A wibble in time

OOC: Ignore previous question. The unravelling of time has turned out
to be quite handy. No more tedious flashback posts hehe :)
IC:
Who: Jo, Queen Brittany, assorted crew of the Quasar 4
Where: Approximately the edge of known space
When: Halfway through the orbit of a blue green planetoid…sometime this
week…or last
One unforseen bonus of stealing a prototype that could leapfrog around
the galaxy, was that you could leapfrog completely out of the region of
known space. Jo had found the best place to hide: where noone had the
ability to look.
However, after many tantrums from the spoilt sovereign, Jo had given in
and jumped the ship back to the nearest McDonalds and shopping mall.
The trip was unfortunately cut short by the appearance of two men in
red uniforms covered in gold braid with a fetish for black fuzzy hats.
Evidently, Queen Brittany was quite happy to return to the numbing
emptiness of space. And quickly.
Since that eventful day, they’d been parked around a strange blue
asteroid, of no composition Jo had ever seen before, attempting to work
out a scheme to save their collective arses. Regrettably, Queen,
Brittany-Jennifer Royal’s tantrums were reaching fever pitch again, and
occurring with increasing frequency. And the crew were going to great
lengths to stay out of her way.
Jo sat in the darkened drive room of the Quasar 4 staring out at the
cold unfamiliar stars. With a sigh, she tossed her sketchpad onto the
deactivated console in front of her.
“Hiding here in the gloom, eh?” Brett walked through the door, a bottle
of scotch in his hand and two glasses. The door slid shut silently
behind him.
“Just needed a little peace and quiet,” she smiled wryly.
“Same here,” he said emphatically, “Drink?”
“Thanks,” said Jo accepting a full glass and taking a sip while he
poured one for himself, “Has she finally given up on you men, then?”
“Smeg, I hope so! She singled out Steve to be her most recent victim.
The poor kid didn’t know what to do. Although, last I heard young
Queenie hadn’t spoken to him since he’d hidden a sample of bug slime in
her bed. I thought he was planning to conduct tests on it. Turns out
he found a much better use for it.”
He grinned, then gave a mock shudder, “It took ages to get her off my
back. Once, she actually tried to corner me in the engineering
storeroom. Locked the door and slipped the key in her bra. If Jess
hadn’t walked in...”
<SNICK>
Jo suddenly found herself sitting at her office desk, drink still in
hand. Brett was standing in the corner looking around bewildered.
Queen Brittany was standing between them, in full tantrum mode.
“... and then you drag me on this godforsaken ship and head out to
somewhere that’s so far into the middle of nowhere, it’s not even on
the map yet! I don’t even have anything to wear! And your Executive
Officer won’t leave me alone! You know, last week he locked us in the
storeroom, can you believe it? He was insatiable. It took all of my
diplomatic skills to persuade him to calm down. I want him reported!
I mean ...”
Brett opened his mouth and stepped forward to object, but Brittany,
oblivious to his presence, continued her tirade.
Jo just looked at her confused, “If you’re quite finished, haven’t we
been through this already?”
<SNICK>
“What the hell was that?” cried Jo in surprise, falling to the floor as
the chair disappeared out from under her. She slowly got to her feet,
rubbing at the damp patch on her uniform that was the remains of her
drink. “That little fit happened weeks ago didn’t it?”
“Your guess is as good as mine. My drink’s turned into a can of
sardines. Did that little minx really say that?” Jo nodded and looked
around. They were standing in a corridor of the ship.
“Don’t look now, but here comes trouble,” she said.
“Oh no, not you again, what do you want?” moaned Brittany, stalking
towards them in goo covered disco clothes. “I thought I sorted out
your little problems for you already.”
Brett turned to her angrily, “Of course, the little matter of having
all criminal charges dropped against us. And the re-appointment of
Alexei. Just how did you plan on doing that?”
“I told you I’ve got it all fixed up. I just used my feminine ways of
persuasion,” replied the Queen archly, “something I don’t think you’d
know much about,” she gave Jo’s now bug splattered uniform a sneer. Jo
looked down in surprise, which quickly turned to disgust. Slime was
indeed covering her from head to foot. Again.
“In other words you flashed your breasts at the...”
“Brett,” Jo said warningly.
Brittany scowled and stalked off, “I’m taking a shower. You better
have a good reason for abducting me when I’ve finished.”
“Strange how nothing ever eventuated from her bargaining.” growled
Brett, glaring at the Queen’s retreating form.
“You were a lot more ‘accomodating’ the first time around,” Jo said
blandly.
“That was before I knew she’d made it her mission to render me her
personal toy boy,” Brett grimaced, then sighed, “Now I remember that
scene happening after we picked her up, but it doesn’t explain the tin
of sardines,” he glanced at his hand. A wibble gurgled at him happily.
<SNICK>
The darkened drive room reappeared around them.
“This is getting frustrating,” Jo snarled.
Suddenly, one of the ceiling panels exploded and Ensign Stephen Wong
burst through head first, tangled in wiring. He jerked to a stop a
metre from the floor as the cables reached their limit.
“Well this is new,” he said, swinging slowly from side to side, “Uh,
hullo Captain. Commander.” He attempted a salute.
Brett was nonplussed, “Is this the future or our former present?”
“It’s happening to you as well is it?” Stephen asked from upside down,
“That’s a relief, I thought Jess had put a hallucinogen in my coffee
again” Jo Raised an eyebrow. Stephen coughed and looked sheepish, “Uh,
a little help?”
<SNICK> And another change of scenery.
Abruptly released from his bonds, the scientist plunged towards the
ground. Only, there was no ground. Panicked, he grabbed hold of the
closest thing within reach, which happened to be Jo’s arm. The two of
them went tumbling into someone’s backyard pool.
Jo surfaced spluttering and stared at the kids scampering everywhere.
All waving toy bazookoids and screaming at the top of their lungs. A
young boy, who looked vaguely familiar screeched to a stop in front of
Brett.
“Kablam Mister! You’re dead!” Brett looked flabbergasted. The kid
hurtled off, howling a bloodcurdling war cry.
“Jo,” he paused, trying to think coherently, “I think this was, is my
tenth birthday party. And that ... was me. I think.”
“Cute,” she said. Stephen laughed.
<to be continued…>
<SNICK>
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