the mask on when he heard a squeek behind him.
 
Turning around slowley he spotted a small, yellow rodent about 6 inches high, standing on it's back legs and squinting.(Imagine Clint Eastwood in a western in you get a good idea of what is about to happen.)
 
The hamster spoke.
 
"Squuek! Squuek, squeeeek(preen ears). Squekkk! Squeek, squeek, eeek(deficate) squeeek.?   "(*)
 
With a florish, the hamster ran away.
 
Evil Phil dropped the mask and axe, pulled out his holowhip and purseud the rodent.
 
There was one important fact though.
 
Evil-Phil had quite forgotten to lock the door behind him.
(*) = "Hay Smegghead. After all this excitement, are there any rodents left? You know, I'm not so sure myself. You have to ask yourself though, Do I feel lucky?"

Location : Warship Blue Dwarf - Bridge
Time : 10 mins later
 
Evil-Phil ran onto the bridge, almost knocking over James Johnson. "What the hell is that smegger doing back on board
 
"You're into drag, Phil's into bondage, and seems to have rat claw marks all over his face. I know I'm new here, but is this another initiation ritual I don't know about? Like the one where you give Niples your first pay packet?" James asked, confused."He chickened out!" Phil said
 
"Well, I suppose we'd better chicken him back in again, this time giving him something to remind him not to come back without tech!" snarled Captain Harris
 
"Yep. By the way,  You seen any hamsters come in here?"