Alternate White Wolf gives a litte "Rodent Revenge", & our White W

Location : Warship Blue Dwarf, Torture chamber
FeBuggure swaggered into the torture chamber. There, strapped into a
device of Phil's own making(The Pain-a-lot 3000) was several small
rodents, 1 large rodent the size and rough shape of a human called
White Wolf(a bloody silly name in Phil's mind). Penny "Red Hot Poker"
Lloyd was helping to move some of the rodents into a microwave,
whilst they were eeking a bit.
Phil walked up to WW, who was strapped in and whispered in his ear..
"Tell me the secret of trans-temporal genetics or another hamster
goes in the microwave......". Penny's hand hovered over the "Nuke em"
button of the microwave.
A hush falls over the room, and every rodents head turns toward the
huge captive hamster in the chair to listen to what he has to say,
(much like the Ef hutton commercial).
White Wolf straightens up, and speaks in a shrill, high-pitched
voice, "You caterwauling magpie in gamekeepers jibbet! You expect ME
to tell you the great hamster secret after what you did to my neither
regions?"
"Yes." Answers Phil straight faced.
White Wolf looks puzzled for a moment about to say something, and
causally pulls his paws out the restraints, and takes a booklet
entitled `notes' out of his cheek pouch, and quickly leafs pages, and
reads it, quickly putting it away, and slips his paws back into the
restraints.
"You could have escaped anytime you wanted?!?" Asks a incredulous
phil.
"Of course, Phil, didn't you know all rodents are natural Houdini's?"
"Umm. Yeah... Sure, I did. Now, wait a minute. Why didn't you escape
then? And what were those notes?"
"Oh, those where the notes to THE PLAN."
"What Plan?"
"This plan. GET `EM GUYS!" White Wolf yells as he suddenly jumps up
and tackles Penny "Red Hot Poker" Lloyd to the floor, and darts for
the door.
Suddenly every rodent leaps out of their of confinement and charges
toward Phil who vainly tries staving them all off with his whip. He
quickly goes down as several hundred more rodents with fur missing in
various places pour from the air vents and take a moment to jump up
and down repeatedly on Phil and Penny while then rush towards the
door following the huge hamster.
As the room is finally clears of the massive rodent population, a
very bedraggled Phil hauls himself up to the a comm. unit on the
wall, activating it, while yelling "Security! Get me that smegging
hamster!"
Outside, several of Phil's security men are mercilessly bludgeoned,
as the horde of rodents make their dash to the escape pods. As
several of the escape pods fill up and blast away from the warship, A
final wave of smaller, hairless rodents wearing red flannel climb
over the downed security men while carrying little banners
marked, "Down with tyranny!", "Give us freedom!", "Stop Phil's evil
experiments!".
OOC – Over to you, Phil!
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Lt. White Wolf
Blue Dwarf (ours) Hanger Deck
Moments after Zack retrieved him
"OK, meet me in the engineering deck." shouted White Wolf over his
shoulder to Zack as he scuttled into the Xpress lift.
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Medical bay
Mere minutes later
White Wolf runs into the medical bay on all fours, Stops for a moment
and rises up on his hind legs and glances around for Steev. Spotting
him, the six foot 1 inch hamster exclaims "Oh there you are, Steev!"
and scrambles over next to Steev's bed, and begins to quickly prop
him up, "Come on Steev, this is no time to take it lying down, Zack
needs our help! He wants us to come up with a Mica dust disperser,
and several small holographic projectors. He's going to project
something with them, to distract that warship out there and hopefully
while their distracted, he's going to sneak on board and slip their
life support system a mickey containing that `Soma' stuff. When we
get the stuff together, we're supposed to meet him in engineering."
Without waiting for Steev to respond, the giant hamster scratches his
chin, and muttering aloud, "I'm forgetting something aren't I?" He
cocks his head for a second, And exclaims, "Oh, now I remember. I
forgot to pick up my spudger! I'll go down to my ship and fetch it,
I'll meet you back in engineering Steev."
The giant hamster drops to all fours and skitters out of the medical
bay.
-----------------------------------
Inside White Wolf's Small Ship
Moments later
Scuttling through the ships hatch, and carefully closing behind him,
and this time making absolutely sure he's locked it. He pauses for a
moment, to think "Let's see, Did I put it in the cockpit after using
it to tweak the ships comm system when the Blue Dwarf wasn't
responding when I first arrived? Yes, that's where I last used it."
He runs part way down the corridor, and stops after a moment, "No,
Wait a minute. I remember putting my Spudger back in my workshop on
the seventh level." He doubles back, "Since the library extends up to
the third floor, I might as well go retrieve the book I forgot to
bring with earlier."
White Wolf enters the library, And quickly moves over the pile where
he was buried earlier, and begins sorting through them, searching for
the book entitled, `N-Dimensional Pocket Universes for Dummies'. The
search takes the giant hamster a few moments. Finally he pulls one
out, and exclaims "ahh, here it is!"
White Wolf steps back pulls out a large ziplock baggie from his left
cheek pouch, tosses the book in, zips it up. He just start to shove
the now ziplocked book into his cheek pouch, the ship is once again
jolted causing another bunch of books to come crashing down from
above unto the huge hamster.
From underneath the pile of books, he mutters, "Note to self –
Research earthquake proofing libraries." And digging himself once
more, poking his head out from underneath the pile of books. Again,
someone who obviously wasn't there before, startles and exclaims "Oh
no! The teleporter shrunk me to the size of a rodent, and I'm inside
some insane doll house library!"
