Queen + Seymour "Fears+ Boobs"

The Queen of England
Queen Brittany-Jennifer appeared in her apartment block on New Ibiza through
a swirly red white and blue wormhole mist. Although you wouldn’t be able to
tell that she was a queen, she was wearing a tight fitting sleeveless
F.C.U.K top and denim hotpants.
She sighed, it was good to get away from the palace, all the stuffy butlers
and that snivelling prime minister who kept drooling over her. What a dork,
she thought. But now she had come to New Ibiza for some fun. Looking out
from her balcony, the view had changed quite a bit since a few weeks ago
when she’d been here last. Half of the clubs and bars had been destroyed,
and there were lots of dead insects littering the streets.
She recognised a shuttle that had landed near her apartment block, a Starbug
from the Blue Dwarf. There were a few Blue Dwarf security officers and other
crewmen shooting the few insects that were still alive, she saw one man just
shooting dead insect carcasses saying “I swear it just moved!”
“This all looks a bit unusual…” She said turning her head to see another
way, this time she saw a huge bug stampeding towards her. She started
shouting to the crewman down below to attract his attention.
“Excuse me… Hello?! ….Mister…… Oi twathead!!”
But it wasn’t working, the man glanced up a few times but couldn’t seem to
see her.
The crewman below was Steev MackEnzyyyyyyy, he looked up again as someone
shouted. This time the queen knew how to attract his attention, she lifted
her T-shirt, exposing herself to him.
Steev looked up and was immediately entranced at the sight of bare female
flesh.
“Cor blimey…”
The Queen ran as quick as she could down the stairs and up to Steev, she had
to close his mouth as he was still gawping at her. “Hi, I’m Queen
Brittany-Jennifer, but you can call me Jen. Can you do me a little favour?”
“Ggggg, erm yes…. You’re a Queen?”
“Yes twathead, what’s wrong with that?” She said, loosing patience quickly.
“Erm…… you’re fit. Is it allowed?”
The Queen sighed, and said in a seductive way “Theres a giant stampeding bug
over there the size of 10 elephants coming straight for my apartment. So if
you stop it and save my apartment for me then I’ll make it worth your
while…. If you know what I mean.” She added a sexy wink at the end which
made Steev tingle all over.
He puffed his chest out and wanted to say something heroically in a deep
voice but couldn’t think of any thing heroic to say.
Suddenly a smaller warrior-ant bug, which was walking around the massive
ankles of the giant turned around and shot a powerful spiders web out of its
arse, wrapping around the Queen’s leg and pulled her in the path of the
gargantuan beetle. The beetle picked her up in a pincer-like claw and
started climbing a sky-scraper hotel, King-Kong style.
“Do you still want me to save the hotel or shall I save you first?” Steev
shouted.
“What do you think?” Was the annoyed answer from a few hundred feet closer
to the sky.
“Damn, she’s feisty!” Said Steev.
<Steev?>
Seymour, Whitewolf and Sydra,
Distracting the bugs
Seymour stood behind Whitewolf and scowled at him,HE was supposed to be the
insect expert. How could Whitewolf know everything? he felt pangs of
jealousy pulsing through his body. And what if people thought Whitewolf was
a better captain? Seymour felt his face frowning.
Maybe this was what he should talk to Cerebrum about, not where his fear of
spiders came from. Besides it probably was from his mothers side…
It had started raining, not normal gentle rain but harsh, tropical rain, the
skies got darker and it suddenly became very difficult to see. It added an
eery mood to the goings-on.
They walked outside onto the flight pads near where the spider ship was
being created, (or puked on, in Efof’s words). “Okay, lets start a
distraction.” Said Whitewolf.
“How?” Asked Seymour.
“Fire your weapons at them, you don’t have to hit any- but I suppose it
helps if you do. As long as we get their attention.”
Seymour felt that jealousy again, Whitewolf always had an answer for
everything! He should have known that. He’d been captain for longer…
They all started shooting. Seymour caught a few bugs, but the distance and
the rain made it difficult to shoot anything. Whitewolf shot an ant head on
with so much force that its abdomen exploded.
Seymour tried to do one better and shot an ant’s six legs off so that it
flopped to the ground, bleeding. Sydra saw the looks Seymour was giving
Whitewolf and wondered if they had some kind of competition going on, it
must have been a male thing. Whitewolf didn’t even notice.
It definitely got the ant’s attention, they started to climb off the ship
they were constructing and walk towards them. As Whitewolf had pointed out,
the ants wee nearsighted and couldn’t tell where the shooting was coming
from. And the downpour made it difficult for them to get a scent on their
attackers. But they knew vaguely where the weapons fire had been coming
from. The lead ant headed towards them, followed by lots more snaking
behind, following its pheromone trail.
Whitewolf spoke up. “They’re coming towards us, they can’t get our scent
because of the rain-“
“-Yes I know!” Seymour snapped bitterly without cause.
Sydra and Whitewolf shot some more, but Seymour still wanting to outdo
Whitewolf continued to shoot as they came closer, then backed away- but
snagged himself in a huge sticky spiders web.
“Argh, argh! Its all horrible, its in my hair!” he screamed in fright.
"Hurry, there might be a spider. I hate spiders, but i can handle the big
ones... but the little ones-urgh, they can get anywhere." He started
itching.
Whitewolf ran back to pull him free but the web was strong, and Seymour’s
struggling had tangled him up more. Whitewolf began shooting at the strings.
“Please hurry-“ Said Seymour as the ants got closer. “It feels horrible
against my skin!”
<Somebody help Seymour please!>
David "Onion" Ball
Captain Seymour Niples, JMC Blue Dwarf
WWW.BlueDwarf.co.uk
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He went to kiss her, but remembering her recent wave of vomiting, thought
better of it and went to kiss her hand. The first one he went for was
covered in vomit, so he changed his mind and went for the other. That one
was covered in blood.
What a predicament for a gentleman.
(Katrina Swete+Seymour Niples, BlueDwarf.co.uk)
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