Hamsters everywhere, be afraid

Note : To avoid confusion in this post the "REAL" phil is simply called Phil, where as the Phil from the "Peaceship" is called Phil-2. Hope this avoids confusion.
Science Labs
Science Decks
Time : quarter of an hour before the d-drive was activated....
 
Phil walked into the main labs, determined to pass some time until this new d-drive thingy was activated. One of the technicians walked up to him to ask a few questions.
 
"It's about these new experiments boss."
 
"What about them?" Inquired Phil
 
"Why in satan's name are we doing all these experiements on Hamsters?"
 
"Well I'll tell you. I belive that hamsters have  genetic trans-temporal and spatial(TTAS) capablities"
 
"Sure, Sure. But why then are you hooking up electrodes to their genitals?"
 
"Because :
a) I'm the boss
b) After that fiasco with Kenny, I'm narked off with you(pointing at the tech) for letting him escape
c) I'm a sadistic git
d) I belive this will stimulate the TTAS gland.
e) I'm the boss
 
 
It was at this point the d-drive was actiavted. One of the hamsters exploded in a messy fashion due to the trans-temproal and spatial pressure applied to it.Another vanished into a min-wormhole(to places unkown). A third ran on it's wheel faster and faster and faster until it reached light speed.The one with the elctrodes attached to it "bits" simply grinned with a kind of pervy pleasure as the electrity ran through it's little body causing it's hair to stand on end.
 
Saddam the computer started to talk in in some kind of wierd alien dialect that no-one could understand, until it was pointed out that he was in fact speaking in French, speeded up 100 times.
Docking Bay
The Peaceship Blue Dwarf
Time: just after docking wih the peacship
 
Phil gazed along the line of the alternate crew until he spotted a rather familiar looking face. There was something about this Phil-2 that bothered the real Phil. As he looked closer at the smiling waving person before him(smug goit, far too jolly) - was thought of by Phil as, well lets just call it a humoerous gesture, he reaslised what it was.
 
The smegger was alive and not a hologram!!!
 
Phil-2 walked over to Phil and wamrly shook him by the hand. Phil hated him straight away, but his mind was racing as to how he could take advantage of this situation. This was the first time loop when the D-drive actualy worked. Previous times they had altrnalty, blown up the ship, sent into the heart of a star, and rather bizzarly, been shrunk down to the size of an ant and swalloed by a mutant-space dog.
 
"I got some rather intresting experiments on the go at the moment would you and your nice friends care to have a look. ...." Asked Phil-2
 
"Sure no problem. Lets go to the labs.But I think my 'nice friends' have other things to do."
 
"Of course, plase follow me."

Phil-2 lab
PeaceShip Blue Dwarf
Time : 5 mins later
 
The lab and office of Phil-2 was quite impressive. For a start, Saddam was not present. That fact alone notched up Phil's opioion of Phil-2 by a factor of 2.
 
"I see you don't have a computer?" Asked Phil
 
"Ohh, I do, It's very nice. Would you like to speak to it. It's hidden away, but can hear everything you say. AL this is Phil, from the Blue Dwarf that apeared through that anomly a while ago." spoke Phil-2 to appranlty thin air
 
"HELLO DAVE! " came a voice from what appeared to be a fish tank.
 
Phil-2 looked at Phil and shrugged his shoulders "For some reason He calls everyone DAVE. Can't think why?"
 
"You said you has some experiments to show me?"
 
"Yes this way please."
 
The sheer politeness of Phil-2 was really starting to anoying Phil. There was something else bothering him, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it yet. as he looked arund the lab it finally hit him.
 
The lab was much bigger on the inside then it should be. In fact, is was flipping huge, sorry, HUGE!!!!!
 
Disclaimer:No hamsters were harmed during this post, but Phil's lab coat is in need of some serious cleaning.

The Space Corp Directives are well under way. Thanks to Kayn for the weblink, it helped a lot.Only another 196115 spaces to fill....
Idea on what the plan is : A comic strip prehapes?