The Switch...

Evil Blue Dwarf
Drive Room
Jimmy shook with terror as he faced Captain Harris, he knew this would
probably end in tears, his tears, but this was his only chance.
"Could I have a word please?" he asked.
"Yes, okay," Captain Harris said, "So long as that word is 'OUCH!'"
"Um, okay if I add some more words before that?" Jimmy asked.
"How about 'God no! Not my Kidneys!'"? Harris suggested.
"Actually, I have an idea... God no! Not my Kidneys! OUCH!" Jimmy said, he
finally struggled to his feet
"Look, basically my idea is this," Jimmy said, "What do we do when someone
in our universe turns out to be smart?"
"Stone them to death, execute them or exile them to an island where they are
stoned to death and executed," Harris said.
"Right, now these people only do that 96% of the time! That's 4% of clever
people going around with fantastic ideas! Now what if someone went over
there and nicked all their good ideas before we destroyed them?"
"That's actually a good idea!" Harris said, she pressed the comm button on
her seat, "RHP! Get down here, we've got to stone Shitbag to death!"
"No WAIT!" Jimmy said, "You need someone to do this mission, it'll be really
dangerous, you need someone expendable, in fact this would be a really great
way to get rid of someone you REALLY REALLY hated, imagine how miserable
their life would be if they got caught in an alternate universe?"
"Hey! You're right again!" Harris said, "In fact I reckon we should send
YOU!"
"NO!" Jimmy said, "Please don't send me! I'd hate it! Imagine the horribly
unpleasant things that could happen to me if you sent me! Do you really hate
me that much?"
Five minutes later Jimmy was sitting on a Blue Midget, heading over to the
other Blue Dwarf with a smug grin on his face. Step one was in place...
------------
Our Blue Dwarf
James's/Doom's Quarters
James arrived back at his quarters, he'd found a shop in the Mall with the
door smashed in, and so had gone in and looted as many cushions as he could
carry. He dragged the sacks into his quarters, lay down on the bed and piled
the pillows on top of his head in a desperate attempt to drown out the
insessant rowing going on all around him. On one side of the room was Doom,
arguing that the world was going to end in a horribly nasty and messy way.
On the other side of the room was Doom from the nice ship, arguing that the
world was going to end in an even more horribly nasty and messy way. Then
there was the Doom from the Evil Blue Dwarf, saying that you always need to
look on the bright side, and to cheer up, it might never happen...
After a while he realised he wasn't going to get a decent night's sleep
here, so decided to go and find somewhere else to sleep, he stepped out of
his quarters, and was chloroformed.
---------------------
Um, somewhere dark...
James woke up, he was in a small, cramped space. It felt a bit like one of
thew ship's garbage pods, god he must have been tired last night.
The door opened, and three scary looking people appeared outside the door.
For a second James was terrified, then recognised them.
"Hi Harris! You never told me you were into Drag! Damn you should have told
me earlier, I've always had a bit of a thing for you!" James said.
Harris yanked James out of the garbage pod.
"Where's the stuff!" Harris shouted, in a voice that was sounded slightly
high pitch for Harris.
"What stuff?"
Phil appeared, with a whip.
"You're into drag, Phil's into bondage, and seems to have rat claw marks all
over his face. I know I'm new here, but is this another initiation ritual I
don't know about? Like the one where you give Niples your first pay packet?"
James asked, confused.
"He chickened out!" Phil said.
"Well, I suppose we'd better chicken him back in again, this time giving him
something to remind him not to come back without tech!"
James looked confused, he should have been cheerful. Ignorance is bliss
after all...
Back on our Blue Dwarf, Jimmy Johnson arrived in the drive room for his
first shift.
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