Worse than 'Charlies in Charge'... it's "The Hamster's in charge..."

Where - in a seemingly endless corridor!
When - While chasing after 'fleet foot' Jay.
Who - White Wolf "four (stumble) paws"...
---<Snipazine>---
It was then he noticed the ventilation shaft above, he leapt pulling
the grate off the ceiling, and then leapt again, clutching the rim
of the shaft by his fingertips and with a great effort managed to
pull himself in and quickly crawl along the shaft. He sound found a
jefferies tube, anmd climbed up the ladder, a few decks upwards. By
now White Wolf would be in the vents, but hopefully, he wouldn't know
which floor Jay had gone to.
---<End Snipazine>---
And luckily for him, White Wolf slipped on a banana peel (left behind
by Bobo or maybe perhaps, Dr. Keto) while dashing through one of the
lower levels ceiling ventilation shaft and had to make an unscheduled
stop at a upcoming T conjunction - specifically the face first into
the wall kind...
The groggy looking large hamster sat down there for several long
moments trying to sort out how he could count forty digits on his
paws when he only recalled having twenty a few moments before.
"Well, Y'all can come along, I reckon..." Said the Super Sized
Hamster with a southern twang in his voice, then shaking his head and
finishing normal voiced, "I should've known there would be lingering
effects from phil's gun. Since I've lost speedy, I guess I better go
back to the drive room and make sure that security rounds up the rest
of the pirates and not the crewmembers..."
----------------------------------------
Several minutes later in the drive room.
========================================
The huge hamster stood in front of Ashley the blonde sensor operator,
who was sitting amidst several dozen hair stylists, beauty
consultants, manicurists, and bikini waxologists as he calmly asked
her, "Let me get this straight... Alota left >YOU< in command, and
since you wanted to look perfect for the task, you therefore ordered
all these... people.... to report to the drive room and 'do you up'?"
"Yes! And I'm Tre fabulous. And the interior decorators are dur any
minute for a final sprucing up of my console, and I hope you like
what they've already done with the reconstruction over there which I
ordered them to do too!" Bubbled Ashley happily as several wierdly
dressed (and quite possibly gay) men teased, poofed and spritzed her
hair into a style you'd only see at some ritzy french fashion show or
at mob wife get together.
The capacious hamster dropped his face in his paws, and looked like
he was getting a sudden and very painful migraine headache as he sat
down heavily in the pink fabric reupholstered captains chair with
extra side mirrors from which the seated 'captain' could admire him
or herself from nearly every angle.
Ashley looked at the hamsters remarkably drooping whiskers and asked
uncertainly, "I didn't do something wrong, or against JMC
regulations, Did I?"
The corpulent hamsters face shot up and looked at her in disbelief
for a moment, before he slowly and carefully replied, "Miss Ashley, I
don't think you have to worry, because I don't believe the JMC has
written up any regulations against displays of absolutely horrible
taste. Not yet anyway..."
"You mean you don't like my new triangluar steering wheel design?"
Whimpered Ashely looking very near crying and extremely distressed.
"Oh, I'm sure Jay will love it Ashley..." Offered the massy hamster
nicely, trying to cheer he up when he suddenly had a horrible thought
and blurted out, "You've been steering us!?!"
"YYYeeeeesssss.", Wailed an upset Ashley realizing he was alarmed.
"Great Heiness Dogs!" Uttered the voluminous hamster suddenly jumping
up and running to the nearest computer monitor and yelling, "Holly!
What's our position?"
Holly popped up on the wall monitors looking extremely put out and
asked, "You know your interupting my biannual Play by Email magic the
gathering hand, things were just getting interesting and I was about
to play my 'cootie gra' card."
"Don't you mean 'coup de grâce'?" asked the confused looking hamster.
"No, I mean 'cootie gra', because this magic card gives your opponent
a bunch of cootie's."
"HOLLY! CAN YOU JUST TELL ME WHERE WE ARE HEADED?"
"In a metaphorical, spritual, or ethical sense?" replied Holly
suddenly trying to look serious.
"I want the one we steer by - astronavigational!"
"Oh. Well, happily in this case their all the same - No where."
replies Holly.
"Come again?" says the surprised looking hamster, "Are you telling me
we've been going in circles?"
"Do you mean this conversation?" inquires Holly.
"Or the Blue Dwarf?" Asks the confused Ashley.
"Of course I mean the Blue Dwarf you mental midgets!" Screamed the
overgrown hamster and trying to stomp his foot in fury and
immediately wincing as he banged his leg cast on the corner of the
captains chair instead, "I'm Sorry... The pain from my head and leg
wounds are making me a little cranky. Could one of you tell me why we
haven't gotten anywhere?"
"Well Umm, Dean crashed into the Drive room." Started Ashley.
"And you dropped that EMP grenade into the backup drive room located
in engineering, there was no way to steer the blue dwarf until the
new steering wheel has been put in." Finished Holly.
"Excuse me for a moment." Said the huge hamster with suddenly
uncontrollable twitching whiskers, and entering the gaudily decorated
Captain's ready room just off the drive room, and closing the door
behind him while muttering to himself, "Why does Major Harris have to
be gone when you need him to vent some steam the most?!?"
The squab hamster immediately walked over to Captain Niples desk,
openned the nearest drawer, and stuck his paw with a cast on it in
it. And quickly slammed the drawer on it several times until he
grunted in pain. Then he pulled his reinjured paw out, but before
closing the drawer, he spotted a recent communication from JMC
command in there and picked it up and read it quickly. Then he
muttered, "We're going to be really late..." And then stuck the paper
back into the drawer and closing the drawer before returning back
into the drive room.
He spoke calmly and evenly this time, "Ashley, I want you take the
rest of the day off as a vacation day along with your entourage.
Holly, would you please relay our current astronavigational
coordinates to whichever pilot who's supposed to be on duty, along
with my orders for whomever it is to report immediately to the drive
room to put the dwarf in orbit around the nearest planet and come and
see me for our next destination."
The prodigious hamster settled down in the Captains chair and
added, "Also inform all of our Department heads that I want them to
prepare a report on thier departments readiness for our next mission
in a half an hour in the ready room. I think that should give them
each enough time to assemble thier report. Oh, and would you tell our
new Security Chief, Phil, that I will be expecting his security
department report to contain that satisfying wording of 'all the
pirates have captured or dealt with' like our previous security chief
would have done by that time or he's going to be back on his previous
job of reporting the interesting findings amongst the rocks we happen
to be mining if he gets my meaning..."
The brawny hamster paused, glancing down at three new white and one
red colored buttons on the chairs side arm and asked Ashely as she
was walking out of the drive room, "By the way Ashley, I don't
recognise these four buttons here, what do they do?"
Ashley stopped and started walking back, "What do they have written
on them?"
The mighty hamster read them off, "They just have these letters - WW,
WA, PP, ATR."
"Oh!" exclaimed Ashley giggling and blushing a bright red before
covering her mouth demurely, and running over to quickly whisper it
into his ear.
The hulking hamster suddenly jumped up as if stung by a bee and
said, "I think I'll stand up for the time being. Thanks for the
warning... I mean, info!"
<Tag!>