Does the Space Hamster come to the rescue?!?

Lt. White Wolf
Somewhere in the jungle
Moments after setting up Death Wishes Catapult
White Wolf quickly takes stock of his supplies before entering the
brush, (to make sure he didn't drop or leave behind anything
important while working with the rubber tree), One fully automatic
paintball machine gun with 32,000 rounds of ammo (good for one full
minute of auto-firing!) - Check, One blue paint grenade - Check, One
200 gallon a minute water cannon and pump system with a canister of
super concentrated "Tidybowl Blue" colorant dye taken from his small
ships armament - Check, One remotely detonatable paint mine
marked "the big one" in bold letters - Check, One fully watertight
sealed Vidman with Holly 2- Check. But the paintball deflector field
generator was missing!
Stopping and looking around for a moment to see if he dropped it, the
Six foot 1 inch hamster then spotted Death Wish wearing a belt that
looked suspiciously like the generator. Shrugging and thinking, "I
was going to give it to Major Harris, But I guess is a better idea
for Death Wish to have it anyways...". White Wolf then drops to all
fours, and darts off into the underbrush.
After a few minutes of quietly moving through the bushes, he stops,
and carefully pokes his head out from underneath the underbrush
looking decidedly like a mouse peeking out of his mouse hole. He
surveys the area, yep; he's behind the marines' base. And thinking to
himself, "Curse it all! They've cleared most of the brush away from
the base; I won't be able to sneak up on them undetected. Hmm,
alright, time to switch to plan B."
Ducking back into the underbrush, and maneuvering himself to where
there is small pond nearby, he quickly sets up the hose and pump
system for his water cannon. And then moves over to the dry, soft,
loamy soil and begins digging a hole.
He quickly gets to his size in depth. He stops and sets up a small
trench just deep enough to hide the water hose from the pond to the
hole, drops the hose into it, and covers it up again. Then gets into
his hole and camouflages the entrance with dirt and underbrush.
Finally, the huge hamster shoves most of his gear ahead of him, and
takes out one item and quickly rigs the "big one" as a trip wire
booby trap to blast anyone stupid enough to enter his hole back out
of it, behind him.
With that done, he grabs up his equipment and digs downward a ways
more. He stops and pulls out his vidman bringing up Holly 2,
whispering, "Holly2, I need you to give me a GPS reading superimposed
on this planets topographic map."
Holly2 nods, winking with his right eye and using closed captioning
instead of his voice replies "Uplinking to the Blue Dwarf via
transceiver. Connection successful. Crosslinking to the realtime
planetary GPS system. Done. Give me a moment while I hack back into
the stations mainframe to pull up the topographic maps from their
database ...", the huge hamster waits agonizing half minute while
Holly 2 displays something that looks rather like a music video. Then
a highly detailed multicolored display comes up. "Ace!" whispers
White Wolf, and studies it a moment to get his bearings, and begins
digging again.
Lt. Biff
Near the Marines base camp
Meanwhile
Biff, looking rather dejected at being eliminated so easily, wanders
back towards the marines' camp. He, of course, is somewhat lost and
has been going in circles for a few minutes.
Finally, deciding that he's thirsty he doubles back to toward a pond
he saw earlier to get a drink of cool water. He tramps loudly
through the underbrush, grumbling loudly "Where's that smeggin' pond?"
Lt. White Wolf
Underneath the marines base camp
Moments later
Checking his position on the vidman to where he remembers the flag
being at the marines' base one more time before digging upward, he
knew needed the timing of this last bit to be right. He hitched up
the water cannon to his left shoulder ready to punch it upwards when
he broke through to the surface, and he carefully began to dig the
last few feet with his right paw.
Suddenly, he heard some heavy sounding footsteps from above. He
stopped digging. The last thing he wanted was one of those big oaf
marines to be falling through onto him. He waited until he couldn't
hear any more footsteps.
Lt. Biff
Near the pond behind the Marines base camp
Meanwhile
Biff finally found the pond. He quickly went over, and kneeled,
bringing a cupped hand of water to his lips. He stopped when he
noticed a hose sticking into the water.
Dropping his handful of water and exclaiming "What the SMEG?!?". He
quickly followed the little freshly dug ditch back towards a small
mound of leaves and underbrush, which he wiped aside.
Puzzled, he muttered, "This is dirt is all freshly dug. I don't
remember any of our side putting anything over here..." And then, in
a amazing mental feat that Lt. Biff has rarely accomplished before,
He came to a correct conclusion. With voice that spoke volumes of
eager anticipation, "It's got to be that smegging rat... I'll
fix `em!" And he began to dig furiously.
Suddenly, as he uses his hands to scoop out more gobs of the soft
loamy dirt, he realizes both his hands are underneath a trip wire. He
barely avoids snagging the wire with the cuffs of his uniform as his
first reaction to immediately pull his hands out. Beads of sweat
build up on his forehead as he concentrates to slowly withdraw his
hands from underneath the trip without touching it. Then, a huge bead
of sweat forms on his brow and begins to run into his left eye
temporarily blinding him there, absentmindedly, Lt. Biff reaches up
with a hand to brush the sweat off.
