jp with jay and Phil - Jamie Olver gets his comeupance

Who : Those at the beach
 
The wave finally hit the beach. Luckily it had shrunk somewhat and was only about 1 foot high by the time it hit the shore. Mini-Phil rolled off and landed at Niples feet.."EEEeeeEEE!"
"What did he say?" Niples asked, looking down at the midget
"Oh nothing, ignore him" Phil said, "Blue Dwarf security at your service Sir!"
"Interesting choice of transport" Seymour said.
"Yeh..well, Alota stole the dinghy..shes gone well, nuts, she’s mad a t Jay y'see"
"He didn’t get her pregnant did he?"
"God I hope not, much as I like them, there’s enough Chryslers aboard this ship"
 
MP started walking sideways, quietly away from Niples and Phil , who were discussing defense plans for the colony, whilst trying to ignore the screams from all around them.
"AND where do you think you are going little man, " said Phil, making a grab for MP...
"EEE?"
Phil grabbed MP, causing him to drop a small metallic object that looked rather familiar..
Niples picked it up....
"I say Phil old boy, isn't this your old light bee, " Niples handed it to Phil to look at
"Yep, this is, What where you doing with it?"
"EEE. E. EEEEEEeeeEEEeeeEEeeee......E"
"EEeEEEeeeEEEEeeeeeeeeee!!" Mini-Phil explained "EEeeEeeeeeEeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
"You filthy FILTHY pervert!"
"eee!"
"And you just scooped it up while she was offline recharging?!"
"ee"
"You're lucky Jay's not here, he'd KILL you!!"
"What's the problem old chap?" asked Niples.
"Well, the bee currently holds Vanessa Chryslers personality"
"Jay's sister?"
"Thats right, but I cant repeat what this PERVERT was doing with it"
"eeee"
"Yes I know you fancy her but have some control!"
"AND STOP RUBBING YOUR LEGS....I'm sorry about him sir...I dunno why, but he seems to getting more and more pervy...Last week I caught him wearing Tara's underwear..."
"Blimey"
"And that's not the ....hello, what's this...."
A little light was blinking on the light bee.
"What does that light mean," asked Niples, stepping back to avoid a giant beetle thing that scuttled between the two men and started to munch on a hapless B-B-Q chef,
who was by a strange coincidence, a direct descendant and look-a-like of Jamie Oliver.
"It's finished recharging.."
The light bee floated off Phil's hand and Vanessa’s form started to take shape.
"this...isn't my lab" she said bluntly. "This isn't even the ship. For god's sake why doesn't Tara tell me when she's moving stuff around.."
Both men turned around sharpesh...."What's the matter..." Vanessa looked down....She was once again naked.....Phil could hear a very excited..."Eeeee(sound of legs being rubbed)EEEEEEEEEEEEE!"...
"Dang it. Okay I need clothes..."
Vanessa closed her eyes and concentrated....Her clothes were back on...well, Phil’s old clothes where on her.
"Captain…" she said suddenly "Have people been cloning me again?" Her image flickered as a preying mantis’ type claw sliced through her projection. "DO YOU MIND?!" she shouted "HAVING A DISCUSSION!"
The bug ran away.
"What do you mean my dear?" Seymour asked
"Well there’s big me and lil’ me right there!" she said pointing at Phil and Mini-Phil..
"Speaking of which..I don’t feel as tall as usual…"
Phil coughed in the nicest way he could think off..."Phil, it's me the guy from the future..I need to take a look at you light bee..."
"Why?" she asked.."
"Look you know I can't tell you that okay...changes to the time line and all that...Lets just say that I need to fix your bee okay..."
"okay..."
The bee deactivated and Phil caught it.
Using a bit of beetle, Phil open the bee and flicked a couple of switches.
"What was that you said about a future version and what are you doing there..."
"Just playing along with her delusions sir..thought it would help. I'm just repairing the bee, got caught in a feedback loop. Thought that the first thing she saw, she was.." lied Phil
 
A few minutes later she reappeared. "PHIL FeBUGGURE!" she yelled "You where supposed to repair my light bee AGES ago!"
"Vanessa relax!" Phil said "I've temporarily restored you to normal, but if you want me to repair you're bee you're gonna have to help us out"
She wasn’t listening she was sin a state of shock seeing herself in Phil’s old out-dated clothes.
"Eeeeeeeeewwww...." she muttered. "Not stylish at all"
Concentrating hard again her clothing was replaced with a bikini and sarong, she WAS on New Ibiza after all, she changed her mind seconds later when she caught the excited look of glee on mini-phials face, changed again, this time into something less revealing. "Phil...you're midgets scarin me"
"Yeah sorry about him...I think the suns got him..."
"That's not the only thing that going to get to him if I get my hands on him..."
The beetle that was munching the Jamie Oliver look a like decided he was finished and headed towards the posse, making "pu-kka, pu-kka" noises.
 
"soooo...let me guess" Chrysler said sweetly, "You want help with this little bug problem?"
"How did you guess?" Phil replied.
"Call it a hunch!"
"EE!"
"Shut up!" "Hi Efof," said Vanessa to the hiding Ffion who was gibbering and pointing behind them.....
"What he want....", Asked Phil
"Dunno, but him seems to be pointing towards that BFB heading our way," replied Vanessa.
"BFB?"
"Big Flipping Beetle..."
"ahhh..right."
"Phil, I don't suppose you brought any extra weapons did you, " asked a nervous Niples.
"Sure why...Oh bugger..."
There beach was now deserted except for the posse and a load of angry bugs.
 
 
"it's times like this I wish I was still dead!" Vanessa said catching the gun thrown to her by Phil...it swiftly passed through her hand. "oops!" she giggled, "hard light mode might help!" switching to hard light she picked up the gun, looking over to Niples she spoke "So we gonna die or we gonna be sane and run away?"]
 
"I vote we follow that midget..." cried Niples running after Efof, who had gained a clone midget on his back.
"Sounds good to me!" Phil shouted, and let Vanessa run ahead then followed, shooting a few random blasts at the bugs.
"into that cave!" shouted Niples,
Efof did a sharp right, still squealing, and ran into a small cave in the cliff-face, with Mini-Phil "eee"-ing on his back.
 
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