*Action* "Showdown"

Seymour & rest of crew who’s around
Near where the Club “Shipwreck” used to be
It had been quite an interesting night so far for Seymour, in fact an
interesting day. When he awoke in his hotel room this morning he didn’t
expect to witness the New Ibizan volcano erupting twice, meeting an angry
swarm of bugs, being connected to the telepathic hive mind of the bugs, been
urged to dance to “Macho Man” in a club until he realised that people were
laughing AT him rather than with him. And now he was watching a gigantic Jay
and a rather large insect with a ship on its head do king-fu on each other.
In fact, where had the rest of the bugs gone? A lot had been killed, insect
carcasses lined the streets where the Blue Dwarf crew had tried to protect
the residents and holidaymakers of New Ibiza. Now the holidaymakers were
coming out of hiding and milling around the streets, wondering why a large
person had just stomped on the last remaining sweetcorn-roasting stand.
“Well I’d better make myself comfortable” Said Seymour taking a hanky out of
his pocket and dusted down a doorstep, which he sat down on and watched the
fight. Others did too, trying to scrounge a few bits of popcorn from the
ruined corn stand. They all clapped together as Giant Jay made another swing
with his sword.
***Meanwhile***
The Queen hung upside down on a strutting out pole on the top of a
skyscraper. Beneath her was lots of air and certain death, and to her right
was a large “Planet Killer” bug and probable death.
On her left however was a hovering Starbug piloted by Steev, Lodo was
reaching out for the Queen but just wasn’t close enough.
It was safe to say the Queen of England wasn’t happy. In fact anyone in the
near vicinity, of perhaps within a few miles could tell that she was
unhappy.
“Will you two f**king airheaded bast*ards stop arsing about and actually
rescue me, I’ve been hanging here for 2 bloody hours. And That’s only
because you failed to rescue me the last time, and I had to hang onto this
pole, and then the time before that you said you caught me, but then dropped
me on a completely different building!!! Just hurry up you bloody twats,
this bug’s getting closer and its probable as smegging bored of being on
this building as I am. I bet it just fancied a quick snack, but then die to
you’re messing about its been up here as long as me. I’m starting to think I
should just let the smegger eat me!”
“Maybe we should get a rope…” Suggested Steev.
“Don’t you go f**king anywhere, just rescue me, it can’t be that hard!”
“But if we get closer the bug will get us…” Whined Lodo.
The Queen sighed. “Men” She moaned. “All just pussies….”
“I heard that!” Shouted Lodo.
The Bug on the tip of the skyscraper tried to manoeuvre its bulky body
around the large lightning rod, but had difficulty and slipped a bit.
Steev backed the Starbug away. “look, look! Did you see that? It just tried
to attack us!
The bug slipped and fell off the skyscraper, falling to its mushy death
below.
“Oh thank you!” Shouted the Queen sarcastically. “If you’d have just eaten
me it’d been a lot easier!”
Steev flew closer and the Queen jumped on.
“So…” Said Lodo, trying to smooth talk the voluptuous Queen. “What did you
have in mind for that reward?”
He moved his body closer, and tilted his face to her, expecting a kiss.
The Queen punched him hard in the face, he fell backwards, his nose
bleeding. “Hey! That wasn’t very Queenly…” He whined, trying to stop the
bloodflow.
“Just take me to the ground thanks, I’ll make my own way.”
They did as she asked and flew off.
The Queen walked the streets, New Ibiza wasn’t turning out to be what she
expected. There seemed to be more screaming, killing and large insects than
booze, music and casual sex.
Talking about large insects. It looked like they had regrouped. The group of
warrior ants seemed to be huddled together, maybe discussing something, a
new tactic maybe? But they were doing it telepathically. She almost walked
into the group as she rounded a street corner.
One of them looked up, then they all did.
This was one of those moments where you don’t quite know what to do,
everything is still until…… she pegged it. (that means run, lodo)
Like a herd of stampeding wilder beasts, the ants came running after her.
***Seymour and rest of the crew***
“Oooh!” The crowd groaned as the insect got a punch in on jay.
“Ahhh!” They all sighed as Jay got a hit back.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” Shouted the Queen as she came on the
scene, followed by a mass of warrior insects, their spidery legs moving in
that creepy spider-like way. Seymour shuddered.
“Quick, in here!” Shouted Captain WW to his crew. He led them into another
club.
“The Wet and Wild club?” Said Seymour, reading the title on the door.
“That’s highly unusual of you WW.”
WW lifted and eyebrow, hoping he hadn’t just led his crew into a raunchy
club.
The pole dancers didn’t mind when the entire BD landing party piled into the
nightclub.
Jay ogled at one of the dancers, who was giving him the eye, Alota hit him
on the back of the head.
Luckliy the club had two floors, WW led the crew upstairs and got all of the
dancers and dirty old men to evacuate with them.
The insects started coming through the doors, they sniffed around, unable to
find the scent above the amount of sweat, hormones, smoke and perfume in the
club.
Efof found his way into the DJ box, through the big glass window he could
see down into the club where all of the ants were gathering, packing
themselves in tightly. It looked now like all of the remaining bugs on New
Ibiza were in this club.
“It looks like there isn’t a back door.” Said Phil.
“Great.” Said Whitewolf.
Suddenly the main lights turned off, it was Efof experimenting with the
buttons in the DJ box. Pressing another button he made a big steel door
close down over the main door.
“Great, now you’ve trapped us in here with the bugs!” Jay shouted at him.
Disco lights turned on, and then music.
“Yeah baby!” Said Efof, and grabbed the mike. “Welcome to the Nightclub Blue
Dwarf, this is your resident DJ Yuwan’kar.
“What a stupid name for a DJ!” Said the clubs resident DJ: DJ Tablespoon.
The Hymenoptera didn’t know what to do, some of them might have been trying
to dance, if you could tell what dancing on 6 legs looks like.
From some other windows looking down to the ant-infested dancefloor, other
BD crewmembers were mooning the hymenoptera through the glass.
“Lets have a foam party!” Said Efof, starting the foam machine. The
hymenoptera started getting washed with foam bubbles.
“They must be getting jolly well annoyed by now!” Said Seymour. Who was
watching the action, he was amazed at how Efof was pressing all the buttons
on the decks and scratching the records at the same time with his 4 arms.
“Phew, its rather hot.” He said, mopping his brow. Seymour turned to WW.
“Want a drink of water, I think theres a tap here.”
WW agreed and Seymour poured a liquid from the tap into two cups.
“This isn’t water, its vodka!” Said WW sipping the liquid.
One of the dancers came up to him from behind. “Yes, we pump vodka straight
through the waterworks. It comes from the taps, the sprinklers everything.
It saves buying bottles….”
“It comes through the sprinklers?” Said Seymour. “Onto the dancefloor? That
gives me such a brilliant idea!”
<Get the hint? I’ll let someone else carry it on because its so obvious!>
David "Onion" Ball
Captain Seymour Niples, JMC Blue Dwarf
WWW.BlueDwarf.co.uk
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Londo: "Stop eating that, you don't even know what it is."
G'Kar: "Its called 'rice'."
Londo: "Yes, and if it were that good do you think they'd be throwing it at
each other?"
(Babylon 5)
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