The trip wire to the "big one" goes <Snick!>. And then Lt. Biff,
realizing what he's just done, let's out a bone chilling scream
of "NNNNNOOOOOOOOooooooo!!!" that can be heard several hundred yards
away.
--------------------------------------------
Pvt. Death Wish
Off in the Jungle sitting upon a rubber tree catapult not far from
the marines' base camp
Mere seconds after Lt. Biffs scream
Upon hearing Lt. Biff's wailing scream from towards the marine base
camp, Death Wish quickly yells, "That must be the signal they told me
to wait for!" and quickly cuts the rope tying down the tree. Sending
him flying towards the marine camp, while yelling "Banzi!!!"
---------------------------------
Lt. White Wolf
Underneath the marines base camp
At exactly the same moment
The huge hamster listens to the silence for a moment longer, and then
begins digging with his right paw again. He quickly breaks through to
the surface and sees light streaming down. He takes only a moment to
eyeball the area above through the small hole to check where the
marines' flag is. It's off to his right, and there's a marine
standing in front him with his back to the huge hamster. Without a
moments' hesitation, White Wolf jams his water cannon muzzle up into
the hole and aims it at the marine standing guard, and literally
blasts him off his feet!
Two marines standing nearby turn around just as the airborne marine
goes over their shoulders, they try to duck as a spectacular blue
colored geyser sprays them and the entire marine base camp for fifty
feet around. Three more marine guards standing just outside of the
geysers spray radius debate what to do, because they can't see how
they can shoot at their enemy without getting coated in blue.
White Wolf stops his water cannon, drops it, and quickly reaches up
with his right paw, and grabs at the Marine's green flagpole, gropes
around for a second, and then seizes the pole, uprooting it. The
three marines now react, they dash forward while firing, aiming to
hit the paw at a distance of fifty feet, fortunately for White Wolf,
none of these marines are that good of a shot with a paintball gun.
The area gets pelted with green, as the green flag disappears down
the hole.
White Wolf begins scrambling further into his tunnel, as the three
marines nearly reach the hole. Death Wish suddenly crashes to a
ground about three feet short of them. There's a pregnant pause as
the three marines stare at Death Wish and Death Wish stares back.
Death Wish, realizing this could be his moment of glory, quickly rips
open his jacket revealing the multitude of paint grenades, and grabs
the pull wire. The three marines quickly swing their rifles around to
shoot him. They fire, and he pulls the wire at the same instant.
Suddenly, a tremendous explosion roars from the behind the marine
camp, which can be heard all the way back to the dwarfers camp. The
three blue paint splattered marines and one green splattered Death
Wish watch in stunned surprise as a brilliant ball of blue flame
gushes upward and Lt. Biff sails through the air away from the camp.
Below, White Wolf suddenly realizes he should have consulted Penny
Lloyd on how much explosive to use in that paint mine, and quickly
reverses courses trying to make it out the hole before the blasts
backwash down the tunnel arrives.
A mere thousandth of second later, the four men suddenly see the huge
hamster suddenly trying to scramble out of the hole. The six foot 1
inch hamster suddenly gets stuck, and yells "Get me out of this!" The
four men are a loss for what to do, and then hearing the loud rumble
underneath the ground suddenly realize what going to happen, and
quickly try to leap out of the way.
As the rumble nearly reaches him, White Wolf mutters, while only
halfway free of the hole, "This does not bode well!"
In a secondary explosion that can also be heard all the way back at
the dwarfers camp, the huge hamster is shot out of the hole looking
for all the world like a circus act where a man gets shot out of a
cannon. White Wolf reaches the top of the arc while still holding the
marine flag in the style of a medieval jouster ready to tilt at his
challenger. The huge hamster yells "Oooohhhhh Sssmmmeeegggg!!!" as he
crashes through the treetops on his downward arc. His 21 point
(that's how many trees he hit) decent finishes face first with a
resounding crash. The huge hamster was sitting face down rear end
stuck up in the air, in a heap in the cleared area in front of the
Blue Dwarfers base camp. The huge hamsters' rear end slowly slumped
down and there was no further movement.
The dwarfers standing guard around the base, looked at each other in
shock as they wondered if the huge hamster was dead, because they've
never seen a human being survive that much abuse before. Several
moments pass as the dwarfers hesitate a little longer, not knowing
what to do.
Slowly, the hamster's right paw shakily hoists the green flag, and
waves it a little. White Wolf weakly raises his head, and calls
towards the dwarfers "I got the flag... Oowwww." then flops his head
back down.
OOC -
Sorry about the delay in my post, I was away studying for my final
test (of six) for my CNE certification. And to make matters worse,
Mediaone (my ISP), decided in it's infinite wisdom to perform
maintenance, which disconnected the entire town of Hugo (where I
live), so I had to wait until my lunch post from my work.
Oh BTW - Yes, I did pass the test - So I'm a Certified Novell
Engineer (CNE) now!