"Déjà vu!", thinks White Wolf to himself. And he pulls himself
further from the pile, expecting to see Zack again. And he's
surprised to find it's not Zack. In fact, this individual is
distinctly not human. And without thinking White Wolf blurts
out, "What are you?!?"
The startled individual turns around, "Oh dear, perhaps the
teleporter affected us both in the transition. Please stay calm,
sir. I don't know how to break this to you sir, but, the teleporter
seems to transformed you into a small hamster and put us both into
this doll house library. I don't understand, I had set the teleporter
to seek a non violent place for your vacation as per your
instructions. I most humbly apologize, I won't be able to complete
today's chores."
White Wolf shakes his head in confusion, and continues "Umm, I think
you have me confused with someone else, My name's White Wolf, and I
know I'm a giant hamster. Pardon my vulgarity, but I must ask you
again, What are you?"
Looking confused, the individual replies "You don't know what I am
sir?! I really have taken a misstep with that teleporter, haven't I?
Oh, where are my manners?", the individual steps back, and bows
slightly, "I am a series 4000 Mechanoid. My designation is Kryten-
2X4B-523P, but humans often can call me Kryten among other things."
White Wolf's hamster eyes widen for a second, and looking Kryten over
from head to toe, quietly replies "I must compliment your superb
engineering! I've never thought an android would be so well done."
Kryten attempts a smile, "That is a great compliment coming from you,
sir"
"Me?!? Why would you say that? I'm just a space hamster."
Puzzled, Kryten inquires "I am addressing THE White Wolf, one of the
founders of the mechanoid series? Correct?"
"I'm not sure If I can give you an answer to that, Kryten. For all I
know I already have... or will if you know what I mean, since I'm
atemporal and I think a decent engineer so given enough time I'd
probably come with just about anything given enough time."
"Atemporal? Ahh, that would explain a great many things. I see you
have a Vidman classic. That certainly brings back some memories.
Could I connect your vidman to my groinal attachment?"
White Wolf steps back, and gapes for a second, and growls "Groinal
attachment?!? What kind of perversion have you got in mind?!"
"Oh no Sir! Nothing perverted. I will just upload my schematics to
your vidman, so you can give me a diagnostic. That would be a
mechaniod dream come true! I would be honored sir, if you would."
Looking a little skittish, "Umm. Ok, What does it entail?"
"First, I'll connect up to your vidman like this." Kryten whips out
his attachment hose, and connects it to White Wolf's vidman. "and I
upload my schematics. And then you follow the instructions, under
Diagnostic maintenance."
Looking at the display on his vidman White Wolf starts to
inquire "How do I do I bring that up?", when from above a voice calls
out.
"Kkkkrrrrrryyyyytttteeennnn, Wwwwhhheeeerrrreee aarrreee yyyyooouuuu!"
"Who's that?" exclaims White Wolf.
"Oh Dear, that would be Mr. Rimmer, sir. He was the one I mistook you
for. We must have gotten separated. Perhaps we should find him."
"I think he's on the third floor, let's take the spiral staircase."
As Kryten and White Wolf climb the staircase, another jolt rocks the
ship. And Rimmer screams a lilly livered scream and comes running
down the stairs, bowling them over.
All three get up. And Kryten starts to apologise, and the man called
Rimmer mouth open gaping at White Wolf from top to bottom, and
blurts "My god! That's the hugest set of test-... ahh...
Nevermind..." quickly hitching up his pants he turn toward Kryten.
"Kryten, you mental inebriate! When I asked you to take us to nice
non-violent place so can reminisce on my past risk games. I thought
perhaps you would bring us to someplace nice like, waxworld, where I
could relive my spectacular leadership on bringing them to victory.
Instead you flamingo up and bring us to Rodentworld!"
White Wolf speaks up, "Say, haven't I met you before?"
"I mostly certainly think not, I think I would've remembered meeting
some giant talking disgusting vermin."
Kryten interupts "Sir I must protest! Though Mr. White Wolf may look
like a giant disgusting vermin, he is no more a mere hamster than my
head is a amusingly shaped pile of mashed potatoes!"
Another jolt knocks them all to ground. And Rimmer retorts, "And I
suppose that wasn't a earthquake either!"
White Wolf quips "Actually, I think that was a bolt of `Niceness'
being fired at us. We're under attack. Are you sure we haven't met?
You look awfully familiar for some reason."
"Niceness. What else should I have thought from hamsters war? Kryten,
I want go back now, before some Looney hamster brigade captures us,
and sentences us to life of running on the wheel."
"Very well, Mr Rimmer sir, grab hold of the teleporter, and I'll hit
the reverse button. I'm sorry I have to be leaving so soon Mr. White
Wolf, I hope to see you again sometime."
White Wolf exclaimed "We're not all hamsters in this alternate
universe." And trying to be heard over the next jolt, yelling "Hey! I
remember where I recognize you from! Your one of the Red Dwarf crew
we're looking for!!!"
Rimmer says to Kryten before they wink out of existence, "What did he
say?"
And the six foot 1 inch hamster is again buried under more books, he
mutters loudly, "Aww Smeg, Smeg, Smeg!!!"
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OOC – Had to twist my continuation idea around to fit Zack's input,
but I think it still works!