Unconscious, Doped, Drawn-Upon Captain

Who: Keto, Cerebrum, Unconscious Hussain
-- SNIP --
> "What kind of moronic half-wit would sign this?" Keto shouted.
>
> "A moronic half-wit that had just recieved a fifty thousand
> dollarpound bribe."
-- END SNIP --
"But this is prepost..." began Keto, staring wild-eyed at his wonderful
medibay.
Suddenly his voice trailed off as his eyes caught something on one of the
medibunks. Cerebrum turned to follow his gaze to the unconscious Samantha
Hussain.
"Who's that?" asked Cerebrum as they stepped closer.
"I don't know," replied Keto.
As they grew closer, however, their eyes were able to pick up the insignia on
the new captain's uniform.
"This would appear to be an unconscious, doped, drawn-upon captain who has
suffered some form of liposuctive torture," diagnosed Keto.
"I'd predict that her mental condition will not be one hundred percent stable
and/or satisfied when she awakens," diagnosed Cerebrum.
They looked at each other.
"Hey, you just said, it's your psych-bay, it's your responsibility."
"She's evidently a medical patient. You're a doctor. It's up to you."
"Oh come on, those drawings in marker pen were obviously a cry for psychiatric
help."
"That cosmetic surgery, if that's what it can be classified as, was a medical
procedure."
"That's debatable."
"Fair point, but it's still your area of expertise."
"It's your area of the ship. You've got the paper to prove it," pointed Keto.
"She's a patient."
"In your 'psych-bay'."
"Doctor Keto, I am not responsible for the drugging and mutilation of a Space
Corps officer," stated Cerebrum firmly, "As Chief Medical Officer aboard this
vessel, I believe it is your responsibility..."
"Hold that thought," interrupted Keto, holding up a hand and turning to the
wall monitor, "Holly!"
A somewhat dishevelled looking female face appeared on the screen. Keto and
Cerebrum frowned.
"Who are you?" they asked simultaneously.
"I'm...uh..." hesitated the face, then coughed and said in a falsetto, "I'm
Dolly. Yes, I'm Dolly."
There was a faint pause.
"Whatever," muttered Keto, "Look, 'Dolly', there was something about the crew
all being reassigned?"
"That's right," nodded the disguised Holly.
"So am I still Chief Medical Officer?"
"No."
"HA!" snorted Keto, turning back to Cerebrum, "It's NOT my responsibility!"
"You're now Chief Psychiatrist."
"I...WHAT!?" asked Keto.
"WHAT!?" asked Cerebrum.
"Charles Keto is now Chief Psychiatrist."
"So what am I?" demanded Cerebrum.
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OOC: Tag? ;)