Tarmacademed chickens!

Who: Dean, Amber
Where: a place
When: then
Amber limped over to the helm. She had got rid of her crutches a few days
ago. "Hey Dean....." Amber whispered in his ear. Dean smiled "Oh look it's
the end of my shift all of a sudden. How are your piloting skills after the
fight? capable of holding a ship on handbrake still?"
This was all that piloting the Blue Dwarf required of the helm officer,
whilst they waited for the results of the "big meeting".
"Geez thanx a bunch Dean.... I can fly, I was taught by the best" said Amber
"Nooo...you were taught by Jay. Difference." Dean smiled again.
Amber made an exasperated noise.
"Look come on.... someone will be along soon to take over"
"I've got this really cool idea... I was watching tapes of BDBB and a trick
pulled on my mum gave me the idea. Anyone you think of we could pull it on?"
"Jay. Simple. What was it?" asked Dean
"Well..... it involves tar and feathers..."
"Sounds good, go on...." nodded Dean.
"Geez you are dumb Dean...... put the bucket over a door and the tar and
feathers fall when it is opened coating Jay in the stuff"
"Hey! Don't call a superior officer 'dumb'"
Amber shuffeled her feet and muttered what would thinly pass as an apology.
"That's better. Ok, he's in the conference room. You get the tar, I'll get a
bucket."
Amber laughed and headed off for a shop that sells 'Acme Tar - extra sticky'
and feathers - extra fluffy
Meanwhile, Dean went to "Bucket's R Us." before realising that it didn't
sell buckets, just stuff that made you want to throw up into one. He
eventually found one at "We B Buckets Inc."
The two jokers met up outside the conference room and strung the buckets up
managing to get tar on the floor, walls ceiling and themselves.
"Cor.. bit sticky this tar stuff." said Dean, trying to pick his nose.
"Yeh, I bought the "extra sticky smegging gimp" deal. It means that whilst
you only get 3 buckets worth instead of the usual 5 under the "utter cheap
smeggers" deal, but what you do get is top quality stickiness, (only avaible
at your nearest TarBar)."
"Oh. I see..." said Dean, trying to remove his now stuck finger from up his
left nostril. Suddenly, his finger came free, only to get stuck to his coat.
"Great, now I've got boogers on my uniform AS WELL as tar. And curry. And
Beer..." said Dean, starting to tally the different stains off on his
fingers...
"SMEG! My ears stuck to the door! Quick PULL!" Dean pulled, and eventually
Amber's ear came free, and they landed, in one big sticky heap in the far
corner. Just then, the door opened...
There was a large splash and the tar came down everywhere followed by the
feathers which narrowly escaped Amber and Dean.
"Got him!" yelled Dean and Amber, before high-fiving. And getting their
hands stuck. "Ah... If I put...my foot...up there...on your stomach...and
push...it...." they came apart, before collapsing with more laughter.
There was a noise that sounded much like an angry gigantic hamster. But
neither noticed for fits of laughter and another high five.
Luckily (for Amber and Dean) Dean missed. "Whoops!" he shouted, laughing
somemore...
"Muppet" Amber muttered, so her superior wouldn't hear. Then there was the
distincive ring of someone who had just seen the best thing ever... and the
laugh belonged to Jay.
"If he's laughing.... then who did we...?" Amber tailed off as a hamster
shaped shadow fell over the pair.
"Morning sir." said Dean, suddenly snapping to attention. "Erm.. would love
to stay and chat, but, my....grandmother's....on...fire...
so...I'd....better....go...and....put....her...out. I'm sure Amber can tell
you anything you need to know." Dean turned to run.
"Hold it right there Lieutenant Thomas..."
"I have a medical checkup..... I need to go. now... urm. sir" said Amber
after an over exuberent rimmer special salute.
"And you too, Ensign Cleavage!" continued the booming hamstery-type voice.
Joint Posting by Dean and Amber... our first I think you'll find. It's
actually pretty long too! Wow, novelty, (well, especially for Chris!)
Madness Takes Its Toll, Please have Exact Change
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