My dopplegangers record collection

IN THIS POST:
Exactly how did this world end up like this?
Where the hell is Efof?
What is James's double's record collection like?
Al Gore Campaign Headquarters
Year 2000, election night.
"Mr Gore, we just received news that you lost the election," one of his aids
said nervously.
"Oh what the hell!" Gore shrugged, "No point in dragging this out, there's
always next term."
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Bush became power crazy through his instant success, and his first act as
president was to waste the wealth of the entire western world on a big
orbital laser gun pointing at the Russians. Unfortunately, after the
Russians had finished building it for them, the Americans accidentally
created a hyperspace wormhole, sending the laser gun five hundred years
backwards in time across light years of space. It landed on planet Ffion,
where the government hushed it up, until the Bug attack, which they
ruthlessly destroyed.
The Ffion government soon realised that the other races in the universe
weren't as friendly as they were, and set about building a gigantic space
fleet to send peace and love across galaxy, killing anyone who didn't agree
with it...
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All of this didn't stop Efof panicking and hiding in a stasis booth during
the bug attack, but he woke up in a very different world...
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A Peace Ship in the Milky Way Galaxy
Present Day
"Captain Yuw'anker?" the Ffion communications officer said turning away from
his screen, "We just detected a dimensional contamination a few light years
away from The Boredom Zone. The High Emperor Of Equal Citizens himself has
given you orders to sterilize it."
Efof nodded, "How bad is it?" he asked.
"The worst case we've had yet, they have all the forbidden evils on board
sir, from loud music, to violent movies, to glucose drinks! We're gonna have
a job covering this one up."
Nobody but the chosen few knew any of the forbidden evils, and it was there
job to keep it that way, to protect the precious naeivity of the prolet...
equal citizen.
"Set a course!" Efof ordered.
The United Peace Ship F'atba* Star-Delta engaged the
hyper-sub-super-warp-space drive, it would be across the galaxy in
seconds...
*F'atba was a famous philosopher and political activist in Ffion history,
famous for his radical ideas about "Everyone being nice" history records how
this made everyone feel much better, and he was given a semi-detached house
and a stable job with a good pension as his reward. History doesn't mention
his being brutally stoned to death.
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Peace Ship Blue Dwarf
James's Quarters
Why do want to know the time? Chill!
James Johnson was sat in his double's bedroom, fully clothed*. The room was
weird, where Doom's shrines should have been there were instead what could
only be described as trophies, sports trophies, certificates, medals, the
lot.
"Sorry about the mess my dear," James's double was saying, "I'm afraid Kevin
can leave the place a bit of a mess sometimes."
James idly flicked through his double's record collection, it was bizarre.
James didn't even have a record collection! He had a Phil Collins album and
a David Bowie single he used for a drinks mat. The record collection was
filled with Boy George, George Michael, July Garland, Village People.
James's wall was covered in posters of Ronan Keating and Robbie Williams.
James was shocked, he'd never have believed that there would be any universe
where he could be so, so, so, into classical music.
James also resented the fact that his double was a lot better looking. No
left over zit craters, a nice, if slightly lanky, figure, and the turquoise
uniform everyone on the ship seemed to wear hugged James's double in ways
that even a leather catsuit would have trouble managing. If James wasn't
James, he would have sworn his double was, well, sexy. James quickly
repressed the thought, there was definetely something disturbing about
finding yourself sexy, even if it was an alternate version of yourself.
"Don't be shy!" James's double said sitting next to him on the bed, "Go on,
tell me ALL about yourself..."
* I felt the immediate need to mention that, right away.
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