Phil talks to one of the locals

Who : Phil, some PFC, (Phil fried Chickens) and a Local
When : After leaving Tara(whilst laughinh)
Where : City outskirts
 
Phil was walking along, merly minding his own buisness as such.(For Phil this conttitued of trying to will most objects he could see to spntanously combust. Didn't wokr on humanoids though, or Tara would now be a small greasy puddle. Correction:Phil's new Laser gaze, did not work on humans Directly) For some odd reason he had a craving for cirps again, CnO flavour of course.
 
Not finding any on his person, Phil grabbed a local who was walkign/fallinng over.
 
"You there!"
 
"Who me?"
 
"Yes you smge for brains. Do you see anyone else here. So Yes I MUST be talking to you.."
 
The sarcasm went over his head like an aeroplane.
 
"What do you want?" asked the the local with a death wish.
 
"I want to know if there's anywhere round heres that sells CnO crisps?"
 
"Crisps?"
 
"Yes, you know, flavoured fried potatoe carvings?"
 
"What's a potatoe...."
 
Phil took of his sun-glasses. "This is NOT your lucky day....."
 
** 10 busy minutes later **
 
"So what your saying is, you would like to purchase, ie hand over something of value. In return for which you require a small packet of, freid ground objects, flavoured with rotted cows milk and a small round white object with stringy hairs that's make you cry when you cut it. Am I right?"
 
"Yes"
 
"Good. If I tell you where you can do this bizare thing, Can you stop dangling me over this river then, please..."
 
Phil had the man by the ankle dangling over a bridge that was crossing some water.
 
"Just point me in the right direction"
 
The man pointed towards a resturatnt type place. "Go in there ask the nice lady and she'll get it for you."
 
The little voice in phil's mind spoke to him again - "go on drop him in the river. That's teach the git for smart mouthing you."
 
"Jolly Good. By the way , What's your name?"
 
"John Terry, why?"
 
"Can you swim?"
 
"Swim, what's that..."
 
"Well you're gonna find out..."
 
Phil then dropped the poor guy into the water. Luckly for him it was only 1 foot deep. Unluckly, the guy was a thick as pig mess and propmty downed trying to get out of the water....
 
"Bugger....I've killed him..."
 
The voice spoke again - "That's two now. Why not find Keto and go for the hat trick.."
 
For the first time in ages, Phil realsed what he was thinking about doing.
 
"I'm trying to kill Keto. As much as I hate him, I wouldn't want him dead."
 
The voice spoke again - "Well then, You have to share Tara with him then won't you....."
 
"Like hell I will" said Phil to world at large.
 
He then made his way back to the city for some food.
<<anyone in the city care to join Phil for lunch?>>
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