Oh 'eck ...
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Mr. Stuart 'Stewie' McKenzies Log
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Today I had one of the cruddiest days of all time.
9.00AM When I opened the store, a drunken slob (possibly a member of the
Security staff, it is uncertain) dragged onto me before keeling over saying
"Man, your clock doesn't flush".
9.30AM Managed to clean up the aforementioned drunken slob's urinal stains
on the 1000 dollar-pounder grandfather clock.
9.40AM Greeted my employees - all 3 of them - Michelle Dubois, Harry
Smith-Weston & Carol Franc. I remind myself to ask the Captain for the
hiring of staff.
10.00AM Tea break. My cup of tea is shattered by a laser of some kind. I
turn to see Harris. I don't think he's too happy about the comment I made in
the December catalogue.
10.10AM Recovering from being beaten up brutally by the aforementioned
Security officer.
10.30AM 200 Revolving and static Christmas trees are plopped on the doorway
of McKenzies.
11.40AM Managed to get 140 trees to the Xmas section.
12.30PM Got the last 60 trees heaved into the Xmas section just in time for
lunch. Met Commander Niples. Informed him kindly that he was standing on my
broken toe.
12.40PM Got to the cafe only to be told that is was closed for the
afternoon. I hurry over to the vending machine
12.45PM Got to vending machine - Nachos and beer only -
1.00PM I shhhhhooorttaaaaaa ggoootttttttt drrrrrruuuuuuunnnnnkkk aaafffterr
... uh .... shix pints worfffffffff.
4.00PM Woke up with a massive headache. Looked up and saw that the entire
men's hologram suits where stolen.
4.10PM Stood up and walked to the suits only to be hit on the back of the
head. Where were my staff?
5.00PM - I woke up and realised that all hologram suits were stolen. It was
closing time anyway. Saw that the employees have all gone.
Like good people they locked the front door. I pulled on the handle only to
discover that I pulled it off. Tried another exit when I set off an alarm.
Security people from everywhere pounced on me and stood on me - only to
realise that I was who I was and let me out. I had just the locked building
when I realised I left my keys in there as well as my briefcase.
5.40PM - I reach the monorail only to realise I have left my wallet in the
briefcase. I have to walk all the way to my quarters.
5.50PM - Found the only Xpress lift in the Promenade - closed for cleaning -
use stairs. The Promenade is on Deck 5 - My quarters are on Deck 11. So I
climb lots of stairs
6.50PM - Reach my quarters only to find the TV, stereo, and electric train
set stolen. I collapse on the couch.
END LOG
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